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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel furious

49 replies

Londonbug1 · 25/01/2015 22:58

Not sure whether I am just a horror or not. I feel sure that some of you will be able to set me straight!!
My very successful sister who I invited for dinner today because she only had today in between overseas business trips and I wanted to ease her load a bit announced that she is taking her daughter my niece to Las Vegas for her 21st birthday . They are flying business class using air miles that she has accrued over time.
Did my daughter and me want to come? It's all booked hotels trips ect so rather a late invite
She knows I could never afford to go.
I have taken care of her children ever since their father left so that she could have the high flying career she's got.
I feel so so stupid and upset.
To think it's all booked with no mention of anything. My daughter my niece and me get on very w ell, my niece has not been told yet about this surprise

OP posts:
AgentProvocateur · 25/01/2015 23:00

Is she offering to pay for you, maybe? That's what I'd take from the details youve given

tabulahrasa · 25/01/2015 23:01

I don't know, what about it has made you furious?

itiswhatitiswhatitis · 25/01/2015 23:02

Sorry I'm not sure what you are upset about Confused Not being mean just a bit confused by your post

Twitterqueen · 25/01/2015 23:03

I don't understand the problem. It's her daughter, her money, her surprise. Why do you feel stupid and upset? Can you not simply say "oh well obviously we'd love to, but I'm sure you understand that it's way beyond our means. I hope you have a fantastic time."

Why do you feel she needs to get your permission and approval to give her own daughter an amazing 21st?

IAmNotAPrincessIAmAKahleesi · 25/01/2015 23:03

What are you furious about?

Surely you don't think you should automatically be included in a holiday with her daughter or that she should pay for you?

wowfudge · 25/01/2015 23:03

Is she inviting you as in she is paying or inviting you along and you'll have to pay for yourselves?

Maybe your niece doesn't know, if it's a surprise, or was asked not to mention it until your DSis had had the chance to speak with you?

FWIW there is so much competition between hotels in Vegas you can often bag a bargain - a suite for the price of a Premier Inn room here - and it is one of the cheaper US destinations to fly to.

Only1scoop · 25/01/2015 23:04

What are you furious about?

Them going?
Her inviting you?

Confused
arethereanyleftatall · 25/01/2015 23:04

It's not clear from your post what you are upset about- not telling you up front, but telling you now? When should she have told you?

sooperdooper · 25/01/2015 23:04

How late an invite, you haven't said when the trip is? Does she mean that she's paying? If you can't afford it then say thanks for the invite but no, not sure what's made you so angry?

CleanLinesSharpEdges · 25/01/2015 23:04

Have you missed a huge chunk of info from your OP, or have I, because I'm really not seeing what you have to be furious about?

magpieginglebells · 25/01/2015 23:05

What are you furious about? That your sister's taking your niece, she has invited you and is paying do invited you if you can pay? It's not clear.

nocabbageinmyeye · 25/01/2015 23:06

I have taken care of her children ever since their father left so that she could have the high flying career she's got. - not sure what this has got to do with it? YABU, you sounds jealous actually

Pancakeflipper · 25/01/2015 23:06

Why are you furious? from your description it sounds like the only way she can show love or impress to her child how much she loves her is to do massive treats. I am sure at 21yrs old your niece can suss that.

Cannot work out from the post if paying for you or not.

Fanfeckintastic · 25/01/2015 23:06

I'm confused too?

AmIthatHot · 25/01/2015 23:06

I'm another one who's confused about why you're furious

NormHonal · 25/01/2015 23:06

I'm afraid this is one of those situations where you need to be grown-up, swallow your upset, and be pleased for your DNiece that she is going to have this amazing 21st birthday surprise.

I would, however, make it VERY clear to your DSis that you can't afford it. Who knows, she may find a way to include you somehow? You never know!

(And do her no more favours, unless it makes you happy to do so.)

CrapBag · 25/01/2015 23:06

I'm confused too. I thought she was offering to take you?

Not sure where the fury comes from even if she wasn't offering to pay. She has money and wants to do a nice thing for her own child's 21st. That is absolutely her right. That has nothing to do with you minding her children. You sound bitter and resentful of her success.

simpson · 25/01/2015 23:07

Has she offered to pay?? Confused

Tinkerball · 25/01/2015 23:08

Your furious she's asked you to go with her on holiday?Confused

Fanfeckintastic · 25/01/2015 23:08

Where do you get that conclusion about her sister from Pancake?Confused

nocabbageinmyeye · 25/01/2015 23:10

from your description it sounds like the only way she can show love or impress to her child how much she loves her is to do massive treats. I am sure at 21yrs old your niece can suss that. - Seriously pancakeflipper?? Shock how the hell did you get that from the op??

LadyLuck10 · 25/01/2015 23:11

Pancake what utter nonsense.

PoppySausage · 25/01/2015 23:12

Op, are you saying she is rubbing your nose in it with the career and lifestyle you helped her achieve by having her daughter for her, then being insensitive on top by asking if you can go?

Pancakeflipper · 25/01/2015 23:13

Fan and Lady, cos I have drunk too much wine and its Sunday night which is jolly bad news. Apologies wasn't out to shut stir or upset anyone.

Rainicorn · 25/01/2015 23:16

Eh?

Are you upset because you can't afford it?
Upset because she could have used her air miles to fly you all there because you've helped her with childcare?
Upset because she has booked and paid for you all but not consulted you?

Your op isn't clear.

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