How close are you to these people?
One person dropping out is not going to be the end of the world. If all of a sudden a FEW people are dropping out, then that is utterly her fault for organising something that people are uncomfortable with. You specifically asked about the strippers, she said no, so to then book something which went against that is frankly idiotic.
It is the bride's evening, but at the end of the day, people aren't going to do something they feel uncomfortable with, and the bride shouldn't expect them too. If a bride wanted all her hens to do a parachute jump, I'm pretty sure the majority of people would support her doing it - provided they could stay on the ground.
Can you not just tell her "I can't come to this part of the evening" and meet them afterwards (even if it means eating separately)? If needs be you could say "I am happy to work around the show and meet you afterwards, or to pull out of the whole thing. But me not attending the show is non negotiable". Could you not just say a family issue has come up and avoid the whole argument?
It sounds like the strip show is less of a seedy strip club with people walking around in thongs and being paid for private dances (e.g. the sort of clubs that men go to), but more like some sort of Las Vegas show where the strippers are on a stage? I've never heard of a strip club offering a meal and buffet...
That isn't quite the same. It seems much more like a burlesque dance than someone part of a strip club. Firstly, they have a routine, they do a show, and then that's it. They aren't obliged to give "personal" dances in a seedy dark room around the back. They don't need to "solicit" money from the audience - they get paid for their routine and that's it. Likewise, any interaction with the audience is strictly controlled by the stripper - they call specific people onto the stage, get them to do specific things, then that person leaves. They aren't forced to engage with complete scumbags.
It's not like they have people grabbing them and trying to feel them up. There's a clear division of space between audience and performer. Aren't male strip "shows" (like the one mentioned by the OP) pretty much intended to be super tacky anyway? It's not like the audience are actually expecting to get turned on.
I think for male strippers, the better equivalent is when you "order" someone to come in dressed as a police man when you're at home or in the pub or something.
That is epic wrong and cringe.