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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I shouldn't have to justify working part time just because I don't yet have children

133 replies

fecklesswonder · 14/01/2015 12:53

I worked hard in London in my 20s, lived like a student even after getting a decent job.

So come 30 I moved out of the city to a small house that I could afford outright. Seeing as prices are crazy for the next jump up I'm staying put.

As i own outright I want to go down to two days a week, money will be tight but I would be rich in time so its all worthwhile.

Everyone seems to judge me on this.

For work to agree with it I will have to make somthing emotive up.

It doesn't affect anyone else, but everyone always say "what will you do?". Ffs I will do nice things, I'm not some office drone without any hobbies / interests!

OP posts:
LilMissSunshine9 · 15/01/2015 16:47

sorry meant to say yanbu lol oops one typo can make one hell of a difference!

MrsAmaretto · 15/01/2015 16:56

YANBU.
I wish I'd gone part-time before I had kids. If you can afford it - why not? I now work 21hours and do not intend to work any more, hopefully. I earn more in 3 days than many people do in 5, so why not?

3 days is a good balance for me - enough time at work to be in control & contribute meaningfully & plenty of time off.

Could you ask to do 3days a week as a temporary measure to hopefully persuade work that it will work out if long term?

FunkyPeacock · 15/01/2015 17:40

YANBU

As long as you will have enough to live on then it's really no one else's business

I went P/T when I had kids but have no intention of increasing my hours again once the kids have grown up and moved out!

oobedobe · 15/01/2015 17:51

Just be wary that nice things (can) cost money, lots of time but no money would not be a good situation imo. How will you fill your days, staying at home everyday is cheap - but not much fun on your own (as everyone else is working).
Much nicer to have spare cash to travel, do days out, go shopping, go out for lunch/coffee. Why not try 3/4 days working and see how you get on, you might find that is the right balance of 'free-time' vs 'work-time'.

Mocheenee · 15/01/2015 18:16

You have no mortgage, a lovely big dollop in the bank, and good head on your shoulders, would still have a considerable monthly disposable/savable income - - do it!
I am well jealous !! Good luck to you x

morethanpotatoprints · 15/01/2015 18:17

OP, I haven't worked for 23 years and even though I have dc I get stick for it all the time.
They are jealous and if you are a work to live rather than a live to work person then I don't blame you at all.
Time is more important than work, for some people.

LilMissSunshine9 · 15/01/2015 19:46

oobedobe - I don't think its anyone's business really how op will fill her days and you might think its is boring spending everyday at home but some are happy in their own company too and don't need endless activities to keep them busy. So what if OP potters about its her life and her business really - she came here to ask something else and not about how she should fill her time and whether she should cut her hours back etc.

ClashCityRocker · 15/01/2015 20:04

YANBU, life's too short.

At the minute I'm working my arse off so I'm in a position to go part time when I hit forty - at which point will be mortgage free, too, so actually won't have too much of a financial impact.

PixieofCatan · 15/01/2015 20:13

YANBU. I work three days a week. I have health issues (fatigue and chronic pain) which meant that whilst I could just work five/six days a week, even on split/short hours, I could not do anything else outside of work.

So in September I went down to three days (dropped one job) and it's been brilliant! I do extra work as and when I feel like it. Apparently it makes me a slacker to some people Hmm But my boss loves the fact I'm able to be flexible which in turn means that she's flexible with me if I want time off!

We aren't financially stable with a house unlike you though, we scrape by, but it was a calculated decision for DP and I together and we're both reaping the benefits (I'm able to pitch in around the house, we're able to go out and use out National Trust memberships, I'm able to study which benefits us both, etc). It's worth it :)

Chaseface · 15/01/2015 20:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WooWooOwl · 15/01/2015 20:42

Only read OPs posts.

I worked 2.5 days a week for a year before having children, it was fab. Life was really quite nice. I had plenty of things to do and people to see, and I did lots of nice things.

I'm a bit if an enigma to my family as well OP. They cannot understand why I don't spend more on having my house nicer with better furniture, or why I drive a fairly old car. I prefer holidays and experiences, not stuff but apparently that is odd to the older people in my family.

TiredButFine · 15/01/2015 21:17

I am jealous of you- would love to go part time! Love my job but it really tires me out.
Sound your employer out about what would fit in for them- not having a "reason" for going part time puts you in a better position to negotiate hours/days that suit you both, flexible if needed and employing another part timer for those 3 days is not so hard. Finding someone to work 2 days...thats tough. Too many people make the mistake of writing flexible working requests like a begging letter about why they want to change their hours. It's actually not important "why", what's important is "how" and if both sides can benefit IYSWIM

hiccupgirl · 15/01/2015 21:57

Go for it if you're financially set up.

But I would go for 3 rather than 2 days. I originally went back to work after maternity leave for 2 days and I hated it. Everything was disjointed and I felt out of the loop at work all the time. I'd just get into the swing of the week and then I was off again. I found 3 days much better - I was more in touch with what was going on and it was just more me.

I have no intention of every working full time again tbh. I have got the excuse of a child to look after but I wished I known how great it is working part time before I had him.

blueshoes · 15/01/2015 22:39

LittleMissSunshine: "yabu and people who comment about whether you will get bored would probably stop working themselves if they could."

I disagree with that. I wouldn't stop working even if I won the lottery. I know I will be bored because I have been on 2 long maternity leaves and I was bored. 3 weeks leave is not the same as 3 or 30 years leave. I love holidays but I don't need or want endless free time because that would be like marking time.

But I am just talking about me, of course. OP might be different.

LilMissSunshine9 · 15/01/2015 23:16

Hence why I said 'would probably' as I know not ALL would.

mindthegap79 · 16/01/2015 10:57

If you can afford it, do it! Work to live, not live to work.

Metalgoddess · 17/01/2015 10:53

Ignore negative comments, it's your life and if 2 days a week are enough financially for you then do it! We can all look at "what ifs" and no one would be able to do anything. I work 2 days a week, I do have 2 dcs though but never intend to work full time again.However my dh does work full time but that is out of choice and I had already got a mortgage and was supporting myself on 3 days a week before we met. I appreciate circumstances may change which mean I would have to work full time but my intention is to stay part time forever! I don't earn loads (£16 per hour) but the reason why I took on a relatively small mortgage, and didn't use credit cards/loans etc was to enable me to live on a part time wage. I had effectively set myself up that way. I get many negative comments even with having dcs but I don't care, working 2 days a week makes me happy and I don't get bored! I'm time rich and think that time is so precious which seems to have got forgotten in today's society. There is more to life than working 5+days per week, having big houses/cars etc. Go for it, hope work agree and let you drop your hours!

Summergarden · 17/01/2015 20:25

Good for you, there is more to life than slaving away for an employer. I work 2 days a week since having kids, but don't plan to ever increase them. I have a long list of hobbies and other things I love doing but never have time, when the kids are older I will make time then and am sure I will never get bored.

Flomple · 17/01/2015 21:07

No you don't have to justify it, but I couldn't tell a massive great lie to my employers about it. To do it with a clear conscience, I'd have to be honest about it or go jobhunting for a PT role.

And I would consider the pension implications very carefully indeed.

nooka · 17/01/2015 21:30

It seems a financially risky decision to me. It's great that you have some savings and a valuable asset, but your retirement plan of just not stopping working is at least a little unrealistic, as is the idea that your lump sum would supply all your needs for ten years (unless you missed out a zero). Even if you had 100K saved that's only 10K a year which would be at the very least very uncomfortable.

Plus if you lie to your current employer in order to cut down to such minimal hours then I can't imagine your employment future is going to be very secure unless you have very very shortage skills.

whippy33 · 17/01/2015 21:42

How many ppl would ask a parent the same questions being asked on this post? If they would get bored (obviously only parents have things to do with their time)? Can't be arsed working or could support themselves if they got laid off? I suspect not many!
I worked full time since I got unfairly dismissed last summer. I was in a job where I earned good money but had little opportunity to spend it because I worked double my contracted hours (this was expected). Since i went part time I get asked these things a lot. However, my family all now say I am a different person who is less stressed. I get asked time and time again if I have enough money. I also get asked why I decided to go part time, I usually ask the same back because it mostly comes from ppl who, at some point, worked part time with a young family.
I don't live on the breadline but I have enough and I now feel like I am living life. I don't understand why it should only be parents who have the benefit of part time working hours to 'enjoy' their life and why their time is more important than a childless person's. Everyone had a right to enjoy their life regardless of their circumstances. Go part time if you feel its right and do all the things you want to do in life. Good luck to you and fingers crossed your manager ok's it.

evelynj · 17/01/2015 22:00

Good Lord in heaven, please do it. I work pt now but have 2 dc so spend the rest of the time looking after them & doing chores. Get a list if books to read, films to watch, places to see & things to learn, try etc. throw yourself into the time you've earned-it's basically a mini early retirement as you were lucky & worked harder at the start of your career. I'm same as no mortgage-it's a great feeling & I have no stress working for min wage for a charity. So much better than the full time well paid corporate job I had before.

I can't stand people who say 'I wouldn't want to win the lottery, it's too much money'. Wtf? Bring it on & you just need to remember to be grateful & careful, (free books from library). Really enjoy the time, explore & get to know yourself better :)

tilbatilba · 17/01/2015 22:07

I did exactly this in my late 20's having worked flat out for a few years and then bought a house outright in the country. It was wonderful to have time to volunteer, do interesting short courses, garden, have a more creative life. I didn't miss the money ...needed less as I saved on work clothes, petrol ....grew my own food etc etc. Don't think I would ever want to go back to full time - too many interesting things to do.

alittlethyme · 18/01/2015 10:19

Most employers would not give you pt unless you have children. I told a little white lie to get mine , said sister was going back to work and I was going to look after her children. I have done this quite a few times last year, but not every week.

Norfolkandchance1234 · 18/01/2015 10:24

Yanbu I have lots of friends who are part time with no particular reason other than they want to and do not have children.

Also by going part time you are then opening up another part time role to fill your hours for someone else possibly a parent who is desperately looking for the perfect PT role which you have now created.

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