to look back and feel embarassed about all the places I got my boobs out?

[NewNameForBoobThread]

I know I probably am BU.

When breastfeeding my DC, I was always quite clear that I'd feed them wherever I was at the time. It never occurred to me to move, or cover up particularly, even around people who, in retrospect, probably found it very awkward.

AIBU to feel a bit embarassed, and wonder whether I should have been more considerate (e.g., in other people's houses, when they might not have wanted me doing it there)?

I just get on with it. The only thing I have noticed is my inlaws very loudly discuss the weather when I am feeding in public in their presence!

I hope I don't get flamed for this but I bf for over 7 years in total if you add up all my DCs, and what struck me each time I gave up is that while you are breastfeeding it seems the most natural thing in the world but as soon as you stop it seems a really peculiar thing for me to have done.

I still look at my boobs and think "I fed 3 babies for YEARS out of these? Really?"

I could never express and my DCs were practically never sick so maybe the fact that I hardly ever saw my actual milk compounds this feeling.

I am rambling a bit but I wonder whether it is the same sort of feeling bringing on your feelings of cringe.

Thank you to all for the messages (and I apologise for less interesting thread than title promises!).

Balloon - yes, precisely that - thank you for putting it into words.
Pear, thanks for understanding the cringe. Your dad's GF sounds like, er, an interesting character. Hope it doesn't bother you too much.
Hazle where did you find that picture of me??

OP, fwiw, I am totally with you. I BF my son at my work, when visiting one day, in our staff room, with some right old codger teachers present who were - like your DH's friend - probably mortified. Since then, a few years ago now, I've looked back and cringed. Totally irrational and I know I didn't do anything wrong, but I still feel that way at bit. So you may be irrational, but you're not alone

YABVU

Bf mothers don't even have the support of previous bf mothers now....sigh

I wouldn't worry about the older guy's house. How long does other people's mortification last for? Even if he were mortified at the time (for you? For himself because he saw your boobs?), do you think he's still sitting there cringing? Definitely not. Embarrassment from our own actions lasts much longer - which is probably why you feel as you do now. And you had a legitimate reason! I feel much more embarrassed about things like flashing my boobs for non-breastfeeding purposes in my youth (and the rest)... Give yourself a break.

Yabvvu to think like that. Your baby needed feeding, you fed him/her so what! Its not like you paraded topless down, Oxford Street.

I always thought I was being discrete and considerate - very much so.

I sat having finally finished bf ages before at a toddler group with my youngest nearly 3 and another mother was telling a bf mother not to worry as they were all use to Dazzel wiping out her boobs any where any time.

I was and - and then had to watch this mother explain how it was meant in a nice way ( I'm sure it was) but it wasn't how it had felt to me at the time I was bf - I was also covering up and finding corners in my mind.

always not also .

" Some parents may have wanted to talk to their young child about what breast feeding is and why it's done before the child actually sees it happening."
Why? What bad thing could happen if the child hadn't been prepared?

calmexterior think you've got wrong end of stick. At utterly no point did OP refer to BF mums doing anything wrong, she's talking about only her own feelings about herself, and in a way that shows it's clear that she knows this train of thought isn't right.

As I said, I totally empathise. Didn't do a think wrong. Totally support any mums right to Bf anywhere. Doesn't make my slightly cringey feelings now go away. Would never feel that way about anyone else. It's totally irrational for me. Balloonslayer's explanation is on the nose for me.

A good piece of advice a friend once gave me was, "Don't fill in other people's thought bubbles!" In other words, don't imagine what others are thinking. These 'excruciatingly embarrassed' folk were probably nothing of the sort. Their thought bubbles may have read, "Aaw, how lovely that she feels so confident..." or "Isn't that a beautiful sight? A mum feeding her baby so naturally..."
We did a jumble sale recently in our village hall, and a young mum arrived and breastfed her baby as she went round the stalls. It was just lovely to see, and all us old biddies were delighted.
I too thought this was about...er... other occasions when boobs were on show. In the early seventies I went topless on beaches all over the Med, and revelled in the freedom. But my boobs were quite nice then. Now, I'd be tripping over them as they reach down to my knees. (Well, not quite, but nearly!)

I have heard that there is an element of hormonal disinhibition involved. In other words, prolactin actually decreases the fucks you give about flashing your boobs. So presumably, once you stop producing it, you might start to give the fucks you did not give at the time?

Disclaimer: I have no studies, peer reviewed or otherwise, to cite in support.

But you don't need to "whip your boobs out" to breastfeed. I fed DD whenever she needed it, but I didn't have to whip anything out to do so. Once she had learned to latch on properly it was easy to pop her on wherever we were without making an exhibition of myself.

I don't really get all the drama going on around BF tbh - I breastfed both my children over 20 years ago and continued till around their first birthday

I didn't hide away anywhere either just was discreet when in a public place or someone else's home

Not sure where flashing even occurs as nothing to be seen really - it does make me wonder how women breastfeed these days - am I missing something?

I pretty dam sure I wasn't exposing breasts left right and centre Bunbaker - I'm very shy and was always thinking about being discrete.

I wore clothes to hide behind and past first early days ( have large boobs and get clumsy when tired so and new baby it's not inconceivable I was less discrete than I imaged).

I would have said mine were actually pretty discrete feeders though I did feed them when needed though always looked for a corner or quiet place out of the way - and when they got to an age they weren't they were at an age when we could only feed in our house.

Yet that was the description used that time - and that was from someone being supportive.

So no idea if I was self deluding myself.

i thought this was going to be a thread about being drunk and getting ones baps out in the hopes of getting free drinks....

...no...? just me then.....

I know exactly what you mean. I'm hugely pro breast feeding and have, on other threads been referred to- Quite proudly, as a breast feeding nazi, but I do feel a bit more embarrassed now about getting the girls out than I did at the time.

I think that it's because my breasts have become sexual again- not to others, but to me. They have therefore once more become a more private affair. when I was breast feeding that wasn't the case, and indeed I vehemently disagree with the idea of breasts as 'just for sex' as this has really negatively impacted upon rates of breast feeding and how our society feels about it. But yes, now that they are back in the sack my breasts seem more embarrassing

I wouldn't cringe. But iv bf my children and I do realise that some people are uncomfortable when someone is bf. I tried to be aware of other people's feelings when i was bf. If OH friends were around I'd bf in a different room. If we were out and about I'd choose tables away from the door in cafes. Poor fil was mortified and he used to leave the room so mil set me a nice big cozy arm chair in their snug with tv and snacks which suited both of us.

Is the woman in the photo bf in front of a stall of formula milk?

Balloonslayer I feel a bit like that and I'm still feeding my dd! (She's 13 months) I never leak and I can hear her slurping away when she feeds but I can't see anything so it doesn't seem real. It almost makes me want to stop as it makes me feel like my boobs aren't part of me which is odd but it's a brilliant way to calm her when she's cranky and I do enjoy the snuggles so am happy to carry on. Just feels a bit odd sometimes. I don't feed her out and about anymore but I couldn't have given a stuff when she was younger. Fed in front of bil, pil and no one ever objected. In fact everyone was very encouraging. Will never regret it even if mrsmoggins theory does come true when I stop

Hazlenut!

MrsGosling, yes. She claimed it was accidental and she didn't even notice the stand.

I too was going to tell you of a few times I had whipped them out!! ha ha. maybe we do need a new thread for those stories.......

What a misleading title, I thought you was going to say in nightclubs in a drunken state.

As for breast feeding then dong feel embarrassed, it a natural thing to do