to look back and feel embarassed about all the places I got my boobs out?

[NewNameForBoobThread]

I know I probably am BU.

When breastfeeding my DC, I was always quite clear that I'd feed them wherever I was at the time. It never occurred to me to move, or cover up particularly, even around people who, in retrospect, probably found it very awkward.

AIBU to feel a bit embarassed, and wonder whether I should have been more considerate (e.g., in other people's houses, when they might not have wanted me doing it there)?

You are being u, but you know that. You were feeding your baby when your baby needed feeding, not performing a burlesque in a giant champagne glass in the middle of your ILs' living room, for god's sake.

Thanks Holy. I don't know why it's suddenly struck me but I suddenly feel all cringey and rude about some of the places I did it.

I'm bf at the mo and will whip them out anywhere. I know I've probably made a couple of mates feel a bit 'don't know where to look' but I'm the first of my social group to have kids so I figure that seeing me bf night make them more comfortable when they/their partners are doing it in the future!

General public I just don't give a monkeys. They can turn their heads if uncomfortable.

The more people see it the less of an issue it will become. I'd love it if in 30 years ish, my dd didn't have to even consider how bfing her baby might affect others.

Tbh Id have felt more embarrassed if a friend or family member felt they had to ask my permission to breastfeed in my home or my presence. No one who bottle feeds has and when a child has to be fed they have to be fed.

I don't think you've done anything wrong or inconsiderate, if anyone felt put out or embarrassed that's their issue to deal with

I'd spit blood if someone else said this though

I was expecting you to say you flashed during a memorial parade or something.

Yabu!

YABU. You fed them how you felt comfortable at the time so I wouldn't be embarassed now.
I thought this would be a thread about you going on nights out and flashing your boobs
I wouldnt worry or be embarassed. You were doing it for your baby, not to make anyone feel awkward or uncomfortable.

YWNBU then. YABU now.
Nice way to shame people still bf in public though. Do you think they should be embarrassed .

Thank you! This is helping my embarassment.

There was one fairly elderly male friend of DH's and I fed DS in his lounge without asking... he was totally polite but in retrospect I think he was mortified.

Cross post. Why do you think is it alright for other people but was inconsiderate of you?

I was expecting a completely different post in the lines of you got pissed at a wedding and flashed the vicar. How can BFing be seen as something to be embarassed about?

I think it's better to feel like that than to feel stupid and guilty at all the times you miserably fed in a manky toilet, left early with a crying baby and moved on to formula too soon like I do about DC1.

Oh no I thought it was a thread about you getting drunk and getting your boobs out !

Disappointed

Should not look back and be embarrassed, I'm sure people would equally embarrassed that they had made you feel uncomfortable feeding your baby. I wish I had be bolder and just fed ds wherever instead of letting him cry until I could feed at home or other 'safe' place.

Won't be doing that this time ! Boobs out wherever is needed. Lady be at PTA meeting the other night, nobody batted an eyelid

Should have read, lady bf at the PTA meeting

Sorry to people who thought this thread would be more exciting .
If it helps, I did once do a topless protest (drunk, in a swimming pool) but remember it rather fondly.

Tarka, I think it should be clear that's not my aim. Am discussing how I feel, that is all.

Anyone who invites a breast feeding mother to their home has to assume that they will be breast feeding during the visit.

You didn't 'get your boobs out' you fed your child as nature intended. Breast feeding is what breasts are for.

We have twins. I exclusively breastfed them wherever/whenever they needed it.

Would you ask permission to bottle feed your child? If course not.

Really?
I'm a bit - surprised- that I marched around a Thai Island topless but embarrassed about breast feeding? Never.

YABU.

I'm more embarrassed about all the silly corners, toilets and cars I hid in to feed DDs 1&2 first time round. I couldn't care less with DD3.

Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter.

I flashed a very full pub. We were doing a charity pub crawl - had a whip round the bar for donations with the promise of three 20year olds flashing at the end. Not even faintly embarrassed about that. We raised 60 quid for the nspcc!

Apologies for the hijack though!

I'm another one who when visiting other people's houses I would say, "Do you mind if I feed him?"

I wonder why we feel obliged to ask when bottle feeders don't. I had never thought about it before.

I definitely asked if the other people had young children but that was because I didn't know if their children knew what breast feeding was and whether parents were happy for their children's first experience of it was to see me doing it. Some parents may have wanted to talk to their young child about what breast feeding is and why it's done before the child actually sees it happening.

One time, very early on, I did ask (in a university bar) whether I could feed my DS. Of course, said the bar manager. Then, after a complaint, he marched over and said "I didn't know you meant THAT. Please don't do it".
Perhaps that's why I never asked again after that!

I cringe now that I stayed in the car, sat in the bogs, waited till I found baby room or whatever before feeding my DCs. Should have just got on with it.
That, though, was my wimpiness about dealing with any complaints rather than embarrassment. I fed in a restaurant in Scotland, though, because I knew there was a law protecting me (this was a few years ago)!
If you're not embarrassed about others BFing now, and don't think they should cover up, then you ought not to feel embarrassed retrospectively about feeding your own DC.

I understand your cringe OP. I feel in general fine about all the places I BF (this was in the nineties) but there is one occasion I still wonder about....out for an Indian meal (not really posh) with my dad and his judgey bitch GF. Both DF and GF in their late fifties.
I fed DD at the table, she was a few months old.

I wonder now if that was a contributing factor in the GF's icy attitude to me for the ensuing decade.

Pear I'd be furious with the GF rather than cringing. You know she's a bitch so why feel bad because of her reaction?

OP I think you are over thinking - your DH's friend probably hasn't given it a thought once!

your baby needed to be fed, you fed the baby. Unless you were actually specifically looking for most awkward places for doing it, you're overthinking.