To think this is an extremely arseholey thing to say

[Discopanda]

Long story short, big problems going on at the moment with OH, mainly revolving around the fact that I'm 7 months pregnant and he's decided to go out almost every weekend for the past 2-3 months.
Tonight I told him that I would actually like a break and see my friends instead of being stuck at home the entire time and his response was "Well, women just get a harder life, that's why they get to retire earlier".
Good people of Mumsnet, verdicts please!

Well they don't any more - at least they won't by the time you retire so he's a bit of a know-all-knows-fuck-all really isn't he?

I take it you have other dc you need to stay in for?

I think he's being a shit.

Very arseholey indeed. Has he always been so contemptuous of you?

Ooof. Where to begin..

Yes, we have a nearly 3 year old so I can't just go out and do my own thing unless we hired a babysitter.

I hope to god that was a poor attempt at a joke.

So, he has gone out every Friday and every Saturday night for the last 2 to 3 months???
That's bang out of order if so.

In our house, we just take turns mire or less, or whoever gets inmt in the calendar first. One of us might go out twice or thrice on a row occasionally, but it evens out in the end.

What will he do if you ho out first?

Is he starting to panic about arrival of the new baby? Dh sometime goes verb oars to end of my pregnancies plus nov/dec is a huge busy social time. He still said something completely arsy which makes me think he knows he's gone ott. I would be telling next weekend your doing x and he needs to stay in or sort childminder

Remind him we are not living in 1950's. I think you need to talk to him about your expectations of him. He sounds like he needs to grow up! Sadly it sounds like you are with a twat. Sorry.

Wait until 1 hour before he is due to go out. Get your cost- tell him its your turn to go out. head without stopping for door. Go to cinema or something.

get your coat

Get a babysitter and don't wait in for him.

He's a wanker, isn't he.
And clearly not "grown up" enough to be a proper partner or parent.

Seriously though, who the FUCK does he think he is?

It's certainly odd that the pension age for women was ever set lower than that for men given that they have a better expectation of life. One of these days I will research Hansard and see if I can find out why, jn,ess anyboduy here knows.

But that does not change the fact that you are married to a shit.

Leave him. He's a tool.

Sounds like a tool. Sorry.

My DH used to do this. Just go out without any thought for who was looking after his son. He would just leave me to it.

I did what other posters suggested - just got my coat and car keys and left the house. It didn't make any difference, he just left earlier the next week.

He is now my Ex-H. He now has no choice - he has to look after hid DS every other weekend. To be fair, this is what actually made him step up. He's actually a pretty decent Dad and we get on a lot better.

What an idiot. As has been mentioned, he is wrong to start with. Let alone his attitude stinks. It reminds me of my (ex) h refusing to take the DD to the childminder when the youngest hadn't slept that night. He said "this is my day off, if you don't learn to cope with these things you'll never be a proper mum, you need more routine". Apparently any one off was irrelevant.
Now has a eow dad he seems to think he's a hero for taking them to school once every three months. Because "it's your job".
These men who don't see their children as their life really piss me off. He also doesn't support homework or parties they want to attend. It's bloody lame.

Ltb

Andrewofgg

I believe women previously had a lower retirement age because of the tendency of men (in the past at least) to marry women a few years younger than themselves. It was thought to be too galling for retired men to be financially reliant on their working wives.