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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

folding down the corners of a borrowed book

142 replies

Thatsnotmypiglet · 15/01/2015 17:18

I lent a recipe book to a friend and she had it for about two weeks. When I got it back I put it in the cupboard and thought no more about it. I just got it out to bake muffins for ds and several pages have their corners turned down. I don't turn the corners on any of my books and I wouldn't think to do it on a borrowed book. I know it's really not important but AIBU to be a tiny bit peed off? Smile

OP posts:
DrSeuss · 15/01/2015 17:42

Forget the fact that it's a book, whatever your stance on that is. If someone lends you their property, you return it in the same state or better. Doesn't matter what it is.

BoredChurch · 15/01/2015 17:43

I wouldn't do it to someone else's book - it's rude. However, I think you shouldn't lend something like a book unless you are a bit relaxed about it.

MagpieCursedTea · 15/01/2015 17:43

Folding corners, breaking spines and anything of the sort are serious crimes against books! LTB! (Leave The Bookdamager)

firesidechat · 15/01/2015 17:45

My husband doesn't lend our daughter books for this very reason. His books look unread and pristine when he has read them. She bends back the spine and they take a right old battering.

She has a Kindle now. You can't wreck a Kindle book or at least I hope not.

WandaDoff · 15/01/2015 17:45

I would have to kill her.

pictish · 15/01/2015 17:52

Don't lend anything that you are even the slightest bit bothered about, out. Simple as that.

Mammanat222 · 15/01/2015 17:52

Depends. Me and friend at work have shared many books over the years (100's) and some of them have already been second / third hand and therefore in a bit of a state already.

However there is no way I'd deface a new book or book in good condition.

pictish · 15/01/2015 17:53

P.s my books are well used and get hammered. I fold down corners and bend spines and all that stuff.

MarjorieMelon · 15/01/2015 17:56

I do it to my own books and when I have borrowed books from friends I have absentmindely done it to theirs too. They probably hate me.

Viviennemary · 15/01/2015 17:57

I think turning down corners of a book is a gross offence. I bought a book from a charity shop and a corner had been turned down. I was annoyed about this. Use a bookmark.

FightOrFlight · 15/01/2015 17:59

Referring back to the first (and last) time I borrowed a book from my SIL.

I bent the spine a tiny amount (think: can only see the crease in certain lights) as it was hard to read by just opening it by a fingers width.

When I returned it she inspected it closely, let out an audible gasp and said I might as well keep it as she'd have to buy another copy now Hmm

I replied that if she was going to read it again she might as well just take the copy back. She replied that as she'd read it once she didn't intend to read it again but it wouldn't 'look right' on the shelf with the others. WTAF? Must have been the only time someone has ever lent me an ornament Confused

Never borrowed a book from her, or anyone else, since.

I used to love buying the old stock from our local library for 10 or 20p a book. Never bothered me that there were bent back pages, creased spines, pen marks etc. - I could still read the story which is the point of a book in the first place.

MarjorieMelon · 15/01/2015 18:00

Well you can't really be annoyed about a book from a charity shop Vivienne because the previous owner is entitled to do whatever they want with their own book.

DrownedReindeer · 15/01/2015 18:01

My ex HATED creases in the spines of books.

How I'd love to break the spine of a book right in front of his face right now Grin

Viviennemary · 15/01/2015 18:02

I can't argue with that Marjorie! But I was still offended as it just isn't necessary to deface a book in this way.

Back2Two · 15/01/2015 18:04

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns

MarjorieMelon · 15/01/2015 18:07

I'm thankful for Mumsnet really because I just assumed that everyone bent the spine and turned the pages down on paperbacks because that's what I always did. About 10 years ago there was a similar thread on Mumsnet so I tried to stop doing it to other peoples book but up until I read that thread I genuinely had no idea that it would annoy people.

I'm much more precious with coffee table books etc but with paperbacks it's all about the reading not the condition of the book. I don't consider turned down pages to be defacing a book.

I apologise to anyone I may have inadvertently offended in the past. Blush

AlleyCat11 · 15/01/2015 18:07

My bloke turns down the pages on recipes he likes. I've just been cleaning the house & un-turned them all (there's a storm outside).
Another question... I always bin the dust jackets of books. Hate them! Is that a big book no-no?

LurcioAgain · 15/01/2015 18:08

I'd be pissed off too. I remember lending a book to a colleague, a book that had survived my undergraduate years without any damage. He immediately took it, and bent it right back completely breaking the spine (and not only does that give me heebie-jeebies for aesthetic reasons, when you do that, the pages tend to start to fall out).

MehsMum · 15/01/2015 18:09

I was shamed in class when I was about 6 for turning down the corn of a book (nasty fierce Mrs. Thompson...)

But YANBU: borrowed property should be returned in the same state as it was loaned. I am reading a friend's book at the moment, a very old (68 year old) penguin, and the cover is coming off. I think it's more off than it was 2 days ago and I don't know how as I have been very careful and have serious guilt.

I keep finding the same crabbed writing in books I borrow from a huge academic library. People who write and underline in library books should be taken out and shot. It's very simple, really. Do it to one or two and nobody would ever do it again.

OttiliaVonBCup · 15/01/2015 18:09

I hate that with a passion.

FightOrFlight · 15/01/2015 18:11

Alleycat

I don;t bin them but I do remove them and put them in a cupboard instead < has a cupboard full of random dust covers >

Going by the majority of posters on here, however, I think it could actually be a hanging offence.

Jill2015 · 15/01/2015 18:13

Book should have been returned in the same condition, in which it was lent, IMO. I don't like to see corners turned down on pages. I don't buy books just to admire them on a shelf, and can live with normal 'wear and tear'. Fortunately people I lend them to, generally return them the same way.
I did lend a book once to a colleague, and she returned it looking like she had run over it, in her car, or something. I didn't lend her any more books.

pictish · 15/01/2015 18:17

How the hell do you read in bed without bending the spine of a book?
Life is too short to get precious about bloody novels. I go through roughly four a month and rarely bother keeping them afterwards.
Some books ought to be treated with kid gloves...but not cookery books or novels surely?

MarjorieMelon · 15/01/2015 18:20

I actually don't like borrowing books from people anyway. I have one friend who keeps bringing me books to read without me asking so she must be ok with the condition when I return them.

How do you all keep them in such good condition though? After I have read a book it definitely looks well worn.

MrsTawdry · 15/01/2015 18:21

Pictish SO right. It's not the same as a hardback or special book is it?

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