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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How on earth do I handle this woman?!

51 replies

GreyjoysAnatomy · 17/01/2015 18:57

Background-

I have two best friends, one of them (A) has a friend (B) who she recently introduced me to. Seemed nice, been out for coffee together a few times, all fine. B added me on Facebook a few weeks ago, no problem there.

A few nights ago B messaged me asking who my other best friend (C) was from my wedding photos. I said "oh that's C" thinking nothing of it. (C has a very distinctive haircut and people often ask about it so it didn't seem strange that she would)

Since then she has been repeatedly messaging me asking if he's single, sending me lingerie photos of herself (bleurgh) to show him etc. I have politely told her he's not interested and she seemed to get the message and stopped.

But she's messaged him!! He is really creeped out by this weird stalker lady (as am I, I barely know this woman and she's sending me semi naked photos Shock) and has blocked her, naturally.

What on earth do I do about her? I can't just not see her, she's going to be at an event next week that I'm attending and I don't want it to be awkward for A.

Aibu to think she needs telling to back the fuck off?!

OP posts:
Pancakeflipper · 17/01/2015 19:00

Remove her from your FB and tell her the C is not interested and to stop sending photos to you and to him and stop acting so desperate

She is A's friend you can firmly polite.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 17/01/2015 19:03

I'd be telling her that her actions are fucking inappropriate and she should stop being an arse and leave him alone..

Sod feeling awkward for 'A', stalker woman is her mate , not yours.

Tell A that B is acting like a pillock

ImperialBlether · 17/01/2015 19:03

Why not write her a note saying he's not interested and that you don't want her to send you photos again. Then talk to your friend, A; she should talk to her about inappropriate behaviour - she really comes across as desperate.

Fabulous46 · 17/01/2015 19:06

Unfriend and block her. She sounds pretty desperate and not someone I'd like to have as a friend, especially if she's stalking my friends.

LadyLuck10 · 17/01/2015 19:09

You be straight with her, seems like she needs someone to. Tell her it was very inappropriate and your friend found it very disrespectful. You should have done that immediately when she sent you pictures of herself. She sounds desperate and I wouldn't want to be around the likes of her. Tell your friend, A, the truth as well.

Original poster
GreyjoysAnatomy · 17/01/2015 19:12

I've already spoken to A, she said she'd have a word. I will unfriend and block, I just wasn't sure whether to do that before or after this event as it means a lot to A, and I really dont want any trouble. I figure she if she stalks people, what else will she do?

OP posts:
Original poster
GreyjoysAnatomy · 17/01/2015 19:14

Yes, I haven't told her outright how inappropriate it is, just tried to let her down gently, as it were.

She isn't even single Shock

OP posts:
fluffyraggies · 17/01/2015 19:16

I know nothing about FB, but if he's blocked her i don't think you need to do any more as far as the friend C is concerned with her.

I would block her too, and as far as future meetings IRL, as it were, i would just stay cool, polite and distant. And tell friend A exactly why beforehand so that she's in the know.

No need to do any more than that. The woman B is obviously a fruit loop!

KatieKaye · 17/01/2015 19:18

back away.
Back away now.

This woman sounds rather strange and I'd be worried her behaviour would escalate.

Block her on Facebook and on your phone too.

When you meet at the event, just smile pleasantly, refuse to discuss the matter because you've just seen a really old friend across the room.

And tell A the full story and why you don't want to develop a friendship with B.

FightOrFlight · 17/01/2015 19:33

Curious about this distinctive haircut that's got her sending knicker pics to him (is he Tom Jones?)

My guess is dreadlocks.

Original poster
GreyjoysAnatomy · 17/01/2015 19:39

Oh A knows it all, I screenshot what B was saying to me and sent it to her as I was just really shocked and thought she ought to know.

Unfortunately I won't really be able to get away from her at this event, we will be sitting together along with two other mutual friends, A will be up on stage.

OP posts:
Original poster
GreyjoysAnatomy · 17/01/2015 19:39

Fight indeed Wink

OP posts:
FightOrFlight · 17/01/2015 19:45

Oooh Greyjoys what's your email address I have some pics I need to send him you .... Grin Loves the locks < sigh >

Does she have 'form' for stalking strange men? She sounds very odd indeed!

Tinks42 · 17/01/2015 19:50

Blimey, the woman sounds like she has some major issues there OP. What did your friends say about it, only that she would have a word? Does she know what she's like?

victoryinthekitchen · 17/01/2015 19:51

unfriend and keep away from her as much as you can, her behaviour is so strange / odd that she'll be used to people avoiding her!

FightOrFlight · 17/01/2015 19:51

By strange I didn't mean your males friend is strange, I meant that he's a stranger!

KatieKaye · 17/01/2015 19:51

Is that a croak I hear in your voice, Grey?

I do hope you aren't developing laryngitis that will leave you without speech at this occasion? Wink

Tinks42 · 17/01/2015 19:52

Was she pissed?

ImperialBlether · 17/01/2015 19:56

She's not even single!

Shock
HexBramble · 17/01/2015 19:56

If she's not single, then will her DH/partner be at this event too?

Original poster
GreyjoysAnatomy · 17/01/2015 19:56

Tinks A didn't know she was like that, she knows her from baby group so I'm guessing she hasn't spent an awful lot of time with her outside that.

I think A is re evaluating her friendship with her as well, but for her it's more difficult as she lives round the corner and has the same circle of friends, whereas I don't.

OP posts:
Eminado · 17/01/2015 19:59

Delete and block block block!!

I cannot believe the weirdness of sending YOU lingerie pics?!

Original poster
GreyjoysAnatomy · 17/01/2015 20:00

Fight he is a bit odd Grin

Her dp won't be there, he'll be at home with their daughter I think.

The whole situation is just weird, what am I supposed to say to the loon woman Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
GreyjoysAnatomy · 17/01/2015 20:02

Em I know!! That probably the bit that makes me most Shock

OP posts:
Tinks42 · 17/01/2015 20:31

I actually feel for the woman to be fair.

If she thinks that is acceptable behaviour there is something really wrong.

I'd not be horrible to her as a result of her actions.

I'd invite her round and ask why her self esteme was at such a low point she thought this was an ok thing to do.