to think the sure fire way to tell if you have genuine friends is to become Ill

[mywholelifeisaheadache]

Now I'm not talking about the kind of illness where they get kudos for being friends with the sick person or where they can use your illness at a dinner party to gain plaudits and sympathy (like cancer) but a chronic illness that disrupts your life, that turns it upside down and means you may have to drop plans at the last minute and isn't life limiting. (not saying cancer isn't like that before I get flamed!)

You know the kind of illness, chronic pain, numerous flare ups, generally makes you feel like shit but low on the sympathy front.

I can't be the only chronically unwell person with no friends can I?

Yanbu. Nine years ago I was dx with epilepsy. Afterwards the number of people who met me in the street and couldn't get away quick enough was eye opening. I'm sure they thought I was going to instantly have a seizure if they even looked at me.

I have been very lucky with friends that have helped.

I also think a true friend is someone who lets me return a favour.

MrsLH has no friends from before her diagnosis with MS (I met her afterwards).

Depression is a great one for losing friends. It's not catching, people.

I've just walled myself off tbh.

I would hate anyone to think I didn't care about them if they were ill but as someone who retreats into her shell when things go wrong I suppose I assume other people want space too. I will definitely rethink after reading this thread.

Completely agree, and would also agree with those who say that bereavement will do it too.

Having experienced a major illness in a family member and a bereavement in the past 8 months, I certainly have a fresh perspective on friendships, bith mine and those of the family member in question. It certainly emphasises why people (particularly with things like MS etc in the early stages) often choose to keep things to themselves.

I have also been positively surprised by others though, who have been supportive in ways I wouldnt have thought beforehand.