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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

How can I stop crying.

68 replies

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 31/01/2015 19:00

Thursday night I took an overdose, as a result I have been in hospital and got discharged this morning.

From the medical side I am ok, but my MH is all over the place.

I feel really rubbish about myself, by over dosing to try and kill myself I know mad a bad situation worse. The hospital has referred me to SS and I was threatened that if I left the hospital the police would be involved.

I'm feel really down atm, I can stop crying and can't face people. I can't look at my DC or DH because I feel so guilty. They didn't desrve all of this.

I am such a crap mother and wife.

It's taken me an hour to write this so sorry if it don't make sense.

OP posts:

ohtheholidays · 31/01/2015 20:21

Hi OP,I did the same a few years ago.

Do you know why you took the overdose?Please don't feel guilty everyone knows you have to feel like your in a really awful place to even consider ending things let alone to actually do something that could end it all.

snowvelvet · 31/01/2015 20:23

I have been there. I am sending you much love. Watch something mind numbing on Netflix. Sometimes after this happens you do have to cocoon to process what you have done, if that makes sense. It's too early to try and talk as, in my experience, you wind yourself up more.

Have they given you any Diazepam or something if you get worked up about it?

Try and rest. Fresh air, sunshine and, most importantly, knowing I was not being judged by those closest helped me the most.

londonrach · 31/01/2015 20:27

Cant help just wanted to hold your hand. Xxxx

Original poster

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 31/01/2015 20:29

Thank you for all your kind words.

I can't remember why I did it, I am very forgetful recently.

I think I just didn't see a way out. The panic attacks seem to be getting worse. I can't stop cleaning and the dc are always fighting and arging.
Work is being difficult since I returned from sick leave

OP posts:

imnotproud · 31/01/2015 20:34

I've no idea what the right thing to say is but I can't pass this by.
So Sorry in advance if the rest of my post is crap.... I feel like sharing this is a good thing. It's just one moment in your whole life, let the tears fall and when you're ready hold your husband and children tight.

ohtheholidays · 31/01/2015 20:37

It sounds like you have a lot on your plate at the moment and trying to juggle it all at the same time.

Are you on any antidepressants Piper?I can remember getting really forgetful and having panic attacks for the first time ever and when I finally went to see my GP I was diagnosed with depression.

I would think that they've made you an appointment with your GP as generally your GP would no more about you than the hospital would ie family dynamics,your background any other health problems so they're usually better equipped to help you and make sure you get the real support you need to help you get better.

Original poster

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 31/01/2015 20:40

I am but they don't seem to be working.

OP posts:

JumpRope · 31/01/2015 20:44

Is there a crisis team in your area, that you can call will come visit and checkup? This is used often now is an alternative to hospitalisation, and its value will get better much more quickly at home. I know how difficult it is.

ohtheholidays · 31/01/2015 20:47

Have you been taking them long?they can take upto 2 weeks to start to make a difference(which I know feels like a lifetime when depression is involved)if you've been taking them for a while make sure you tell your GP,there's so many different types of antidepressants now and what works really well for one person may feel like it's having no positive affect for another.

Is there anything that your DH can help you change at home with quick affect that would help lessen the way your feeling?Could he have a word with your work with you or depending on your DC ages could he set up a family meeting to help sort out what's going on with the children at the moment.Or if they're to young could he do reward charts for good behavior for them.

Original poster

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 31/01/2015 20:58

Around 6 months.

OP posts:

ohtheholidays · 31/01/2015 21:09

Ask your DR to put you onto different tablets,if those one's were going to work for you they would have started working well before now.

What about the suggestions I made is there anything that your DH or another family member,friend could help to change at home?

A lot of the time Dr's are able to give the medication to start to help you feel better but having someone around you that can help make life in general better at the same time will only help you feel better much sooner than medication alone.

Original poster

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 31/01/2015 21:35

I will discuss it with the go, I will take the advice and write it down.

I have spoken to a friend today in between crying and DH is making sure I'm resting. He is not much of a cook so the dc thinks it great as he did them a picnic with a film. Then got them a chippy while I was asleep.

OP posts:

Lucyandpoppy · 31/01/2015 22:07

I'm sorry, depression is horrible.

Definately reccomend speaking to GP about switching meds and doing some sort of therapy like CBT.

Do try and get out and meet up with a friend for coffee, if you can. And be gentle with yourself. It can and does get better than this xx

Original poster

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 01/02/2015 11:20

Morning all, didn't have a very good night sleep. Still feeling rather down.

I just want to thank you all.

OP posts:

SuggestmeaUsername · 01/02/2015 17:33

Hi Piper just take it easy and don't expect too much from yourself. concentrate on getting yourself better and resting. It sounds like you have been brave for too long and now is time to let others take the strain for a while.

Original poster

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 01/02/2015 17:35

It's taken me 4 hours to write on 1 side of A4 paper today ready to give to my gp.

I feel constantly sick and shaky.

OP posts:

RandomNPC · 01/02/2015 17:37

I'm glad your husband is so helpful. Having a supportive and sympathetic partner when you have MH problems is invaluable.

SuggestmeaUsername · 01/02/2015 17:47

After what you have been through am not surprised you are feeling sick and shaky. drink plenty of water and get plenty of rest. am sure what you have written down for the GP has been time well spent and will have been worth doing on your road to getting better

DoJo · 01/02/2015 19:19

A four hour investment into a GP appointment which could be the start of something better for you seems like a good investment - you have done well and you should be proud, not just that you have done it, but that you are taking an active role in your recovery. Good luck tomorrow.

SorchaN · 01/02/2015 19:32

Antidepressants can help a lot, but sometimes you have to try a few before you get the right one. I didn't get on very well with Prozac (it seemed to make things worse) but Venlafaxine worked much better. I also found therapy extremely useful, and if you haven't done so yet, you could ask your GP for a referral. The waiting lists can be long, but the wait is usually worth it.

I hope you feel better very soon.

SweetPeaSoup · 01/02/2015 21:32

I've been thinking about you - glad you got some sleep. You've prepared for what you're going to say to the GP, so that's a really good place to start from. Everyone knows there's no magic instant cure, but I hope you can feel that you're taking steps on the road to feeling better (because that's what you're doing) x

Janethegirl · 01/02/2015 21:37

Good luck tomorrow. Hope the GP helps you .

Original poster

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 01/02/2015 21:59

I hope so too.

That's all I want is to be happy, I feel like I'm in a big hole and every time I try to get out the hole gets bigger and bigger.

OP posts:

ohtheholidays · 02/02/2015 07:53

Well done Piper for writing everything down for your gp.That's a really good idea,many a time I've gone to see my DR and forgot something,I expect most of us have.

Have you got an appointment for today?How are you feeling this morning?I hope you managed to get some sleep.

bedraggledmumoftwo · 02/02/2015 08:14

Look after yourself. Hopefully the gp can switch you to a drug or dosage that works for you. In the meantime, try not to beat yourself up and concentrate on you. I would personally go for the ben and jerrys while you are in bed with Netflix.

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