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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel furious

49 replies

Londonbug1 · 25/01/2015 22:58

Not sure whether I am just a horror or not. I feel sure that some of you will be able to set me straight!!
My very successful sister who I invited for dinner today because she only had today in between overseas business trips and I wanted to ease her load a bit announced that she is taking her daughter my niece to Las Vegas for her 21st birthday . They are flying business class using air miles that she has accrued over time.
Did my daughter and me want to come? It's all booked hotels trips ect so rather a late invite
She knows I could never afford to go.
I have taken care of her children ever since their father left so that she could have the high flying career she's got.
I feel so so stupid and upset.
To think it's all booked with no mention of anything. My daughter my niece and me get on very w ell, my niece has not been told yet about this surprise

OP posts:

lunar1 · 25/01/2015 23:17

Is she offering to pay for your dd?

MrsTawdry · 25/01/2015 23:18

I think OP's upset because the sister didn't pay for her and her DD...OP says she's taken care of her sister's child "so she could have a high flying career"

Either way op YABU.

Original poster

Londonbug1 · 25/01/2015 23:18

Sorry I did just blurt out my feelings without any explanation.
I really do not want to go into the whys and wherefores as I need to get some sleep before tomorrow .
I think most of you are right I'm probably just jealous.

OP posts:

LoofahVanDross · 25/01/2015 23:19

Well before you go, did she invite you and dd and pay for you?

DeeCayed · 25/01/2015 23:20

We're you expecting her to pay because you've been used as free childcare when her dh left?

So now you're pissed off because not only is she not paying she's already booked it then asked you as an after thought even though she knows you can't afford it?

DancingDinosaur · 25/01/2015 23:24

Tomorrows another day op. Hopefully you'll feel differently then.

wowfudge · 25/01/2015 23:29

I don't think the OP has read the same thread I have:

I think most of you are right I'm probably just jealous

Er no, most of us are confused as to why you are furious! Only one or maybe two people suggested you might be envious of her.

wheresthelight · 25/01/2015 23:30

i don't understand why you are upset unless she has booked it and paid for it and is now wanting money from you?

you need to explain

JakeShit · 25/01/2015 23:34

I'm

Original poster

Londonbug1 · 25/01/2015 23:36

Free chid care does not even begin to cover it tbh.but as I said too late now to detail all that.
I think I am jealous as I have always included them in my own children's and my significant birthdays ect so feel upset that not even discussed prior to booking. But then again as has been pointed out that really is up to her what she chooses to do to celebrate her daughters birthday.
There is no question of her paying and I truly wouldn't expect her to.
Thanks to all of you - just what was required a reality check .

OP posts:

magpieginglebells · 25/01/2015 23:37

Have people said you're jealous OP? I think most just want clarification of why you're annoyed.

Only1scoop · 25/01/2015 23:44

So she's used her airmiles on the trip....asked you if you want to join them? I'm thinking you were expecting her to offer to pay or have included you in some way?

Some jealousy there perhaps yes. Do you expect her to feel indebted to you for all the help you have given her?

Or are you just shocked that she's not mentioned it and just booked?

Original poster

Londonbug1 · 25/01/2015 23:53

Yes I cannot understand why she would not have mentioned it.
It is all booked flights hotel, grande canyon trip, elton john concert the lot so not a spur of the moment thing.
I think if she'd said she wanted to do something special just the two them I would have understood.
Perhaps I don't make it easy who knows?

OP posts:

Only1scoop · 25/01/2015 23:56

If you are normally close then yes it does seem strange not to have mentioned her plans.

Misspickle1 · 26/01/2015 00:04

must be getting late as I can't make bloody head nor tail of this one.

I wouldn't worry about it op. Let it goooooo let it goooooo
Bloody song.

SomethingOnce · 26/01/2015 01:02

Elton John?!

Sounds like a trip worth missing, tbh.

JakeShit · 26/01/2015 01:09

I've still not got a clue what the OP is upset about.

invisiblecrown · 26/01/2015 01:27

Oh get over yourself, OP. Mother takes her daughter on holiday.

This has nothing to do with you.

recall · 26/01/2015 01:49

somethingOnce

CiderwithBuda · 26/01/2015 02:25

Is it that she didn't tell you she was even thinking of it? That does seem odd but maybe she felt awkward? It's a big expensive trip and maybe she felt a bit guilty she couldn't include you.

It sounds like a fab trip and something really special for your niece's 21st. Although to be honest I hated Vegas!

I'm sure you can all do something else as a family to celebrate her birthday too.

magpieginglebells · 26/01/2015 02:53

OP. I think you need to think rationally about this. She booked her and her daughter a holiday. That is all. Is it worth being furious over?

SnowWhiteAteTheApple · 26/01/2015 09:06

If she is going to be 21 presumably its been a fair few years since she's needed childcare so what's that got to do with a holiday invite I'm not sure. Even if you did provide childcare as a child as home anyway, you can't seriously credit yourself with her career.

It sounds a lovely trip and she invited you. It's not a summons but just an invite. Upto you if you say yes or no. Not exactly sure what there is to be furious about.

arethereanyleftatall · 26/01/2015 09:06

As you can't afford to go anyway, why does it matter at which point you were informed of it?

wowfudge · 26/01/2015 10:54

If you can't afford to go, although you would have liked to have gone, why not tell your DSis exactly that? She will either clarify she intends to pay for you or may offer to pay for you if she has the funds. But don't get chippy when you and your DD are in economy seats on the plane.

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