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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think swearing/name calling in an argument is never acceptable?

56 replies

GoldenBoots · 25/01/2015 13:12

Name changed for this.

No matter how many times I explain to my DP that I find swearing ('fuck off' 'shut up twat') during an argument/disagreement unacceptable, he still can't seem to grasp it. Surely I'm not the only person who thinks you can have an adult conversation/disagreement with someone but not have to resort to swearing and name calling? Instead of trying to resolve things and understand why I may be upset, he swears out of frustration and tells me to go away. Apparently I deserve it because I don't know when to stop. Would appreciate some impartial views on this!

OP posts:
celebritydiscodave · 29/10/2016 21:39

The worst insult to an older man is to be called a pervert, because every healthy older man with vision left is one. It requires a serious blow to the head to stop finding that which is attractive not so.

BowieFan · 29/10/2016 21:45

I swear. I also swear a lot (amazingly well, apparently) in arguments. I once told DP to take his "fucking dish-face off to the shed" once when he really got on my wick.

We don't row a lot, but when we have argued I swear. Can't be helped - it's a much better way of telling DP how much he's annoyed me than throwing something at him, for example.

If DP has just got on my nerves, I might give him the silent treatment or just be a bit off with him. If he's really really done something to piss me off (for example when he went out and bought another shed despite us already owning four) then the swearing comes out and DP knows he's in deep shit.

Equally, I know I've done something if DP uses my full name instead of my nickname or shortened name.

celebritydiscodave · 30/10/2016 08:13

In marriage there must still be afforded the space for independent decision making. If one considers that they require another shed to tell them that they are wrong is to tell them that they are STUPID!

NotYoda · 30/10/2016 08:19

I swear a lot, but never at my DH (nor he, me)

I would see what he says to you as showing a lack of respect and self-control. Very immature. If he can't not swear then he should walk away, calm down and think about what he wants to say. As adults should do

Maybe he never got taught this as a child

Who does he swear at? And who does he not swear at?

GreatFuckability · 30/10/2016 08:33

Whore.
And ZOMBIE THREAD.

Confused
Pas4 · 19/12/2019 12:57

I know this is an old post but I can’t find another one more new. Hope I get someone answer 😆 so last night resulted in an argument with my partner and in the end I just shouted fuck you
It’s now all blown out of proportion and I’m a nasty person now... he says ‘the way you spoke to me is out of order’
Is it really though? Is it really that nasty? I was angry and it just came out but in all honesty I just wanted him to stop taking

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