To have made amends with her

[BoogieBoogieWoogie]

Last year I became fairly good friends with a nursery mum. Our DCs were and still are best buddies. My DH also became friends with her. She's a single mum and by her own admission is very vain, a perfectionist and very flirty.
Anyhow discovered a series of flirty texts between my DH and her and confronted him. He said sorry, was fascinated/jealous of her lifestyle (shares custody of her DC so spent half the week as a single young woman) but said it was nothing more than messaging. He found her "fit" but nothing would ever have happened.
We moved on eventually but cut ties with her. Still saw her everyday at nursery but no longer spoke.
Now (6 months later) we're speaking, friends again on FB to share photos of our DCs at their respective parties, and I feel comfortable and I'm happy to be friends again.
AIBU? I feel like it was a serious issue my DH and I faced last year. He apologised, she's recently apologised for her part in it (she also stressed it was just silly messages, no more no less). I actually still like her. But I feel like I should hate her

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, as the saying goes.

Your DH envied her lifestyle of only having her children part time sorry but you are a big mug for accepting him and 'moving on'. And you want to be friends with her, so basically going back for more.

Don't let your guard down, thst would be foolish.

YABU
I wouldn't but I guess some would see no harm in it.

No ladyluck, he envied her lifestyle of going out to restaurants, pubs, cinemas, time to read etc. Slightly different to what you interpreted.

But yes I agrees about keeping her close...although if I suspected Dh would do it again then we wouldn't be together still

Yes I've read it correctly. He envies her lifestyle because she has free time and that's because she doesn't have her kids around all the time. He could have all the free Time if he didn't have his own kids around? How can you be ok with that?

So if you hadn't of found the messages?

Fair enough LadyLuck. But for me that wasn't a major issue. I'll be honest and say there's loads of times that I've been envious of friends going out enjoying themselves.
I do feel happy with where DH and I are at, however hurt and angry I was last year. So if I can forgive him, isn't it ok to forgive her?

If I hadn't had found out I believe him when he says nothing would've happened and the messages would've stopped. Some may call me a fool,but that's my beliefs

I think you're a fool for forgiving him, but if you're going to be a doormat does it really matter whether it's one person walking all over you, or two?

Does flirty texting always lead to sex? Genuine question?

We've all felt we needed that time to just spend how we would want, but then using that as an excuse to start flirting and who knows what else with other people isn't ok at all. But if you want to excuse that then it really explains why you would even want to give this woman any time at all.

Do you have low self esteem op? As it worries me you want to be friends with someone who so disrespects you that's all

Sorry but if someone did that to me I would not piss on them if they were on fire

Op you have read the texts you saw them in what context they were....whom the main instigator was etc.

If you are comfortable with it then whatever works for you.

Difficult when you know how attractive he finds her.

No low esteem. We just have a lot of contact through our DCs and as i say we've recently started chatting again and I'm happy to accept her apology.
Just wondered if anyone else would have. Obviously not!

No I wouldn't have accepted either of their apologies to be honest.

I wouldn't want a DH or 'friend' that disrespected me in this way.

A fairly unanimous response op !!!!!

Some people are sooooo quick to condemn. This woman and OP husband were inappropriate, no doubt about that, but being a single mother can be lonely no matter how much you get to socialise with your friends at the weekend. Sometimes a friendly message can spiral into something more, without that being the intention. Perhaps we should all be applauding OP for being the bigger person with her handling of the situation and allowing someone who made a mistake back in to her life.

True friends don't send inappropriate messages to their friends husbands.

So sure, make amends on the surface if this makes life easier but don't fool yourself that this woman is actually a friend in the understood sense of the word.

I'm happy with that summerisle. Once nursery is over I think we'll loose contact anyway. We're not meeting for lunch or shopping or anything, just happily getting along

I'm a very forgiving person. I'd much rather forgive someone than not so I know where you're coming from but I have to say I don't think I would want to be friendly with her under these circumstances. Actually no, I really would find this hard to get past.