Son's teacher gave me an article called: Ten Mistakes Modern Parents make, AIBU to be fuming?

[Plarail123]

We don't live in the UK but in a country where education is very competitive. My DS is 3 and a half and yesterday his pre school teacher called us in and gave us a huge lecture on parenting and discipline and gave me the article as a print out. I am fuming, I thought my son was doing fine at school and this teacher has only been teaching him since the beginning of this term. Am I right in thinking that this wouldn't happen in the UK? Also any advice on how to handle this would be appreciated. I am actually too embarrassed to take him to school now .

I would be incandescent. This is no way for an inexperienced teacher to behave.
I would be scouring the new for an article "Ten mistakes modern teachers make (especially novices)."

I am astonished at how much schools interfere these days. It begins with lunch boxes and now this ..............

Mmmm yes just read the article. Not sure about a house should be 'God centred' but overall it makes some valid points.

Mind you as a 70s kid I definatly know my childhood would have been regarded as borderline neglectful by today's standards but there were still helicopter parents around back then too. Plenty of them. It's not new.

Daft parenting has always been around.

Still need more info op. It's a bit of a drip feed now.

Why are 3 year olds being taught, why have they got teachers
If this had been one of mine, I'd have said goodbye rather sharply.
Kids should be playing until they start school, not being taught by teachers, its disgusting.

Cross out the word parents and ?rite teachers and then hand it back in.....

Hong Kong? If you aren't in the right primary school there then you're written off pretty much. Even at primary it is tough. There are yearly exams and all work/tests/exams come back numbered eg 12/30, which is where the child came in class. After school children all spend another two hours at a tutors, cramming.

Is Home Ed legal where you live?!

Maybe you are British and they are (American?) so you don't have their "values" and "should" embrace them because "obviously" you can't be as good a somebody brought up in their system of values, too "laid back" and "liberal"? I hate integration!!

YABU to think things should be done how they are in the UK if you are not living in the UK. Vive le difference!

Give her back a note of ten points on how do do decent research on educational psychology, none of which includes reading populist clap trash.

It could go something lie this:

1. Rely on evidence based theories.
2. Read studies in peer review journals
3. Adopt a critical stance towards what you read, evaluating the quality of each study before taking on board the results.
4. Cross reference different sources.
5. Critically apply theoretical conclusions to individual circumstances

And so on.

Are you in the USA? The reason I ask is because I spent a year at school there (a long time ago, in the 1980s) and this strikes me as really North American.

I went from a nice primary school to an American school where I was immediately classed as failing. They would send letters home to my parents telling me I was failing, call my parents in for meetings etc. my parents just laughed it off! But I hated it there with a passion because the school was way ahead of my English school and I just didn't fit in with their way of doing things. Probably because I was British. My very bright brother, aged 6 at the time, so three years younger, basically just had to write his name at school and was totally fine there. Obviously I was way older than your son but honestly, American education is very different.

Years later, I turned down the opportunity to do part of my degree at an American University and was one of the only people who didn't go because there was no way I was going back into the American education system.
And yes, I do seem to still have issues! Ignore the article completely is my advice. Laugh it off if you can.

I'd be fuming op. Your child is only three years old ffs.
The article! Bloody hell, can you imagine being stuck in a lift with someone who uses the phrase "Being mindful of their future has changed my parenting paradigm"! Also saying that children should be raised in a God-centred house, not a child-centred one so that they could be "loved in a better way". Oh dear. I think I'd struggle to take a teacher seriously who adhered to this kind of pop-psychology and struggle to deal with them at all if they expected me to!

I am not in America, I'm in Asia. Lucky me. I have just found out that my husband had a pre meeting with the teacher where a lot more was discussed that I wasn't even told about, by him or the school. I have a problem don't I? Thanks for the responses, I need to formulate a strategy of my own!

Agree with 'barbarianMum*

If you emigrate you have to integrate and assimilate especially if you have kids.

You have to change it's not up to try to change the country. You choose it so have to fit in.

Otherwise your ds will suffer.

That's the deal.

Your own DH has been meeting with the school without letting you know first? Do you think the school could be acting on something your DH told them. Well you are in a country where things are done very differently so what would be a course of action here might not be relevant there. Best you speak to your DH first and then the school. Seems like a lot is going on.

I stopped reading properly at Rather than kid-centered homes, we should strive for God-centered homes. FFS.

I actually agree with some of the article's points but I'd still be massively pissed off in your shoes. If the school want to tell you things about your child then they should stick to face to face and not do it vicariously by handing you a pompous pile of wank.

I'd be tempted to highlight this part: "Mistake #2: Judging other parents and their kids. No matter how much we disagree with someone's parenting style, it's not our place to judge." and hand it back to them before telling them to shove it up their arse--

You should read on MrsFlintLockwood- some of this shit is priceless! We shouldn't judge other parents because we're all "a community of sinners, dealing with different demons". Speak for yourself!

I'd be much more concerned about my dh meeting the teacher and discussing our ds without telling me that some fecking photocopied article tbh. What the hell was that about?

The message of the article (however misguided) seems completely different from the lecture the teacher gave you (about being more pushy).

Is your husband supporting you?

I'd be beyond fuming that my DH had discussed this.

Yes agree with the above sounds like your dh is undermining you to the school. That's more of a problem I think.

and of course it's everyone's bloody duty to judge other parenting styles if they involve hitting or emotional abuse.

Also the God at the centre of the house made me very uncomfortable.

I think your DH may be more a problem.
Does he come from the UK? Does he normally deal with the school or do you?

have you asked for advice on the overseas board? tbh most of our uk/usa centric advice wont be much use unless you are in a british/us school system
it is outrageous in the uk but it might be the norm there

I was done at 'God centred homes'