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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if it's just me?

27 replies

betweenmarchandmay · 20/01/2015 14:59

I have been flicking through the primary education boards and am now wondering if I am alone insofar that I have never worried about ds's place in the class or his extra curricular activities or his levels ...

Is it really just me who takes him to school and picks him up and - well, that's it?

Blush
OP posts:
lemisscared · 20/01/2015 15:05

me too - the mist important thing for me is that dd is happy at school.

Original poster
betweenmarchandmay · 20/01/2015 15:16

Yes, same here for both my DCs!

OP posts:
DeanKoontz · 20/01/2015 15:20

I don't understand the levels.

Original poster
betweenmarchandmay · 20/01/2015 15:23

It's bonkers. His appear on his report but is meaningless really.

OP posts:
laylaloulou · 20/01/2015 15:40

I'm the same as you, OP

Joolsy · 20/01/2015 15:43

I don't think it's just you but I like to know where abouts my DDs are in relation to the others in her class & if she's met all the expected targets for her age. If not, we can work on it outside of school or discuss with teacher what can be done in school. Having said that, when I'm told "X is working at 3A" it doesn't mean much to me.

Original poster
betweenmarchandmay · 20/01/2015 16:24

I suppose my only issue with that is it only relates to progress within that class which obviously is meaningless nationally.

OP posts:
esiotrot2015 · 20/01/2015 16:27

do you go to parent's evening though? It's good to be able to understand the teacher when they send home reports saying what level your child is at

I think it's ok to take an interest in your child's education

or are you being tongue in cheek when you say you take him and pick him up and that's it?

do you read with him, do homework?

TheCowThatLaughs · 20/01/2015 16:30

I don't know where ds is in relation to the rest of his class but I'm happy with his effort and progress so not bothered about anyone else's child's

Aberchips · 20/01/2015 16:39

No - I agree with you. I think that there is a lot of pressure to do "homework" even for Reception age kids. I read with him, but I think that lots of things we do at home are "educational" without really trying to be IYSWIM.

We take them to interesting places at the weekends/ during holidays, read non school books etc. I learnt lots of things from my Dad in particular which weren't school related.

Original poster
betweenmarchandmay · 20/01/2015 16:43

Don't do homework, do go to parents evenings, don't read - he was a pretty early reader to be honest so didn't need to after reception (he is now in year 2.)

OP posts:
DevonFolk · 20/01/2015 16:45

I think it's really sad not to take the slightest bit of interest in his education and you sound like you're rather proud of it. These years at school are so important. Of course their happiness is paramount, but celebrating their achievements and acknowleging their struggles are important too.

SomewhereIBelong · 20/01/2015 16:46

DD is musical - we got piano lessons - so yes I do bother about extra curricular activities.

Levels through the school years give an indication of progress, I am keen for DD to show some progress (most parents are surely?) so yes I am interested in levels. (and levels themselves are nationally based - not just relatively in that class)

Place in class does not matter one bit.

PinkSquash · 20/01/2015 16:48

We don't get these levels that everyone else does, we get told if our DC are below expectations, achieving expectations or exceeding expectations.

MrsKCastle · 20/01/2015 16:57

It's not just you- I know plenty of parents like this. I find it hard to understand how people can feel this way, though. A child's education is so important to their future happiness. Why would you hand such an important responsibility completely over to the school? You must have a lot of trust in and respect for the teachers.

(And by education being important, I don't mean 'high level of education = happy adult'; that would be a ridiculous belief. But I do think that self-confidence, interest in the world, ability to read and assess information accurately, strong numeracy skills and so on make life a lot easier and more fulfilling.)

BiscuitsAreMyDownfall · 20/01/2015 17:06

Im the same as you OP. Well for now while they are in Yr 2 and Yr 5. Not sure if that will change when DS starts secondary in 2016.

I go to parents evening and while its nice to know what can be improved, it is what it is. As long as my children are happy, behave and try at school then that is all I am bothered about. As they grow up if they try and get a D in any subject then that's fine by me.

My parents put far too much pressure on me when I was growing up. I remember getting a C once for some history homework and was happy with that, only to be asked what's wrong with a B or A.

Original poster
betweenmarchandmay · 20/01/2015 17:07

I do trust his teachers, yes. At least, they've done a good job so far :)

I wouldn't say I am proud exactly of the stance I take. It's more that I think if he was struggling it would be counterproductive to be too draconian about matters.

He does do extra curricular stuff - it's just I didn't give it much thought. It was more 'mum can I do this?' 'yes sure!'

OP posts:
Original poster
betweenmarchandmay · 20/01/2015 17:08

biscuits snap.

DH on the other hand had no pressure put on him and excelled.

I never did any work unless I was told to and I think it made me quite lazy!

OP posts:
PossumPoo · 20/01/2015 17:16

I think there is a slight obsession with formal education in this country. Take an interest if you want or don't.

MrsK l absolutely think your second paragraph smacks of the obsession l talk about. That doesn't sound like you're describing a child going to school!

Frusso · 20/01/2015 17:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
betweenmarchandmay · 20/01/2015 17:19

I can imagine frusso Flowers

OP posts:
Frusso · 20/01/2015 17:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsKCastle · 21/01/2015 11:10

I'm not quite sure what to make of that comment, PossumPoo. What I described in my last paragraph was what I would hope my DDs would have by the time they leave education. But the most important things for me are self-confidence and an interest in the world, and surely that DOES (or should) describe a child going to school?

Maybe you're right about it being slightly obsessive, but I'm very aware of how difficult it is for even the most outstanding school to meet the needs and encourage the interests of every child. Whereas a parent can respond to their own child's needs.

mommy2ash · 21/01/2015 11:20

it depends ultimately my dd being happy is the most important. she is a very bright child so both her teachers and myself would worry if she dropped down a level as she does have the ability. to be honest I wouldn't care if she was bottom or top as long as it was her best. I don't push her but neither do I just drop her off children do best at school when their parents are involved with their education.

not saying you aren't op just in case it reads like that im just talking in general.

Original poster
betweenmarchandmay · 21/01/2015 15:25

I'm not sure an interest in the world is sparked by school, if I am honest.

OP posts: