Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

We have a rare child free day and night .....

90 replies

MyballsareSandy · 17/01/2015 11:34

..... so DH and I have planned a lovely walk later this afternoon, to a little pub with an open fire, great food, good wine. Really looking forward to it, spending some time alone.

Mentioned this to a friend yesterday when we were talking about the weekend - she has just sent me a text saying she's managed to get a babysitter and would love to join us, what time are we setting off etc.

WTF!! Angry

Help me compose a reply please.

OP posts:
TheSortingCat · 17/01/2015 14:43

Have you sent the text yet OP?

Original poster
MyballsareSandy · 17/01/2015 14:47

Maybe I should just send her a link to this thread Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
MyballsareSandy · 17/01/2015 14:49

It's gone. "Hi, only just seen this. We were looking forward to having a bit of time alone today. Let's all go out together another evening, perhaps with the kids x"

Nothing offensive in that is there, short and to the point. Surely can't be misunderstood?

OP posts:
WilsonWilsonWoman · 17/01/2015 14:50

Don't explain and don't apologise! DH and I want alone time. Catch up next week?' Done. Grin

WilsonWilsonWoman · 17/01/2015 14:51

x post, great reply. Have fun!

TheSortingCat · 17/01/2015 14:54

Sounds like a good reply OP.

Come back and tell us if she does anything outrageous won't you! Grin

Have fun tonight!

waithorse · 17/01/2015 14:54

She sounds the sort who may still turn up at the pub. Grin

FruChristerOla · 17/01/2015 15:03

Ask her why she feels the need to be a 'gooseberry' whilst you and DH enjoy a chance to have a relaxed, 24 hour, child-free weekend?

Ememem84 · 17/01/2015 15:08

you know she'll still turn up...

...i know someone like this. told her effectively she wasn't wanted at date night at particular restaurant. she turned up with her dp and was all "funny seeing you here...shal we join you...? by this point it was too late. she'd already sat down.

have started being cagier about my outings.

Shakey1500 · 17/01/2015 15:09

Great text, let us know what she replies, or if she turns up anyway (hope not!)

That's a point Shock She may also use the "sorry, didn't see your text, thought it might be about 4pm ish so just took a chance! Anyway, mine's a G+T"

I'd ring her to make it absolutely crystal clear.

penguinsaresmall · 17/01/2015 15:12

Go to a different pub just in case...

Or get some wine in, order a takeaway and spend the day shagging doing nothing Grin

Original poster
MyballsareSandy · 17/01/2015 15:31

Got a reply back very quickly, which I'm pleased about, as I was concerned they'd turn up. Was thinking about driving further afield, but really want to walk and have a few drinks with DH.

But reply was a bit odd:

"Oh! Bit rude after I've arranged a babysitter, but never mind I understand"

I was talking about this to another mutual friend and she said she's experienced a similar thing with her and never tells her anything these days about her social life.

OP posts:
Original poster
MyballsareSandy · 17/01/2015 15:31

Like you say, Ememem, time to start being cagier!

OP posts:
clam · 17/01/2015 15:33

Bit rude?!!!!! Shock

What IS it with some people?

TheSortingCat · 17/01/2015 15:37

She sounds bonkers and hard work.

"Bit rude"?!?!

I suggest a dignified silence now.

Shock Angry Confused

ohdearitshappeningtome · 17/01/2015 15:40

Reply:

Sorry, was trying to be polite, were actually staying in to have a shag-fest! Didn't think you would want to participate Wink

applejack18 · 17/01/2015 15:42

How dare she call the OP rude!
IMHO she is not a true friend at all. Her fault for booking babysitter before getting confirmation. Weird beyond belief.

DelGirl · 17/01/2015 15:49

are you sure she wasn't joking? A big presumption on her part otherwise

FruChristerOla · 17/01/2015 15:53

OK. If you have to respond, send her this reply : "bit rude?? what on earth are you talking about? I didn't invite you to join DH and me on our 'date-night'. Why did you think that I did?"

wonderingsoul · 17/01/2015 15:53

id HAVE to text back

considering i hadnt actually invited you at all, and you booked a babysitter and invited yourself, i find you to o be the rude one.

id have to, i coudlnt let that go.

BitchPeas · 17/01/2015 15:56

What a twat. This would really annoy me!

Id text back...

It was always a date night for me and DH I have no idea why you've arranged a babysitter.

dalekanium · 17/01/2015 15:57

I'd so want to text back

'Not half is fucking rude as inviting yourself on someone else's date night'

And add a nice p.a smiley ;)

BolshierAyraStark · 17/01/2015 15:59

I couldn't keep a dignified silence, would reply 'hmmmm, as I didn't actually invite you on our date I don't think I'm the rude one...'

MaryWestmacott · 17/01/2015 16:02

I'd go with a simple "if you'd mentioned first you'd like to join us before getting a babysitter, I'd have told you it was a date for me and DH." Not having a go, just point out her mistake.

Also, she sounds sulky and lacking in social skills, phase out time...

FruChristerOla · 17/01/2015 16:11

She clearly lacks an understanding of boundaries. I'm sure that most of us listening to a friend saying they're going to A pub/B restaurant/C film/D 'whatever', would simply say "that sounds lovely, have fun".

Don't tell her your plans in the future!