To think this Brown Owl is plain rude?

[itchybumagain]

My DD is a Brownie and she loves it.

She's only recently done her promise, so is working towards badges.

They are doing their 'friend to animals' badge and we were told they had to bring some pet food as a donation to local charity.

BO also said if they didn't provide the food they couldn't do the badge (I think this is wrong?)

So my DD takes £2.50 worth of food today, we were first to arrive so not busy. DD hands it over, made up look on her face, BO doesn't look at either of us ticks name of list and turns her back on us.

No thank you, nothing, DD looked so let down as she chose it herself hence the £2.50!

Plus I think it's unfair to put conditions of donations for them to get the badge, what if someone can't afford it?

I've bit my tongue but itching to say something

Yep, madwoman's response is spot on.

God thread's like this boil my piss, and they seem to be on the increase too. The bloody sense of entitlement is staggering.

Just to address the 'we were first to arrive so not busy comment'. Have you ever run a club such as this? I'm A Rainbows Guider, at the beginning of the meeting I have a hundred different things running through my head at that time. I could list them, but maybe OP you could just have a little think about what might be involved at the start of a meeting. I can tell you I can add at least 10 things you would never think about until you started running a group.

What's the problem with sending emails at 11.30 at night? I am fast asleep at that time. So I will read them the next morning. That's the beauty of emails versus telephone calls, they don't inconvenience you (if they come on a smartphone switch the loud notifications off and leave it away from your bedroom).

It sounds like she was very busy. Yes she could have said thank you but if she was filling in forms/lists probably didn't think.

She's doing a great service being a Brown Owl at all. I wouldn't want to do it.

YABU

At my Guide unit I would have returned the food to your DD as we collect "anything to hand in" after registration, so that an accurate record can be kept of who has given what. I have 30+ kids every week and need some way of ensuring proper records are maintained. Are you certain that this is not the case here?

Although I would have said "thank you" I would have also reminded your DD of the appropriate time to give me things, and probably therefore not met your standards of gratefulness and fuss.

I am still not clear why people think BO should be thankful for this animal shelter donation, or for this kid fulfilling a clause of her badge.Please could someone explain why?
Why is this entitled kid&mum not thanking BO for passing along their donation ?

Just read mad woman's response and she deserves a huge round of applause. She has pretty much describes me with the three kids and also volunteering for other things because unfortunately it is the same handful of people that always do. I'm chair of the parent council as well and it is far too common for people to bitch and moan about events not going the way they want or not happening at all but they don't get off their backsides and offer to help.

i have a been a brownie guider for 20 plus years most of them as brown owl

I expect when I hand a brownies anything that they say thank you .. so when they hand me something of course I say something .. we lead by example ..

The "you must buy pet food " thing seems odd ..pet lover is usually done at home with your own pet or with a relatives pet .. Though recently pets at home have started running group sessions where the girls can attain their badge I believe

yes we have parents who act like their child is the centre of the universe and complain about silly things ..and yes it gets you down and makes you wonder why you give up your time .

then you have 20 happy girls having a great time and you know why you do it

harassed busy or not guiders lead by example and should be polite and mannerly .. its the guide law.. well it was when i made my promise

Frasersmummy - I think you might be misreading the thread. Nobody is saying leaders shouldn't be polite - simply that sometimes they may be distracted and forget or just not even notice something. It happens, and I would bet it has happened to you once or twice at least.

I think the proof of the pudding here is that the OP's DD 'loves Brownies', so this particular Brown Owl must be doing more things right than she is doing wrong.

You know what Lepaskilf, I'm just about done with irritating snippy little shit retorts like the one you just posted.
You think that's the solution do you, that volunteers should just give up if they are stressed? Really? That is your fantastic insightful opinion on the situation, and you feel suitably qualified to give it because you do volunteer work with kids too? Well slow hand clap for you lady.

You have never, ever in your entire life been so busy and distracted that at some point someone has done something nice and you haven't immediately turned round and given you thanks for it? Never? BULLSHIT you haven't. And because this volunteer didn't perform with the highest set of etiquette standards as demanded by random internet kid volunteer worker she should just give up? Just like that? And what then?
Because yeah I bet there are a whole load of other owls just waiting in the wings absolutely desperate to get their hands on that pinnacle of acknowledged achievement which is running a Brownie Unit.

You know what, I am busy and stressed at the moment. I have got an absolute fucking tonne of shit on my plate at the moment, but you know what in a minute when I've pressed post on this rant on your sorry ridiculous 'Consider not volunteering anymore' ass I'll be getting in the car and drive to the local supermarket (with petrol I won't claim for on unit expenses) and buy a load of stuff for the meeting I am going to run tonight. Then I'll drive home (more petrol) and spend some of my precious time doing further prep. I'm going to have to do some accounts too. And spend some time wrestling with the hateful GGUK website checking a load of data for the census. Then, 20mins before the meeting starts I'll be driving to the unit meeting place to set up. Someone will attempt to drop their daughter off 10minutes early and I will have to do my kindly smile and repeat yet again that they will have to stay as I am not allowed to accept girls without at least a second adult helper present. They will roll their eyes at me.
Then girls will start arriving, I will be chasing parents up for unpaid subs (more eye rolling and huffing) "can I just pay next week, sorry I've forgotten my cheque book again". I'll be asking children, their children, to stop climbing on the chairs, even with their parents standing there watching them climbing all over stacks of chairs. I'll be handing out forms that were not taken by missing girls the week before. Someone will hand me subs in cash form, just a helpful handful of notes and coins, no envelope, not labelled, so I'll have to scrabble around in my bag for the subs file and make sure I check their name off in the list to say they've paid. Another parent will come in and tell me that their daughter has come home with the wrong hoody. "Was your daughter's hoody labelled?"r "Er no", "is the hoody she is wearing at the moment labelled?" "Er no", so I agree to spend some time looking at ALL the hoodies in the unit to try and find one unlabelled hoody amongst many other unlabelled hoodies". My young leader at this point decides to tell me that she can't come to next week's meeting but she can come the week after that, but she's not sure, but definitely the one after that, probably. And in amongst all of this a Rainbow gives me a picture she has drawn. And I don't say thank you.

And that parent complains on the Internet.

And some other 'volunteer' come up with the GENIUS solution that maybe that Guider should think about not volunteering anymore.

Well done you. Great post. I feel so much better now knowing that I can just give up whenever I want.

Well maybe one of these days I will. That will serve those five and six year old girls right won't it.

frasersmummy, why don't you apply for your Guiders 'I'm always polite and well mannered 100% of the time as I'm a Baden Powell smiling android rather than another human being with a whole load of other stuff to think about and I'm not bloody perfect' badge.

I bet they have them somewhere. [sarcasm]

Sounds a bit rude that she didn't make more effort to praise DD and all the kids for their contributions.

Adults working with kids have to think about this all the time - making sure they don't disappoint the proud little faces! I'm sure it's really hard to remember but so worth it in terms of encouraging the kids.

@TheColossalOdontoidPeg ... And breath ...

DP used to reckon he was doing it for the kids and in spite of the parents!

Aherdofmims We don't know that she didn't ... Just that she forgot to say thanks when handed a thing before the session actually started.

I agree with your (ranty) post TheColossalOdontoidPeg

@TheColossalOdontoidPeg if I could do likes I would like your post, as a fellow Rainbow leader, it sums it up beautifully.
And don't even mention the people who complain about why there is a waiting list and how disappointed their child is at not getting a place, and phone on a weekly basis to see if there is a space yet. Guess what, you could set up another unit then there wouldn't need to be a waiting list? No? Oh well, sorry she will need to wait......

Well good for you, Lepadkilf, shame we can't all be similarly superhuman.

YABU - at least I think you probably are ...
I can imagine how it went ...
BO is still trying to sort things out for the meeting, get organised, get her brain into Brownie mode...
She's running late - traffic was bad -she's just about managed to pop home for 10 mins after work to pick her things up/get changed - not eaten yet, not seen her DCs...
You and DD turn up promptly -if not a little early (BO thinks oh shit - already?) then whilst she is still getting organised you and DD go up to her and present her with this bountiful gift that she is going to have to lug to the shelter later...
I can see how 'thanks' wasn't the first word that came to mind ...

As others have said it is hard work being a BO ...being involved in any of this kind of activity. In recent years our BO have been more or less forced into it to keep the pack going for their DCs. Then they have to do all kinds of training and learn how to get around 'GO' -the GGUK website members area - where they have to keep up waiting lists and membership information etc -as well as organise activities, get the right supplies in etc...
Getting anyone to 'help as well can be a nightmare...
When DD2 was at Rainbows it got so bad that the leaders had to warn parents it might just not be able to run some nights. Basically they needed a parent helper every week - who could just sit and read a book if they wanted - just had to be there for the ratios. But out of 16 rainbows only 2 or 3 people ever did it ...the same ones - the rest of the parents apparently were 'too busy' - and most were two parent families...
I do the money for our Brownie unit - to take the pressure off the leaders, I have done for 5-6 yrs...in theory dead easy an hour or so work a term - get the fee notes out, collect the money, pay the rent - maybe a bit longer at year end getting someone to verify the accounts and off to the charity regulator and GG HQ etc...
Except it is more than that - I have to keep chasing up the non-payers - the people who have forgotten (again - usually the same people...).
Then new fee notes for leavers/new starts - or have they left? - they haven't been for 3 weeks and haven't paid and are ignoring phone calls to ask if they intend to come back ...and then the next week they turn up....(we budget based on numbers of paying brownies so we can charge as little as we can - we have a waiting list - and an empty/nonpaying space means we are potentially running at a loss)
I encourage people to pay through internet banking but I can almost guarantee no matter how much notice/reminders I do or don't send out I will be picking up a cheque every week - for weeks after the due date. And I don't want to leave banking them too long in case people forget and they bounce (and it has happened) -so then a trip to the bank for one cheque every week ...
Just seen colossal's post - yep agree completely....and if she did quit the same parents would be whinging there wasn't a pack for their DD...

colossal I hope you don't speak to fellow guiders in real life the way you spoke to me .. no need

OP - can I suggest you volunteer to help for 15 minutes at the start of every meeting each week to

• collect and receipt money
• collect and make a note of all forms returned and point out to parents the bits they forgot to fill in
• chase the parents who forgot to bring in the forms despite several reminders
• make a note of which badge Anne has done and that Betty would like to talk about an interesting thing that happened on Saturday
• take the register
• hand out replacement forms for the ones that have been lost
• answer miscellaneous questions about meetings that are coming up
• hunt down the coat that Charlotte left behind last week

None of this is actually getting the actual meeting run, but I can guarantee your BO will welcome you with open arms. And there will be quite a few weeks you can't do it all in 15 minutes. And you will say to a child "just, put it down, I'll look at it later".

I haven't seen a Brown Owl saying it is okay to be impolite, Lepaskilf. Have you?