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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have gone right off Benedict Cumberbatch

529 replies

UsedToBeAPaxmanFan · 27/01/2015 04:22

I read today that Benedict Cumberbatch has had to apologise after using the phrase "coloured actors". Coloured? Seriously?

He did apologise and said that he knew it was wrong, but the fact that it was in his head in the first place is what's so troubling. I am older than him and have always known that "coloured" is an offensive term. Yes, I am aware that it wasn't considered so until the late 60s, but it hasn't been acceptable in his lifetime.

What was he not thinking?

OP posts:
Eltonjohnsflorist · 29/01/2015 13:47

Obese, not obsessed. Stupid phone

ghostinthecanvas · 29/01/2015 13:56

I have often thought that describing a person and not using skin colour is, in itself, rascist. Why deliberately avoid it? Skin is the largest organ on the body. If a white person is one in a group of coloured people surely you would say "Mark is the white guy over there"
This thread is an example of all the confusion felt. Points are lost in PC gone mad.
It is harder to get an acting job if you're not white. If you are female you are paid less than male.counterparts doing the same job. If you are over the age of 55 you are less likely to be hired. If you are under the age of 21 you are less likely to be hired. If you are overweight it will go against you in the job market. You will be judged on your accent/the way you speak in an interview. So it goes on. And on.
Responsibility starts at home and continues throughout education. Personally, I am horrified at the sexist attitude my teen has picked up and together we are working on it. His language when talking to his friends is breathtaking in its ignorance. I checked his texts and got him and a dictionary together. He looked up every motherfucking word and expression used. He wrote an essay on language and origin. We did this at home because the response from teachers was ' they all talk like that ' Truly shocking passivity.

Chocolateteacake · 29/01/2015 13:56

Oh no, you can't comment on peoples weight - that's a very big no-no... Its a hate crime (so I've been told recently).

I got a row for saying that she was the black lady.

"So who was it that served you, madam?" (and I really hate being called 'madam')
"Well it was a female member of staff at the counter in the middle...she had on a blue blazer with a blue shirt and a blue scarf...she had black hair...youngish...errr, a she is the back teller who works here"
"You can't say black! She's coloured..."

I had just come out of a meeting with people from a magazine called something like 'Black Hair and Beauty' (a trade mag aimed at black women in the hair and beauty industry). I was very confused at that point.

Eltonjohnsflorist · 29/01/2015 14:01

In the uk? A bank staff told you to use coloured not black? I can't quite believe that.

It's not offensive to ignore skin colour when describing someone (in the very rare cases it's even necessary Hmm) what would you do in a room of 20 black people and 20 white people when asked to point out Gary? It's not necessary to use colour is it, because there are so so many instances where it doesn't help

Chocolateteacake · 29/01/2015 14:03

This must've been about 15 years ago (a branch next to my office). I think she got herself confused and was very nippy with me.

BeautyQueenFromMars · 29/01/2015 15:01

Inthedarkaboutfashion

I'm 35, and I remember the word 'coloured' being acceptable in my teens, and the word 'black' deemed as highly offensive. I'm from the UK, as is he, and he's only 3 years older than me, so 'coloured' went from wrong to right to wrong again in his lifetime as well as mine.

Inthedarkaboutfashion · 29/01/2015 15:13

I am a couple of years older then you beautyqueen and it has never been acceptable in my lifetime. Maybe it has been unacceptable in some regions for longer than it has for others. I am not the on,up person on here in their thirties who has said it hasn't been acceptable in their lifetime so unless there is a regional difference do you have any other logical explanation?

Inthedarkaboutfashion · 29/01/2015 15:13

on,up = only.

fascicle · 29/01/2015 15:48

Tanith
It was 2 or 3 sides of A4 paper, fascicle. Another which stuck in my mind was that we couldn't use "suffering" as in "suffering from" an ailment because that was disrespectful to those who were genuinely suffering. I have to admit, they began to blur after the first half of the page - and most of the class started arguing over them anyway!

Surely nobody would confuse daft items on the list with terms that were widely understood to be inappropriate and likely to cause offense?

BeautyQueenFromMars
I'm 35, and I remember the word 'coloured' being acceptable in my teens, and the word 'black' deemed as highly offensive.

Like Inthedark, I have never understood 'coloured' to be an acceptable term and have never used it. However, quite a few posters have made the same point as you. So can I ask where your understanding came from that it was a preferable term?

StarsOfTrackAndField · 29/01/2015 15:56

I am 35 and in my time black has never been considered offensive. As a child I remember coloured being used by older white people who had limited contact with black people who thought it polite to skirt around the fact the person wasn't white, but never heard black people refer to themselves as 'coloured'

Tanith · 29/01/2015 16:02

Who is to say which ones cause offence and which are "daft"?

All were on the list; all given equal weight.

Tanith · 29/01/2015 16:05

Who is to say which ones cause offence and which are "daft"?

All were on the list; all given equal weight.

fascicle · 29/01/2015 16:33

Tanith
Who is to say which ones cause offence and which are "daft"?

Your critical faculties? The fact that some of the terms and advice was not only new information but odd? Cross referencing with other credible sources? Your own experience, perhaps? Researching anything you were unsure of to check etymology and usage?

Graciescotland · 29/01/2015 16:45

I'm 35 as well and was also told that the word black was offensive in my teens and we should use coloured. In my case it was the English teacher who told me, also that a blackboard was now a chalkboard. Not just me I hasten to add it was a school wide political correctness thing. The same happened at my friends school so it must of been from the LEA.

StarsOfTrackAndField · 29/01/2015 16:55

I'm 35 as well and was also told that the word black was offensive in my teens and we should use coloured.

By who though? I would guess it wasn't a black person. In growing up in a multiracial area ( English West Midlands) I have never heard a black person ask to be referred to as coloured or refer to themselves as coloured. I have heard plenty of older white people thinking they were being 'polite.' My guess is an older white person, doing the wrong thing for what they thought was the right reason.

Graciescotland · 29/01/2015 17:24

It was an older white person tbh our school was pretty much all white with a couple of asian girls who wouldn't of been referred to as black anyway so there really wasn't anyone to correct them. Not everywhere in the UK was that multicultural in the 80's and it's natural to assume that someone in authority is teaching you the correct thing.

UncleT · 29/01/2015 17:57

What a shame the substance of what he was saying has been completely ignored.

Cobain · 29/01/2015 18:15

Fear of not using correct language leads to a fear of speaking up. Is it better to just ignore injustices in case someone labels you. In Cumberbatch statement black would of been inappropriate as the issue is more widespread than black. People of colour was the best statement he could of used. Judge the sentiments not the words, I cannot remember the last time I had to describe the colour of someone skin that if I did have to suddenly I would probably become a nervous wreck.

Tanith · 29/01/2015 18:38

Fascicle, I'm not sure what your point is.
Are you saying the OU list we were given is daft and shouldn't have been issued? Or that we should only take notice of offensive words and phrases we already know? Or accept that people are going to take offence over words and phrases we don't already know and so avoid the ones we're told about, just in case?

Marylou2 · 29/01/2015 19:06

I think there's a danger here that the anxiety caused by the fear of saying the wrong thing will cause certain social groups to withdraw from those who are in anyway not white, able bodied or middle class. It's a PC minefield out there and it's getting in the way of inclusion when even the most well meaning of people are crucified in the media for a tiny slip. I

Eltonjohnsflorist · 29/01/2015 19:08

"Actors who are not white find it harder to win tv roles in the Uk"

Hmm not so hard

Cobain · 29/01/2015 19:16

People do find not white or non white offensive as stating something they are not instead of something that they are.

Eltonjohnsflorist · 29/01/2015 19:18

No they don't.

springalong · 29/01/2015 19:28

3littlefrogs - totally with your points. You nailed it!

I thought his apology was very quick to come and seemed very genuine.

whatmess · 29/01/2015 19:36

YABU, what matters is what he was saying. From what I read he was defending black actors and condemning the fact that there are not more opportunities for them. So what if he used the word coloured. People I know have used that word to me a few times. I have politely told them I'd rather be referred to as black but never taken offence as I knew none was meant.

It's sad that we are all so quick to condemn the guy over an obvious mistake. He is certainly no racist.