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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To of dumped new neighbors rubbish are their back gate?

88 replies

Homepride1 · 25/01/2015 21:21

So running along the side of my house is a small walkway that is a dead end as it's my back gate and garden, along this walk way 2 other houses on the main village road also have back gate access leading onto this walkway!

I have a large drive and keep my own bins/recycle boxes on my drive at the start of this walkway!

Yeasterday new people moving in and lots of activity up and down walkway! I was in kitchen and saw the new people put a sack of rubbish in my bin.... Little miffed as I have plenty of my own rubbish but thought hey oh not the end of the world!

Today I pop out in car for max 15 mind to drop dd at party and come home to find my bin so full that the lid is open and cardboard boxes (labeled lounge/kitchen etc) just thrown on top of my recycling, checked the boxes in the bin and it's for a patio set and gazebo, quick look out of upstairs window and guess what the new neighbors had in there garden

I removed the rubbish and put it all piled up at there back gate and have removed my bins into my back garden!

had it of only been the odd bag I wouldn't have cared but to fill the bin up when it's over a week until c

OP posts:

Iveabsolutelynofekkingideadoi · 25/01/2015 22:17

Take no prisoners OP! I like your style.

waithorse · 25/01/2015 22:29

UANBU, but good luck with your new neighbors.

waithorse · 25/01/2015 22:30

YANBU and neighbours, I'm not American.

unlucky83 · 25/01/2015 22:48

I'm with you OP - YANBU - might have been good to tell them where there bin is etc - as if it had been a misunderstanding (even if you are pretty sure it wasn't...) Also tell them the bin men won't empty it if over full.

Be aware on collection day they don't try and put stuff in yours anyway...fine if there is room but not if it means the lid won't close and it doesn't get emptied.

We have to put our bins on the main road for emptying (we are off the road) and if the recycling bins are 'contaminated' they won't empty them. Also on collection day the bins have to be out by 6am but they might not be collected till 9pm -sometimes it gets to the next day.
I've seen several bins not emptied and 'tagged' as containing the wrong items when it is obvious someone walking past has thrown eg a drinks can into someone's paper bin. So far it hasn't happened to me - was close once - when I was checking whether it had been emptied when I got home I found a Greggs carrier bag with drinks bottle, sandwich container etc in my paper bin (and we are 7 miles away from the nearest Greggs )

sliceofsoup · 25/01/2015 22:56

YANBU.

Load of nonsense about having to be welcoming. Do we all need a red carpet every time we move into a new house? Filling someone else's bin is really bad form.

APedantWrites · 25/01/2015 23:05

To have dumped?

JoffreyBaratheon · 25/01/2015 23:35

YANBU. I think if I just moved in to a place even if the bins weren't marked - especially if they weren't - I'd only put stuff in a totally empty bin - it's obvious it's someone else's. They sound like selfish dicks. Saw my neighbour (no longer 'new' but have been here 18 months and are loathed by everyone for their antics) rooting through my bin on bin day - when it was in my front garden and he had to walk past his own and out of his garden into mine to do so. I was so shocked I didn't know how to react. Now I'm putting an A4 piece of paper at the top of my bin with "F*&! off you bald, ugly weirdo!" and hope to see him doing it again so I can film it and send to the council. Nutjob.

PacificDogwood · 25/01/2015 23:38

Pedant got there first: to have dumped.

And yes, YABU.
Not to be upset about them using your bin, but how you went about resolving the situation.

Greymalkin · 25/01/2015 23:52

When we moved your current house we put our bins out on collection day next to a neighbours ones. We did this for a few weeks .

Then one day we got a snotty letter from the council telling us we had to place our bins at the front of the house (rather than the back, where they had been). It was clear the neighbours had made an official complaint about us.

We felt it was a terrible way to fix a very simple issue and why didn't the neighbour use it as a reason to pop round say hello and explain? We don't speak at all now, it's just too awkward!

Maybe you could nip over to them and explain your concerns as well as breaking the ice ?

evelynj · 26/01/2015 00:02

Greymalkin-why would neighbours complain & why is it an issue? Surely it's more efficient for the bin men?

Pagwatch · 26/01/2015 06:44

You have ensured that you will now have a totally shit relationship with your neighbours who will assume, rightly or wrongly, that you are aggressive and confrontational. You have also guaranteed that you will never be able to ask them for a favour so you have possibly shafted yourself.
So not the brightest thing to do really.

twofingerstoGideon · 26/01/2015 06:53

Do people not talk to each other any more, eg:
'Hi, I live next door. Welcome to your new home. (you could try smiling at this point) By the way, the bins out back are mine and as the rubbish isn't collected that frequently I thought I'd let you know that your own are in the front garden, just in case you'd missed them.'
You could even offer them a cup of tea.
It's called friendliness, by the way, is nothing to do with 'red carpets' and does not place you under any obligation to be Best Friends Forever with them.
I agree with Pagwatch - your response was aggressive and confrontational given that you hadn't even bothered to acknowledge them up to that point.

Zame · 26/01/2015 06:53

Yanbu, how rude and inconsiderate of them.
All they need to do is go to the skip, not a great way to get to know your new neighbours

TheMaddHugger · 26/01/2015 07:02

Awwwwww Come on Folk, they Know Op's bins aren't their own. They were taking the Piss

DeliciousMonster · 26/01/2015 07:02

You think it is ok to put stuff in new neighbours bin if you are incoming, but aggressive and confrontational to hoof it back if you already live there?

The OP is right to stand up for herself and not be a meek walkover.

TidyDancer · 26/01/2015 07:09

Technically what they have done is fly tipping so you weren't wrong to do what you did. I do think you could've been more polite about it though, if for nothing more than the sake of future neighbourly relations. You can still rescue this if you pop round today explaining. They will probably want to 'make nice' as well. I agree they most likely knew exactly what they were doing though.

Pagwatch · 26/01/2015 07:13

Did I say what they did was right?

Of course they shouldn't have done it but by responding the way she did there was no way to salvage anything.

And I wish people would stop pretending that sneaking up to dump rubbish on their doorstep was ballsy. Writing notes, doing stuff when no one is around isn't brave. It's what people do when they don't have it in them to handle a face to face conversation.
If the op had said 'I immediately went around there and asked them what on earth they were doing' that would have been both brave and had the potential to stop the situation deteriorating.

wowfudge · 26/01/2015 07:22

Agree with Pagwatch. Yes the new neighbours were out of order, but why not go round and tell them they have been putting their rubbish in the wrong bin? Even if you think they are being cheeky and know full well which bin is whose, it's the best thing to do.

Writing notes, etc is not helpful in these circumstances.

sebsmummy1 · 26/01/2015 07:24

Or equally by marching around to your neighbours house to tell them
why you hoofed their rubbish out into their front garden, you have the potential for a bloody big row which is why people tend to write notes and svoid direct confrontation.

bigbluestars · 26/01/2015 07:35

"To of" ????

Misspickle1 · 26/01/2015 07:37

Note writing winds me right up.
I'd have knocked and said hello and welcome now get your shit out of my bin.

burgatroyd · 26/01/2015 07:40

THEY are being unreasonable!

Whereisegg · 26/01/2015 08:13

My neighbours frequently fill my bin with their stuff.
We rarely fill our non-recycling one so tbh, the odd bag doesn't bother me too much but I do get ragey when they top it up with recycling or fill ot the day it's emptied.
I just take the bag out and leave it next to their (numbered) bin though as we never seem to see them.
It's definitely them, as they use pink bin bags.

As for your new neighbours, I would have told them when collection day was and for that reason you would need your bin yourself.
Perhaps they thought it was going to be collected the next day?

ilovesooty · 26/01/2015 08:22

I agree with Pagwatch
The OP is full of righteous indignation and exclamation marks. ^My new neighbours are so shitty! They put their rubbish in my bin! I took it out!* etc.
Right near the beginning of the thread it was suggested she popped over and told them, cheerfully and politely why the rubbish had been returned to them which would have given the message that the OP expected use of her own bin.
But no, people seem to think that just returning it without even speaking to the neighbours is "standing up for yourself". It isn't and will very likely have worse end results than going round and addressing the issue.

FamilyAdventure · 26/01/2015 08:28

I can't believe anyone thinks OP would be at all reasonable in her proposed action. Of course new neighbours shouldn't have done what they've done but why on earth would you want to be so rude and unhelpful to someone on their first day in a new house. Especially when that house is next door to you and you're likely to be neighbours for years to come.

Surely the only thing to do is pop round (with cake) welcome them to the neighbourhood, offer to take what rubbish you can to help them out, tell them what they need to co about collection days etc and explain the bins won't be collected if they don't close.

They've done something they shouldn't have but there's no reason for you to ruin any possibility of a decent relationship with your new neighbours without even trying.

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