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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not like people just dropping in?

60 replies

Grumpygussetthatsme · 25/01/2015 15:57

I mean I probably am but in this technological age it isn't difficult to send some sort of message, wait for a reply,or pick up the phone, and if it's 'yes that suits' then come on round? People always seem to 'drop by' when I would least like visitors and often even if they text etc they do it a few minutes before they arrive and don't wait for a reply.It drives me barmy!!
Aside from emergencies obviously.

OP posts:
GreatSoprendo · 25/01/2015 20:17

I hate unplanned visitors. I never answer my door unless I'm expecting someone. I rarely answer the phone either.
I am however probably abnormally anti-social, and am trying to drag myself out of it as I don't want my DC's to be like me!
Probably you and I are both BU.

StayGoldPonyBoy · 25/01/2015 20:22

I hate it. I've been taught to hate it since moving out into my first flat with now DH and his parents constantly 'dropping by' and getting pissy if we didn't entertain them or had other plans. I asked them to call and then they'd call from the car saying they'd be there in ten minutes. We would also get phone calls whilst out asking where we were because they were outside the house! I would put up with it at first being 18 and petrified of them, but now I keep my door locked and don't answer unless I get a phone call in good time, or if I'm busy I just say no.

SocialMediaAddict · 25/01/2015 20:51

I'm the most sociable person but I HATE people dropping in.

Mulligrubs · 25/01/2015 21:08

I hate it as well. My FIL does turn up now and again. Once he turned up while we were out and he moaned about it! He lives 45 minutes away so you think he'd bloody check if we were in first before he travelled all that way. It is actually one of the reasons I intensely dislike my FIL to be honest.

If people just show up I find it extremely hard to even be nice to them. It sounds awful but if I'm not mentally prepared for visitors I get in an awful mood and i find it very hard to try and mask it

Albaba · 25/01/2015 21:26

Hate it! I work all week and weekends are manic with trying to entertain two toddlers and the hundreds of jobs I seem to have around the house. As others have said if I know people are coming I can tidy up and mentally prepare for them rather than being flustered because the house is a mess, I'm a mess and the kids are going mad!

Yesterday was a prime example. I literally hadn't stopped all day. Got back late from doing weekly shop. Was trying to get all the shopping put away and make a start on the dinner and the kids were going mad because they were hungry. The doorbell goes and it is bil who proceeds to plonk himself down have coffee and biscuits and shows no intention of going home even though it is chaos. He couldn't have picked a more inconvenient time if he tried but he seemed to be completely oblivious to it all!

CinammonGirl · 25/01/2015 21:39

I really hate anyone just dropping in. My family has never done this so I am not used to it. My mil used to do this all the time, pre and post dd arriving. I was at home with a new baby who had reflux and was usually in pjs with sick in my hair and just didn't want to entertain anyone. She especially used to drop in around the time we were either just putting dd to bed or just about to eat once she had gone to bed. In the end I just didn't answer the door one day and she has since stopped dropping in by without notice. She must have known I was there and I felt awful but the message got through! I do love her though!

squoosh · 25/01/2015 21:48

I try to keep my home within 10 mins tidying of being visitor ready. So text me 10 mins in advance please! Oh, and bring some biscuits.

elfycat · 25/01/2015 21:55

I'm getting better. I have a handful of people who are likely to 'pop' and they are always welcome. They are the only people I will pop too as well. No-one else unless it's life or death.

wyamc · 25/01/2015 22:01

I really hate people just calling in. The few times people have done it:

The hall was full of luggage etc to take on holiday whilst I hoovered round it looking sweaty and frantic.

Another time I was feeding a toddler spaghetti bolognaise in a bumbo seat - yes probably not a good idea but then I didn't know you were going to knock on my door and want a chat.

The third time, she came in and couldn't sit on the soft as I had a huge pile of ironing on it. Surely that's enough of a hint it's not a good time!

Homes are tiny now, if we're having visitors we need notice (and a choice).

paris100 · 25/01/2015 22:13

I have just had a weekend where two members of my family turned up and let themselves in on Friday. One had texted me whilst I was at work, not to ask me, but to say they were coming through. I replied to say we had plans on sat. Got home to find them there and they were staying until Monday.
Cue my annoyance, cancellation of plans.

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