LTB?

[betweenmarchandmay]

What would actually drive you to leave? Especially if it meant a lot of disruption to your DC?

We don't have DC yet but cheating would make me LTB.

I could possibly forgive DP kissing another girl but I can't imagine him doing it in the first place so don't know how I would actually feel about it.

DP makes me feel very secure but I'm an insecure person generally so couldn't live with the aftermath of cheating, constantly wondering if he was going to do it again!

Cheating.

Abuse - either emotional or physical.

I suspect that there is more behind your first post, marchandmay - is something wrong?

A lack of respect for me
Cheating
Abuse
Just realising we're not making each other happy anymore.

It would take a lot for me to leave my husband, but I happen to think these things are non-negotiable. Life is too short to waste being unhappy.

Refusal to communicate. My brain just can't comprehend how people put up with someone they can't talk through their problems with.

I stuck around for emotional abuse, rape, financial abuse, repeated cheating, sexism, bullying, gaslighting.

I left when he did a shit load of cocaine while looking after DD.

(My standards and self respect have imprisoned massively).

I genuinely wonder - LTB is thrown as a lot, and I suppose I'm pondering if push came to shove, if you actually would (general 'you', not specific!)

Cheating.
Abuse.

My husband and I split up because we just didn't love one another, we were fighting a lot and just not happy which ultimately meant our son wasn't happy. He is much happier now, we are good friends and he sees a positive relationship instead.

if it wasn't working for me, for whatever reason

I did. He was an abusive violent twat.

Cheating
Abuse of any kind

It would take a lot for me to leave my husband but these two are a definite no

Yup. Did that. Abuse, hostile atmosphere, easier possible to provide a positive environment without the ex.

Abuse,unfaithfulness,controlling behaviour,and prejudices or beliefs I found unacceptable.

leaving the toilet seat up and saying 'of' instead of 'have'

cheating or abuse

You don't need any reason, or excuse, other than you don't want to be in the relationship

Controlling behaviour.
Treading on eggshells.

Cheating in the end.

Emotional abuse wasn't enough.
Staying out all night drinking wasn't enough.
Having no respect for me wasn't enough.
Years of misery wasn't enough.

I could/should have left for a ton of reasons, but it was the cheating that finally made me walk out the door (and never look back).

Waking up and realising I didn't like him and didn't respect him.

Reading page 1 chapter 1 of 'should I stay or should I go' and recognising my marriage.

If I'm completely honest, I really don't know. I think that is my problem. My DH gets nasty during arguments. Minimises how I feel and turns it around to be about him. He wants everything his own way all of the time. However, he has agreed to councilling and I think this can be fixed. Since I've had our daughter my pil have slowly become more and more manipulative and this is causing a real problem because dh knows it but defends them. Although, this last time even he has had to admit they are completely wrong. They try and be over involved in our lives and use emotional blackmail and down right lie to get what they want. It's only recently that I've come to realise that these manipulative episodes aren't 'upsetting but kindly meant'. They are calculated manipulations of me to get to my DH and my daughter and have everything the way they want it. No wonder my DH has no idea how to empathise with other people when he has been emotionally manipulated all of his life. I'm hoping councilling helps him to see it for what it is. Wow, that was an epic rant. Thanks for the question, I feel better writing it down.

I really hope it all works out for you Loki

Being talked to aggressively or disrespectfully.

Him talking aggressively or disrespectfully to the dc.

Would. Not. Stand. For. It.

Cheating? It's not happened (in 25 years of marriage) because we both believe in fidelity. But I think I could get over it funnily enough.

Cheating. And then treating it all quite lightly. In the first few days, i would have done anything to repair the marriage, but after that i got really angry and told him not to come back. I am so much happier and healthier than i was when married to him, latterly at least.

I don't know, tbh, apart from the obvious things like abuse/violence.

Certainly not kissing another woman or a drunken one night stand. An affair-probably. But I couldn't say for definite on that one.

I wish it was what AnyFucker said. In the end it was a tiny thing which made something in me snap. Years of emotional abuse. So many tears and nervous stomach and stress and it was one comment that made my brain go hold on, who does he think he is, I won't be treated like this. Fucking knob.

I hope in the future it will be what AF said - for any reason I wish. Scrap that - not I hope, it will definitely be the case in the future. Can't go through utter shite again.

woo value yourself above all and it will