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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think I might be experiencing a bridezilla?

50 replies

tateandviolet · 30/01/2015 12:44

So I got an email last week about the hen do and was asked to confirm by February 14th.

No problem.

I've just got a text from the bride saying shes not heard back from me yet.

As far as I know nothing has changed, the venue are not demanding numbers sooner.

Aibu to think you shouldn't be demanding people rsvp if they still have two weeks until the deadline?

I feel like this is just the start.

OP posts:
InanimateCarbonRod · 30/01/2015 12:46

YANBU - back away slowly.

PuppyMonkey · 30/01/2015 12:47

Confirming by February 14 doesn't mean you have to wait until exactly February 14 before you reply.

Are you going or not? Just tell her if you know.

NickAngel · 30/01/2015 12:47

Maybe but maybe she's keen to know if people aren't going a little earlier in the month so she can invite her 'reserves'?
Depends on nature and cost or hen do and her expectations... I suspect you already know if she's going to go all Bridezilla on you.

FryOneFatManic · 30/01/2015 12:49

If she wanted people to reply earlier she should have set an earlier deadline.

Original poster
tateandviolet · 30/01/2015 12:49

Confirming by February 14 doesn't mean you have to wait until exactly February 14 before you reply.

I wasn't planning on waiting until the last moment.

But why give a date to confirm by in the first place?

OP posts:
Original poster
tateandviolet · 30/01/2015 12:50

Maybe but maybe she's keen to know if people aren't going a little earlier in the month so she can invite her 'reserves'?

Surely she'd have given an earlier deadline if that was the case?

OP posts:
PuppyMonkey · 30/01/2015 12:53

I don't know why she gave a date tbh. Probably so people don't leave her hanging on all year before getting back to her.

I don't know why you can't just give her your answer now either Grin - you have had since last week to think about it/make arrangements....

SuasSios · 30/01/2015 12:53

Could it be that she was checking you got the email, rather than needing a definite answer?

DeanKoontz · 30/01/2015 12:55

Have you replied at all?

I think if I'd invited you to something like that I would have expected you to respond by now just saying thanks for the invite and whether you are interested or not.

She probably wants to gauge interest levels.

UrchinMadeOfAcne · 30/01/2015 12:57

YABU and a negative vibe merchant Grin

Just tell her yes or no and be done with it.

Original poster
tateandviolet · 30/01/2015 12:59

you have had since last week to think about it/make arrangements....

Because I have a life, I'm busy. What she wants to do is expensive and I would have to pay straight away so no I'm not sure if I can afford it.

I personally wouldn't give people a date to reply by and then moan. I understand people have other priorities.

If it was a week before or a few days before then sure moan away.

OP posts:
engeika · 30/01/2015 13:00

when is the do

Original poster
tateandviolet · 30/01/2015 13:00

YABU and a negative vibe merchant

No I just don't appreciate waking up to a text demanding that I reply.

No hello or how are you.

OP posts:
PuppyMonkey · 30/01/2015 13:01

What she wants to do is expensive and I would have to pay straight away so no I'm not sure if I can afford it

Tell her this perhaps?

Stormingateacup · 30/01/2015 13:02

YANBU I got chased on a wedding RSVP before the reply date. It did rather pee me off.

parakeet · 30/01/2015 13:02

I call drip feeding!

Wantsunshine · 30/01/2015 13:02

Maybe you are the only one who hasn't responded yet so she thought she would check. You could be overthinking this.

engeika · 30/01/2015 13:07

You are probably the only one who hasn't replied and she wants to get costs etc finalised. I am sure she is also busy and has a million things to do and it is one thing she could cross off her list if you reply.
The problem with texts is by their very nature they are brief and lack context so easy to misunderstand the tone of.

I am sure if she had called she'd have done the whole "how are you/ I was just wondering/ it's just that I have to.... so... could you let me know by...)

AND - if you are going to her hen do presumably you are one of closer friends and therefore know she cares about you and you care about her????

UrchinMadeOfAcne · 30/01/2015 13:07

I am not sure why this has annoyed you so much.

Its no big deal.

You might be the last person to reply and she is just curious.

I hardly never start my texts with a "hello" or "how are you" to my friends. We usually just launch straight in without the need for small talk.

ShadowSpiral · 30/01/2015 13:11

YANBU.

If she's given people a reply date, she shouldn't be hassling people for a reply 2 weeks before the deadline she's set.

ExitPursuedByABear · 30/01/2015 13:13

YANBU

It will get worse.

Original poster
tateandviolet · 30/01/2015 13:15

Only on MN could it be considered polite to demand to know why someone hasn't replied before the deadline you've given them.

I suspect if the first few posts had agreed with me it would have set the tone differently.

I personally wouldn't send demanding texts before a deadline.

OP posts:
engeika · 30/01/2015 13:17

Give her a ring? Just say " Hi BrideFriend, how are you (etc). Sorry not sure if I am going to the hen do yet - can I let you know in Feb? Has everyone else replied? Etc etc)

Or you could waste ages on the internet asking people like me - also wasting hours on the internet because I don't want to face the cleaning!!

Purplepoodle · 30/01/2015 13:20

Perhaps your the only one who hasn't replied?

NotYouNaanBread · 30/01/2015 13:23

Oh for God's sake, just tell the woman if you're going or not. Does any question or action relating to a wedding event make a bride into a bridezilla?

You're looking for something (rather tenuous) to start a bridezilla thread about, I think.