Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To recline my seat on a long haul flight?

427 replies

PiratePanda · 25/01/2015 20:26

Just thought I'd check I was not BU.

Long haul flight in economy, 9 hours, overnight. I had my seat up for take off and landing and for meals but for the rest of the flight I wanted and needed to sleep (travelling for work) so reclined my seat.

The woman sitting behind me made an enormous fuss about me reclining my seat at all, complaining rudely to me when I reclined it, tutting and sighing loudly whenever she got up to go to the loo, kneeing me in the back apparently with intent, and hitting me quite hard and insistently on the head and shaking the chair to make me wake up in the morning well before the breakfast came round.

IWNBU was I? You are entitled to recline your seat except for take off and landing and meals, no? Otherwise why provide a recline button?

God she was rude.

OP posts:
PtolemysNeedle · 27/01/2015 19:18

I don't think it's a matter of feeling more important than anyone else, it's a matter of having (at the time) special needs that meant I was physically not able to sit behind someone reclining, much like the person or persons upthread who absolutely needed to recline because of back problems.

If you aren't able to be in a plane being used the way it was designed to be used, then don't be on the plane. It's really that simple.

You can't get on a flight knowing 100% that you physically cannot have someone recline their seat in front of you and then expect a complete stranger to accommodate you. Either pay for an extra seat and pre book two spaces, or don't fly. But don't expect other people to make themselves uncomfortable because you made a choice to fly at the same time as knowing that there's a high chance there will be someone sitting in front of you that might want to use the seat they paid for the way it was designed to be used. It's selfish.

MidniteScribbler · 27/01/2015 19:30

You would really insist on reclining your seat on a short haul flight, even knowing that there is a heavily pregnant woman behind you who will be pinned in her seat just so you can have a couple of degrees extra angle to rest your previous head? Wow, that just takes selfish entitlement to a whole new level. 'Fuck the rest of the world, I must recline. Steward! Bring me my grapes and fan.'

lljkk · 27/01/2015 20:03

Weird all this angst about recliners. They don't bother me at all (I'm 5'8", too short?).
But rummagers, folk behind me constantly poking into my back while they rummage in their setback pocket, they drive me batty.

lurkerspeaks · 27/01/2015 20:08

I've flown long haul a fair bit - less so in recent years but I'm still doing a fair bit of short haul (got on a BA flight recently and the cabin crew commented they hadn't seen me for a while…. Blush)

Anyway I generally recline on night flights (not during meals). Never on short haul day flights and on long haul day flights it is very flight dependent. If you are on a day flight which follows a night flight eg. I did LHR - Singapore - Auckland the Singapore to Auckland bit was a day flight but I was totally wrecked after the night flight and have NEVER been so pleased to discover the plane was half empty so I got a row of seats to myself.

I'm desperate for a magic upgrade but despite my loyalty to BA and the Exec club it hasn't happened yet…

PtolemysNeedle · 27/01/2015 20:08

On a short haul flight, no I probably wouldn't.

But with a long haul flight and an inability to sleep completely upright, then I might.

And the cries of 'Fuck the rest of the world, I'm pregnant and I must fly! would be wasted on me.

leedy · 27/01/2015 22:59

As I said, the incident in question was on a short haul flight. Flying long haul I did try to make sure there wasn't going to be anyone in front of me, and if I hadn't managed to sort it, I'd have asked to be moved (LIKE SOME CRAZY PREGNANT DIVA) if someone had reclined onto me and refused to budge.

And I was flying for business, so it wasn't "hoorah, I am off to insist on flying to get my jollies - I MUST FLY, preferably so I can really piss off people by being a big entitled pregnant fatarse who really shouldn't be allowed on a plane if she can't take being sat on", more "I need to fly to do my job that pays the mortgage". Fun.

FWIW the one time I've ended up moving due to reclining shenanigans was when flying with my very tall partner behind a man who slammed his seat into his knees even before takeoff and then refused to either not recline or move. Strangely enough the cabin crew were a lot more sympathetic to us than to Mr "I've Paid For This Seat I'm Entitled To Recline It Whenever I Like, They Can't Put People Like That Behind Normal People, His Knees Are Hurting Me, Move The Freak". We got free drinks and a bulkhead row. I presume he got the satisfaction of Using His God-Given Seat Like It Was Designed To Be Used, I'm Entitled, You Know while half the plane rolled their eyes at him.

DamnBamboo · 27/01/2015 23:02

I recline my seat whenever I want, except at meal times when it is raised.
I do not see this as being rude at all.

wanttosqueezeyou · 27/01/2015 23:12

Having thought about it all day (must get out more) I do think that for flying long haul, if you are aware that you can't fit in the seat (tall/fat/pregnant) you need to buy 2 seats/ go business/ not go.

It's just not on to imagine that everyone will cater to your needs.

I have no problem giving someone my seat on the bus (anyone, don't have to be pregnant) or frankly getting off the bus if things are really bad.

But trapped upright on a flight for 14 hours at great expense. Just no.

Clearly if you have a disability its totally different.

The problem I have with the recliner you describe leedy is that it was before takeoff. Was this recent? I've seen cabin crew be politely adamant that the seat back must be up for take off and landing. Which is fair enough. I'm surprised they didn't use the eject button for him.

wanttosqueezeyou · 27/01/2015 23:12

DamnBamboo it isn't except on mumsnet

Catsize · 28/01/2015 07:20

It is. Unless you think doing what you want to the detriment of others is okay.

Catsize · 28/01/2015 07:23

Should clarify, it isn't the reclining per se, but the not asking first.

Lilmissconcerned · 28/01/2015 07:45

Forget the recliners... It's the people with toddlers behind on knees that kick your chair the whole time. If you ask me the parents taking their dc's on a 12 hour flight are being unreasonable(and really mean) as are the airline for not giving toddlers their own seats

YonicScrewdriver · 28/01/2015 07:59

Lilmiss, it is possible to buy a seat for a toddler - the airline is not being mean not giving them one.

I don't think buying two seats helps if you are pregnant as you are big forwards not sideways (and I'm not sure it's that easy to do anyway - it's certainly a special request and it sounds like Leedy had a last minute need to travel)

Igneococcus · 28/01/2015 08:39

What do people who think toddlers shouldn't be on a plane suggest those of us with family in other parts of the world do? If I wouldn't have flown with my children while they were toddlers neither of them would ever have met their grandfather, and no, it wasn't an option for him to come and see us due to health issue.

PtolemysNeedle · 28/01/2015 08:43

If you have to take a toddler on a plane then buy them their own seat and prevent them from kicking or pulling on the chair in front of them. It's not much to ask!

Igneococcus · 28/01/2015 08:50

I have always managed to prevent my children from kicking the seat in front of them without buying them an extra seat. I travel an awful lot for work and in my experience most parents work very hard to ensure their children cause as little nuisance on a plane as possible, I'm sure there are exceptions but the majority is considerate. There are lots of grown-up travellers which are bloody annoying but nobody is suggesting they stay at home.

Sparklingbrook · 28/01/2015 08:55

How does this all work on coaches? National Express/Greyhound etc? Hours on end on a coach-do they have reclining seats?

Pumpkinette · 28/01/2015 09:11

Not read all the replies as 16 pages long but I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. It was a long haul flight and you wanted to sleep then of course you should recline your seat. They recline for a reason.

If the woman was so bothered about leg room she could have booked a seat with extra legroom, chosen a seat at the front of the plane, or chosen one of the emergency exit seats as they always have more room. She chose a standard economy seat and part of that is crappy leg room. Come to think of it I've never been annoyed if someone in front reclines their seat. It's just part of the deal when you are flying economy.

leedy · 28/01/2015 09:24

"

GraysAnalogy · 28/01/2015 09:40

It's not just a mumsnet thing. Ive seen this on Reddit, buzz feed, Tumblr...

MidniteScribbler · 28/01/2015 09:45

If you have to take a toddler on a plane then buy them their own seat and prevent them from kicking or pulling on the chair in front of them. It's not much to ask!

I purchased an extra seat for DS when he started flying. But the requirement for him to sit on my lap for take off and landing (and when the seatbelt sign was on) was standard until he passed his 2nd birthday. He had to sit on my lap during certain times of the flight.

But you know what, if you want to act like an arse and play games about your precious seat and a few extra degrees of angles in your chair, then I'm not really going to care about DS kicking your seat. And since I have a health condition relating to my spine, then if you throw your chair back, then I'm going to have to use the back of it in order to be able to get up and use the facilities.

PossumPoo · 28/01/2015 10:08

Midnite the irony of your post...

PtolemysNeedle · 28/01/2015 10:10

It is not acting like an arse to want to recline a seat that is designed to recline.

It is acting like an arse to allow your small child to annoy or disturb anyone else. Shouldn't be an issue during take off or landing when a child has to be on a lap, because seats should be upright then anyway, so regardless of whether the person in front reclines when it is allowed, you still have to stop a child from kicking when they have to be on a lap.

This thing about flinging/throwing seats back. Do people really have that much choice over the mechanics of the seat they get? Sometimes the things need a shove or they won't move at all. Obviously people should check being them before giving their seat a shove, but ime, you really don't know how your seat is going to react when you try and recline it gently.

MrsTawdry · 28/01/2015 10:13

Ptolemy it's arsey if the rest of the plane is awake, reading, watching films etc because it's not time to sleep! That's arsey. On long haul flights the lights go out when it's time to sleep. That's when you recline.

MidniteScribbler · 28/01/2015 10:15

There's no real irony. I decided a couple of years ago that I would only travel business class because it seemed a much easier way to fly. So I guess I'm not annoying anyone anymore about my preference to not have someone's seat back flung back in my face.

BUT, here's some irony:

"I'm going to recline my seat back as far as possible so you can't move, but don't you dare use the back of my seat to move and go to the bathroom".

You put your seat back, then I'm going to have to use the back of your seat at some point when I need to pee.