To think that DH will be fine with me going to The Burlesque Ball with a male friend

[polkadotsrock]

I've just tentatively arranged to do this with a friend in April in a city halfway between where we live (8 hours apart). Only now it strikes me that my DH may object, especially as it'll be an overnight trip. Am I asking too much? He and my friend have met, he's joined us on a family outing, but they're not friends. I'm not sure if he'll be arsed but if he is would I be unreasonable to not want to change my plans?

Whose idea was it to go to the burlesque ball? His or yours? Could be a very easy way to end your marriage.

I think this is fine and I'd be fine with dp going to a ball with a female friend. People who have problems with stuff like this have no trust in their partner.

It's not a normal ball though, it's a burlesque ball which means the majority of women guests are wearing highly provocative clothing - designed to titillate & appeal. Burlesque Ball

Sounds very sleasy. Are you shagging this other guy?

There's a ball, and there's a burlesque ball. I'm not familiar with the men's version of burlesque

OP, you'd better link to the event and put us all out of our misery

What do the men wear?

Wouldn't be alright for my DH and I, or the other way round, but possessive works for us. Might be fine for you.

Would you be happy for him to be going to a Burlesque Ball with a female friend and then staying over night in a hotel?

i dont think my dp would be delighted with that set up, but youve likely got a different dp to me.

Will you be overnight in the same room?

Well not that that should really matter.

Your husband either trusts you or he doesn't.

We've just chatted and he's fine with it whilst simultaneously finding it a strange choice IYSWIM.
No attempt to be cool, not even sure why it would appear as such. Again I'm not having an affair with him and it would certainly be separate rooms. I've never actually been to one of these events so I'm not wholly sure of what it'll be like either but the tickets are cheap on groupon so if it's crap we'll likely just leave and hit the pubs instead.

Wow, lots of very snipey cows out today. What does it matter why the OP wants to go to a burlesque ball? Is it that inconceivable she might have different interests to you?

Jesus wept.

OP - Personally I think you need to speak to your husband about this. From the sounds of it, he doesn't really know your friend very well, and also - well, is there a reason why you don't actually want to go with your husband? In his place I would be very irritated that I didn't even warrant an invitation, especially to a big event (as this sounds like). Likewise, whilst he might be okay with the burlesque angle (especially since he presumably knows your interest in that), he might not be happy with you sharing a room with your friend.

I don't think that is "controlling" or he doesn't have a right to say he isn't happy with it. It's up to him to set down what behaviour he is and isn't comfortable with, and then for you to decide whether that unreasonably impacts on your quality of life. If it does, then you accept that there will be ramifications to your marriage if you go ahead. If it doesn't, then you decide whether what you want to do is more important than your marriage.

Is it that inconceivable she might have different interests to you?

rednails, that's the snipiest post on the thread. OP has come here to ask for opinions. Which she seems to be taking in good spirit

no idea op but have you seen the tax return thread?

Indeed I have Toby, could be worse eh? I could be giving him financial advice then eating a meal!! I confess I haven't read it all so it may not be that simple. That OP would explode if they were married to me I think!!

I just looked at the Burlesque Ball link that East provided!

So, OP if you don't dress like that for the ball will you be the only one not dressing up?

I can't decide if that is a pertinent question or not but I do know that I'd never have had the guts to dress like that!