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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that DH will be fine with me going to The Burlesque Ball with a male friend

42 replies

polkadotsrock · 28/01/2015 23:19

I've just tentatively arranged to do this with a friend in April in a city halfway between where we live (8 hours apart). Only now it strikes me that my DH may object, especially as it'll be an overnight trip. Am I asking too much? He and my friend have met, he's joined us on a family outing, but they're not friends. I'm not sure if he'll be arsed but if he is would I be unreasonable to not want to change my plans?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 28/01/2015 23:20

How well do you think we all know your husband?

Original poster
polkadotsrock · 28/01/2015 23:25

Ha! True! He's away from home and I can't decide if it's worth bringing up or avoiding til he's home just in case but I take your point!

OP posts:
Salmotrutta · 28/01/2015 23:29

Do you dress up as burlesque types?

And Grin at Worra who wrote what I was thinking!

Are burlesque costumes quite risqué?

Bakeoffcakes · 28/01/2015 23:29

Are you meeting other people at the ball or is it jut you two?

AnyFucker · 28/01/2015 23:32

I don't think we can really answer this question for you

Original poster
polkadotsrock · 28/01/2015 23:38

I don't think I worded this well...
It's just the two of us. We fancied a meet up and something a bit different to do. I won't be 'dressing up' though. I just wondered if it looked bad I guess.

OP posts:
Blueblueblueblue · 28/01/2015 23:49

Apologies Polka but these types of threads drive me to distraction.

Talk to your husband, ask him what he thinks, make your decision to go or not accordingly.

It totally depends on the man. It also totally depends in whether him potentially objecting would stand in your way.

I could tell you what I would do and what my DH would say in the circumstances but this wouldn't help you at all.

GoddessWhoWalksEarthAsWoman · 28/01/2015 23:53

Are you shagging you friend?

Original poster
polkadotsrock · 28/01/2015 23:53

Sorry blue, I think I've inadvertently bugged everyone tonight. I shall think harder before posting, or text a friend, next time!

OP posts:
CuttedUpPear · 28/01/2015 23:53

This is my ideal thread.
AF and Worra in the same room.

ps Burlesque is shit

GoddessWhoWalksEarthAsWoman · 28/01/2015 23:53

... Your friend

Original poster
polkadotsrock · 28/01/2015 23:55

no Goddess

OP posts:
Finola1step · 28/01/2015 23:58

I like to turn these scenarios around. So OP, let me put this to you.. Your DH, his female friend, 4 hours away from home so a hotel stay, to attend a burlesque ball. Your thoughts?

Original poster
polkadotsrock · 29/01/2015 00:03

The only friends I can think he'd want to go with wouldn't bother me at all, they lived together at uni and he did have thing for one of them but they're lovely people. I just wanted to know if it seemed odd to others as it never occurred to me at the time that it would until I thought about the conversation when DH rings in the morning.

OP posts:
Finola1step · 29/01/2015 00:10

Meeting up with an old pal is not odd. Add in the hotel stay and a burlesque ball, that's odd.

Why a burlesque ball? Surely there are other events in that city on that night? I think it's an odd choice of event tbh.

Chillyegg · 29/01/2015 00:12

Yes YABU.

If it was the other way round and you were posting that your DH is going to stay away in a hotel with a female friend and go to a burlesque ball without you. And you only found out via a text or call whilst away on buisness!
I'd put money on that there'd be loads of people wading in with LTB he's cheating.
You may be the most genuine platonic best mates, but in my opinion yeah it does sound odd.

Topseyt · 29/01/2015 00:22

I think it sounds crazy. Perhaps the phrase "playing with fire" would spring to mind.

Only you know your husband and your relationship though.

HopelessFancyFeigned · 29/01/2015 00:25

I don't think he should object or has a right to object (and if it were vice versa nor should you)

Whether he will, I have no idea.

Naoko · 29/01/2015 00:29

My DP would be fine with it (and I wouldn't mind if he did this either). Yours may or may not be. As others have pointed out, none of us can answer that :)

For what it's worth, I don't think there's anything wrong with it and it's the kind of thing I might do, but I'm aware there's a lot of people who'd consider this not ok in their relationship.So for all that I think it's fine, and I'd be unhappy in a relationship where this wasn't fine, that may not be how you and your DH work (and that is totally ok because different things work for different people and everyone sets their own boundaries), so you should talk to him.

maras2 · 29/01/2015 05:20

WTF's a Burlesque Ball? Does everyone have to strip ' tastefully '?Sounds bogging.

rootypig · 29/01/2015 05:28

something different to do Confused

I'll go out on a limb and say YABU Grin Grin

rootypig · 29/01/2015 05:29

.......I base this on the opinion that burlesque is stripping with a fancy name.

AnyFucker · 29/01/2015 06:30

CuttedUpPear would you like Worra and I to wrestle for you ? Wink

AnyFucker · 29/01/2015 06:31

OK. I'll bite. If you were my friend I would think you were simply trying to be achingly cool. And failing miserably. Just my opinion though.

QueenTilly · 29/01/2015 07:01

My husband would...

...take me to the doctor's surgery for an investigation into whether the Bodysnatchers were actually real or whether I had a mere mid-life crisis if I wanted to go to a "burlesque ball". The male friend aspect might not even register in comparison.