To say I don't want a bloody routine

[OohLaLaa]

I have a 4 month old DD. I'm very baby led with her, she co sleeps, breast feeds on demand, naps when she wants, usually on me if we aren't out, and I either feed or rock her to sleep. We have no set 'bed time' and just take each day as it comes. She's a really happy, contented baby.

According to some though, I'm doing her a great disservice by not putting her in A Routine. Rod for my own back hate that phrase anyway etc & so forth.

AIBU to think I know my DD, and that a routine is not the way forward for her at the moment?

YANBU, having seen the rigid mess first hand of some new mums and routines I was determined to ignore the advice in books and just go with the flow. Some wouldnt venture out for lunch etc or do anything past 6pm for fear of breaking said routine.

Once they start having food, you can't really not have a routine.
Spreading 3 meals and a couple of naps over the day just creates one.

Just ignore. I've done things slightly differentlywith each of my four because they're different individuals and needed different things. The first had more of a routine because after that I couldn't really rush home for nap time etc. Now I've got school aged children as well as a newborn there isn't a chance of a routine, I just feed baby and nap her on the go!

Ahh, you are right, I am clearly deluded chili I concede that we are in fact slaves to our routine. We do indeed wake up every day, eat periodically and then sleep at night.

I think you know exactly what both I and the OP mean about 'not' having a routine but you are arguing the semantics of the definition of the term routine...

Yes, you know best when it comes to parenting. You've been doing for four full months now, you obviously know better than anyone else.

Seriously I mean that humourously. Lots of us have had fixed ideas about parenting when our pfbs are tiny. Things change.

My boys are 8 months and 2.5 years. They both fell into their own routines, DS1 at about 12 week and DS2 about 6 months. I have never enforced a routine on them as when I did try with DS1 it always backfired on me. He was very set in the routine that he gave himself from 12 to 20ish months though. God help me if I didn't put him down for a nap or give him lunch etc at the same time every day. It drove me mad. Now though he's very adaptable. DS2 has fallen into a very loose routine, but is so laid back that he's just not fussed about any variations, he'll sleep/feed etc whenever and wherever with no bother.
Every baby is different, some need their routines, some don't. Just listen to your baby and your instincts and you won't go far wrong x

4mo here too, and we are doing things very similarly to you OP, although I have to admit I've been thinking it would be nice to have a bitmore routine in our lives. I have noidea how to go about imposing one though! Seriously, how do you get a tiny baby to have a nap or a feed if he doesn't feel like it?

I'm not routine driven, but found that my DCs would drift of into a pattern for a few months, then vary it for another few months. Doing things in flexible time zones worked well. None of us have the need to do things like clockwork, and we've been able to remain flexible around others' needs which simplifies life.

This is on condition that I accept tha any car journey can trigger spontaneous and frequently inconvenient naps.

There's a difference between routine and schedule too. Always napping at the same time is a schedule. Having a 4 hour cycle of feed, play, sleep (for example) is a routine.

It's not about clock watching but baby watching.