wedding or birthday?

[itosh]

AIBU to go to my husband's 60th birthday celebration and miss one of my really close friend's wedding?

It is so unfortunate they fall on the same date..

oh LoblollyBoy I hope not! (I don't know how to do bold letters on this!)

"Cooki3Monst3r

I would have been deeply hurt and offended if one of the people invited to our wedding hadn't come. But that's because we only invited our immediate families and our few best friends. "

It is a very small wedding which is why I was hurt… oh well lots of people think I shouldn't care!

I am really close to my family and if we had booked a party for my dad or FIL then a wedding invite came afterwards then I wouldn't go to the wedding.

If I had a wedding invite for a friend we would never organise a party on that date even if it was the actual date of my FILs birthday.

Did she know your wedding date first? Was she invited all day?

Oh itosh - this isn't very nice for you. But, think of it like this, at least you find out now before you buy her nice lunch and have her in your wedding photos. What's the wedding about anyway - marrying your dream man!! x

I was at a wedding a few years ago where quite a few of the guests (including the grooms sister and husband) left early to go to a 40th birthday party of another friend.
RUDE RUDE RUDE. I was horrified
Go to the wedding, it'll be much more fun

loblollyboy I definitely don't agree. One of my close friends couldn't come to our wedding. She's now our son's godmother. It's up to you if you cut off contact with someone because they can't come to your wedding, which is pretty petty imo.

A wedding invitation is an invitation, not a command. You don't have any right to dictate how a friend organises their social life - you can invite, and they can decline. How you react to that is then your choice. Personally, I wouldn't choose to loose a friend over that.

I means loblollyboy, obviously, can't get my formatting right!

To be honest OP, you'll be so busy at the wedding having to talk to everyone and his dog that you honestly won't even notice that your friend isn't there.

Presumably she rang to tell you when you sent out the save the dates - in which case if they have already accepted another invitation, then it's very unreasonable of you to expect them to cancel because of a "better offer".