Warning: SIDS Related. To hate the phrase 'Everything happens for a reason'

[YouBetterWerk]

At work yesterday and the team just before we came on shift had just been called to a cot death. The mood in the team was understandably pretty somber.
A colleague, very light and breezy, pipes up with 'Well, everything happens for a reason'
Really?
AIBU to find this a pretty insensitive and thoughtless thing to say? No one else seemed fussed.
I completely understand it helps some people when things don't go their way - not getting a job or their house falling through, in a kind of 'wasn't meant to be' sort of way, but AIBU to have been at this being said about something so tragic? Like somehow it's for the best? And WABU to say 'Sometimes they don't. Sometimes life is just awful'

Even as a medic I find that a bit raw. A SIDS/SB/child death is one of the worst things we (I) encounter professionally - yes there may be a reason but that doesn't make it any better or any easier to deal with for most people. You do need a way to pick yourself up and take yourself back to the shop floor though, maybe that was his way of doing just that, getting through the rest of the shift...

YANBU . It's a stupid phrase.

Dexter I am so sorry

As for the original phrase: it proves that if you have nothing useful to say you should say nothing.

So sorry to hear about your little boy dexter .

That was a ridiculous thing to say . A baby died . It just sounds completely thoughtless/heartless .

DextersMummy, I am so sorry your beautiful little boy died. He looked so sparkly and lively. Sending love to you from Ohio.

Just read more and I'm so sorry to read some of your posts. Dexter, the photos of your little boy are gorgeous

Thanks, he was a brilliant little boy, full of life and happiness, he's so badly missed x
ChatEnOeuf, of course situations like that will be hard for you, I had detectives in my house when I got back from the hospital, some of them had been crying as they could tell from our house just how loved and cherished he was and how unfair the whole situation was.

I'm so sorry about little Dexter :-(

I've had 3 miscarriages in 7 months and have been told "everything happens for a reason" and "clearly wasn't meant to be"

Oh fuck off

When my dad died (he was in his 90's) a lot of people would reply "well he lived a good long life". That pissed me off. First, you don't know if it was good, and you should assume because he was older that we consider his age to have been "long". If WE, as the people with the loss, say it, that's one thing, but having people constantly say that to me was infuriating.

Dextersjamesmummy. Your little boy was so gorgeous.