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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be angry with my husband about this

44 replies

pinetree2203 · 27/01/2015 19:22

Hi husband has the man flu, yesterday and today he didnt go to work and I did. Am I being unreasonable here? He hasnt lifted a finger and yesterday when I came home he was on the sofa with the duvet on and watching telly. I think he watched telly all day yesterday. If I'm ever ill and dont go to work at least I pick my dirty socks from the floor!! agghh

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 27/01/2015 19:26

Depends on how ill he is really

What did you want him to do all day, apart from sock picking upping?

Hatespiders · 27/01/2015 19:26

I don't know, op, men seem sometimes to actually be weaker than women and need more rest when they're ill. My dh is a big strong chap, but when he's been poorly he really is in a state.
I think you're being a bit U. He might be feeling terrible and can hardly stand up.
When he's better, you can start cracking the whip once more Grin

NorwaySpruce · 27/01/2015 19:29

Well he can't have made much mess if he's glued to the sofa Grin

Seems unfair to expect a person too ill to work to do housework really.

TheReluctantCountess · 27/01/2015 19:31

If he's too ill for work, then he's too ill for housework.

Leontine · 27/01/2015 19:32

YABU

If he's ill, he's ill. I don't think it's fair to expect him to do any housework. So what if he watched TV all day - the more rest he gets the quicker he'll get better and be able to do housework!

PtolemysNeedle · 27/01/2015 19:32

If he's sick then he should act like he's sick, and that means no housework or doing anything other than sleeping, eating, reading or watching telly IMO.

That's what I tell my dc on the rare occasion they get a sick day off school, so I'd expect it to apply to the adults as well.

QueenBean · 27/01/2015 19:34

If he's ill he's ill, I wouldn't expect him to call in sick then spend the time doing the housework!

CalleighDoodle · 27/01/2015 19:37

I was ill at the weekend. Still have the tail end of it. I spent sunday led on the sofa watching tv. I only moved to wee. If you were my OH and had a go about me not moving id have been upset by your lack of care. Yabu

weegiemum · 27/01/2015 19:41

You A and AN BU.

he certainly shouldn't be doing all the housework if he's off sick.
But if he's well enough to drag a duvet downstairs and put on tv then he's well enough to pick up his socks. Eww. Even when you are ill, a reasonable amount of self-care is to be expected, I'd say.

Burke1 · 27/01/2015 19:42

Stop calling it the "man flu" as if men somehow contract a lesser version of the flu. It gives the impression that any time a man is ill he is faking it. Lying in bed or the sofa is about the only thing you CAN do when you have the flu.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 27/01/2015 19:50

If I am too ill for work then all I am good for is staying in bed resting.

YABU if you expect someone too sick to work to be bothering themselves with housework.

googoodolly · 27/01/2015 19:55

If I was off work sick, I would be extremely pissed off if DP decided I had to do housework. If you're too sick to be at work, you're too sick to be doing housework, imo. If you can do housework, then, as a general rule, you should be at work (barring something infectious).

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 27/01/2015 20:07

If he was out at work all day he wouldnt be able to crack on with the housework in that time anyways.

And if you literally are moaning about one pair of socks left askew, then YABVU.

CalicoBlue · 27/01/2015 20:13

If he has the flu he should be in bed sleeping. In my view if he can make it down to the sofa and watch tv, he is well enough to empty the dishwasher, put a wash on and tidy up after himself.

Though DH tells me that I have no empathy and get cross with him when he is sick.

BathtimeFunkster · 27/01/2015 20:14

The only good thing about being sick is that you get a reprieve from the constant finger lifting of normal life.

Alisvolatpropiis · 27/01/2015 20:16

Yabu

If he is ill then he is ill.

BathtimeFunkster · 27/01/2015 20:16

In my view if he can make it down to the sofa and watch tv, he is well enough to empty the dishwasher, put a wash on and tidy up after himself.

Walking down the stairs and switching on the television is nothing like as tiring as emptying the dishwasher or putting on a wash.

Confused

I would hate to live with someone who had "views" about what I should be doing when I was sick.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 27/01/2015 20:21

You sound pissed off that he actually took a day off while you still had to go to work.

If he's ill I don't see your gripe.

onedamnthingafteranother · 27/01/2015 20:21

men seem sometimes to actually be weaker than women and need more rest when they're ill. My dh is a big strong chap, but when he's been poorly he really is in a state.

Someone's actually bought that old chestnut, oh dear. Psst, he's on a nice one there.

TheFairyCaravan · 27/01/2015 20:21

I'm full of cold and felt like shit yesterday. I got up and dressed but only becuase the washing machine engineer was coming. I stayed on the sofa all day under a blanket MNetting and watching TV. I did nothing else other than chuck some sausages and oven chips in the oven for tea.

When DH came in he washed the pots, sent me to bed, brought me lemon and ginger tea and a hot water bottle!

If he had harped on about how little I had done, I'd have kicked him in the bollocks!

BathtimeFunkster · 27/01/2015 20:55

he certainly shouldn't be doing all the housework if he's off sick.

I love this line of argument.

I mean, really it would be dishonest to say you were unfit for work and then do other work.

Imagine if your boss came around with a bunch of grapes and a get well card and caught you with a pinny on and the Hoover out! Grin

Coumarin · 27/01/2015 21:00

Is this a reverse? Hmm

If not, YABVU. He's ill ffs. Of course he's on the sofa with a duvet. I bet you had a go at him about it too. Poor man.

ImBatDog · 27/01/2015 21:07

it depends on if he has ACTUAL flu, or just a cold.

if its real flu, yabu.

if its just a cold, then yes, he probably feels like shite, but could at least be doing a couple of pottering type things, like picking up after himself!

woodwaj · 27/01/2015 21:13

I would be like you and doing some jobs my oh would sit in front of the tv all day. I wouldn't be bothered about it though.

Topseyt · 27/01/2015 22:00

Let it go. It's only going to be for a few days if he is full of cold (rather than flu).

He is allowed to be ill occasionally, provided he doesn't take the piss, and I don't see you actually suggesting he is.

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