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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think this a good enough reason to park here?

50 replies

ladyfordington · 03/02/2015 00:19

I have a permit from my DC's Head teacher to park in the school car park when dropping off and picking up at school times. Only cars with a permit are allowed to park here.

I was given the permit for my 8yr old DD - she is partially sighted and is autistic, she also has dyspraxia and hypermobility.

Today however, a parent at school questioned my DD's need to park in the car park, as she is obviously capable of walking - their opinion was that only a child who was immobile should need to be dropped off 'at the door' and that there was no reason DD couldn't walk the same distance as the rest of the pupils whose parents park elsewhere.

She does have mild difficulty walking and with balance, but the reason we park within school grounds is mainly due to her visual impairment - she cannot see oncoming traffic, or cars reversing etc, and has no concept of danger. As I have two younger children to supervise too and with the traffic so heavy during the school run, the Head Teacher was happy to give me the permit to ensure DD's safety. To clarify, once parked, I get out and walk the DC's into the playground, I'm not just driving away and using the permit for my own convenience.

Since the other parent's comments today though, I've felt pretty shitty and can't help feeling others are looking at me and thinking I'm just lazy or making excuses when DD's need is not that great.

AIBU to use the parking pass given the circumstances?

OP posts:
DarylDixonsDarlin · 03/02/2015 00:21

If the head has given you the pass I cant see the problem. Tell her to take it up with the head if she has a problem!

Fanjango · 03/02/2015 00:22

If the head agrees that you have valid reasons to be awarded a pass then use it. Other people's opinions should not matter. Tell them plainly that the head gave you the pass and any questions should be directed to the head.

ToffeeLatteplease · 03/02/2015 00:26

Sensible head.....

Daft interferring parent.

Of course you are right to have the pass.

SomethingOnce · 03/02/2015 00:27

Yeah, cos I bet the Head hands out permits for no good reason Hmm

What an unkind woman.

YANBU.

blankgaze · 03/02/2015 00:29

Please do not question the need for your dd to have that pass. The Head would not have given it to you unless it was necessary.

It's none of that parent's business.

AliceinWinterWonderland · 03/02/2015 00:32

Do not go into details with her, do not explain yourself, it's none of her business. Tell her you have a valid pass and if she has any concerns, she can bring them up to the Head.

Pangurban · 03/02/2015 00:36

You have been given a permit to make the mornings easier and safer for your daughter. I hope it achieves this. I imagine concern for your daughter is not something the other parent reflects on or informs their comments. Evaluate their opinion keeping this in mind.

Original poster
ladyfordington · 03/02/2015 00:49

Thank you for your comments and opinions - I've given way too much thought to this today and let it bother me unnecessarily.

But you're right - the Head gave me the pass for a reason and it does make mornings a whole lot safer for my DD, which is more important than what other people might be thinking.

Thank you for reminding me of that Smile

OP posts:
ChippingInLatteLover · 03/02/2015 01:01

If the Head gave me a pass I'd use it.

End of.

I'm not there to make friends with interfering busy bodies so her opinion wouldn't matter one teeny bit.

Did she actually confront you or did you over hear her moaning?

Either way, I'd tell her that it was none of her business why you had the pass and if she had any problem with it, to make an appointment to discuss it with the Head, so she can tell him that his judgement of the situation is wrong...

Stupid cow.

Strokethefurrywall · 03/02/2015 01:41

Tell her to get bent - none of her business why you have your permit. Knob.

AlpacaMyBags · 03/02/2015 01:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sashh · 03/02/2015 07:47

Take in a blind fold, or a pair of prescription glasses with white face paint over the lenses, wrist splints and a stone to put in her shoe - ask her to wear them all while taking her children across the road.

She will refuse, of course and that is her answer.

(use this with students to give them an idea of older people's problems).

calmexterior · 03/02/2015 07:51

Can't believe someone questioned it, what a horrid woman Flowers

londonrach · 03/02/2015 07:55

Dont see the problem. Head gave a pass for a reason. Its none of that rude ladys business why you have the pass. If she questions you again tell her to take it up with the head.

MrsPiggie · 03/02/2015 08:05

What business is that of hers? Does she also go around questioning blue badge holders? It's between you and the Head, no need to explain yourself to her.

GoringBit · 03/02/2015 08:31

This is between you and the school/head. The pass has been discussed and agreed - with good reason. It's nobody else's business, and I'd be giving short shrift to anyone who tried to make it theirs.

MidniteScribbler · 03/02/2015 08:50

The phrase 'none of your damned business' was custom made for these situations.

MrsSchadenfreude · 03/02/2015 08:56

Tell her it's none of her fucking business and if she feels it is her business, then she should take it up with the head. What an absolute cow. Anyway, good on the head for giving you a pass. The head of the primary school where my daughters went years ago wouldn't let my friend on crutches park in one of the disabled spaces "as her condition was only temporary" (she had had a fairly major op and was on the crutches for months). Sensibly, she chose to ignore the head and use one of the (five, empty) disabled spaces at drop off and pick up.

x2boys · 03/02/2015 08:56

Again if the head thinks you need a permit than you need one horrid woman tell her to take her concerns up with the head !

SorchaN · 03/02/2015 08:58

How extraordinarily rude of her to minimise your daughter's needs! She obviously knows next to nothing about any of your daughter's conditions, and she sees that you have something she doesn't have, which has put her nose out of joint. It's bad enough that she thinks this way, but to challenge you about it is the height of rudeness. While I agree that the phrase 'none of your damned business' is made for these situations, I'd be tempted to include a few four-letter words. How dare she! Grrrr.

MinceSpy · 03/02/2015 08:59

Sadly you are going to have to cope with ignorant people who feel they can judge other people. The head feels you benefit from a car park pass so just ignore this nasty woman.

lunar1 · 03/02/2015 08:59

Just tell her to fuck of and do t let it take up anymore thinking time. She is an idiot!

RufusTheReindeer · 03/02/2015 09:02

It's absolutely none of her business

She's only jealous because she can't park there!!

PandasRock · 03/02/2015 09:07

I have a parking pass for my dd2s school.

Dd1 (not a pupil at that school, but in the car for school runs) has severe ASD, dd2 has AS and I have a toddler ds. The girls get very anxious if we cannot park reliably and I can't walk all 3 safely from the road.

Your needs are greater than mine. Use your pass without feeling guilty. You have it because you need it.

chocolatemademefat · 03/02/2015 09:11

Time she was winding her neck in. Every school has people like this and the more notice we take of them the more important it makes them feel.
Tell her to take her concerns to the head teacher.
I'd be asking her where her car park attendants uniform is.