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AIBU?

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to think -women, what´s gone so wrong?

30 replies

isaidlesbonotasbo · 22/01/2015 17:33

Long time lurker, can´t sit on this one any longer.

Fifty years ago I and many other women fought for equality and womens rights. After a long struggle the western world conceded (OK, only up to a point, still a way to go), but things are so very different now.

Fifty years of books, magazines, tv, movies, pop music, education, the internet, showing us very different templates of how womens´ lives can be.
So why do I read here every day of young women who have chosen lazy, abusive, controlling, or selfish partners. Women who apparently must have such low self esteem that they think they deserve no better? Women from all parts of society.

And not only the pleas from the women who have just woken up to the situation they are in, but almost worse the everyday asides from seemingly contented women as part of other topics, which casually mention how OH, DH, DP ´won´t´or ´can`t´ do such and such, or relly´helps´, or spends endless hours and money on his own hobbies.

Sometimes there´s almost competetive banter re how ¨useless¨ their partners are, bless ´em!

Put aside the very real problems of leaving such relationships once stuck in them, why start them in the first place with all the choices available to us? We don´t have forced or compulsory marriage/partnership. Last time I looked, the Taliban were not in charge nor religious leaders all powerful.

And if the answer is that girls and women are socialised within their family of origin to feel worthless, let´s push the question back at their mothers and grandmothers - feminism did not start last week!

(and don´t get me started on who plays the biggest part in raising,
socialising and entitling these men from their early years....)

OP posts:
ghostyslovesheep · 22/01/2015 19:10

get of the 'we' high horses for starters - I campaigned for years to end legal rape in marriage as part of rape crisis - and I was at Greenham - I don't think that gives me the right to finger wag younger women or pretend for a moment that previous generation did little more than make tiny changes

you whole post starts from the premiss that at some point, down to you, something went right - what? did patriarchy stop and everyone was equal - and now it's changed - no it didn't - 'we' made baby steps

you don't engage other women to continue to push and fight by tutting and telling them they let you down

lunar1 · 22/01/2015 19:18

You are absolutely right op, all those stupid women in abusive relationships have really let you down. It's almost as if they didn't read the label on the man on the first date, you know the one that says I'm a controlling abusive bastard.

NiamhNext · 22/01/2015 19:22

50 years ago this site would have been closed down.

isaidlesbonotasbo · 22/01/2015 19:25

ghosty. suggest you read my OP properly before commenting.

my post says, I and MANY OTHER WOMEN.

People really don´t know how to debate things without coming over so defensive and determined to twist the issue, that it half answers my original question.

OP posts:
YetAnotherHelenMumsnet · 22/01/2015 19:29

Hi all, it's an interesting question but it has been posted twice (women and technology, eh? pfffft) so we're locking this thread and directing you to the other as it is slightly bigger.www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2289290-to-think-women-what-s-gone-so-wrong

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