Is this a harsh thing to do with a toddler? Did I do the wrong thing?

[dottytablecloth]

Can't work out if this will be good in the long run or if I might cause my ds unnecessary distress.

I have an almost 2 year old and an almost 5 week old. Baby is obviously up through the night for feeding and is very unsettled from around 7 each night so come the morning, I'm tired!

Toddler wakes very early between 5.00 and 6.30; if it's 6.30 I really feel like I've had a lie in.

Anyway the 5.00am starts are tough when I've been up several times with the baby and to be honest I don't enjoy the days with my toddler as I'm totally exhausted.

This morning he woke at 5.00 and I was just too tired to get up. Normally we get up and have a bottle and play etc. I just couldn't face it this morning. We've tried bringing him into our bed but he hates this.

I decided I was going to let him cry for a little while this morning, just needed another 15/20 mins before I could face getting up. I heard him crying in the background but I must've fallen into a deep sleep and I didn't waken until 8.15!

I went straight over to ds room, he was sitting up, looked a little tearful but not awful. I explained (not that he has a clue what I meant) that he woke up too early and it's time to get up now not earlier.

We normally get up as soon as we hear him so he will definitely wonder what's going on.

Is it a bit harsh to think I might let him cry for a while in the morning until it's a reasonable time to get up? He's not a tiny baby now, so he should possibly be learning to stay in bed for a while in the morning?

Am I being hard hearted?

If I do this I will set for alarm for 6.45 and then get up rather than make him wait so long as he did today.

I think it was harsh. Sorry, he's almost 2, not almost 3 and he's dealing with a new baby in the house. Not having a go,I know what a bugger sleep deprivation can be though, but could DP and you not take turns?

I would get up with him, put cbeebies on, put some food and a drink out and doze on the sofa myself.

You were not at all harsh. He and you can't get up at 5am - that's absolutely ludicrous. I have 2dc - 2 yrs and 1 yr. the older one gets up at 5 but I just put her in our bed and go back to sleep. If your ds doesn't like your bed then you or your DP will have to re-settle him. You cant revolve everything around your toddler! I do not and could not get up before 7.30!
What time does he go to bed?

The DH works, he leaves at 4am. OP is up and down all night with a baby and has been functioning on little sleep because the toddler wakes at 5am. It's completely unworkable! Screw being harsh to the 2 yo, which it's not, harsh would be OP accidentally falling asleep on the sofa leaving 2 small children unsupervised.

Whack out the glo clock dotty, now is the perfect time. He will be completely fine - 5am is way too early for anyone, 2 year olds included.

I echo others, he can't have been that bad, I'm sure even through sheer exhaustion you would have heard him, or neighbours would and would have been knocking on your door!
I wouldn't do it again though if you can help it (I know you are exhausted, so easier said than done)
My DD was an early riser and I gave her books and soft toys to play with in the morning.

I've never had a gro clock, so can't comment, but if you have one it's certainly got to be worth a go, other posters seem to highly recommend it!

Honestly, no it's not ideal to have left him IF he was distressed (I doubt he was though) BUT don't judge yourself too harshly! You are trying to adapt to your new life with a toddler and a newborn. It will take time.
Be kind to yourself. If you can find any cheats to help you along the way then you should so use them.

He probably went back to sleep. As long as the room safe, he can't get out a d hes not getting in a state its fine.

You are a person, not a robot.

Could you ask your dp to carry him quietly through to your bed when he leaves? Would he sleep longer in your bed?

I have never taken mine downstairs at 5am, that is still during the night. He woke up during the night, you went back to sleep until morning, that's all. I don't leave my children to cry but at 2 they have known to play quietly in their room until I get up at 7.30, or come and doze in our bed - but 5am definitely isn't playtime!

You've done nothing wrong and I'm sure as pp have said that he fell back asleep.

It's fine Dotty.

Leave him to grizzle/play until a time that suits you, he'll soon learn that. 5am isn't 'getting up time' and is just a bit boring, he'll go back to sleep or play.

Do not start getting up with him. That way madness lies!

DS went through a short patch of 5am waking, and I was less than amused. I did put some books or small toys in the corner of his cot after he went to sleep, and a sippy cup of water. I'd go in, tell him it was still night time, put his blanket back on, then go out again. He'd sometime whinge for a little while, but more often than not he'd go back to sleep. He'd also wake up, find the toys, and quite happily play with them for a bit. Now he's fantastic, will wake up, but never gets upset, he either plays for a while or goes back to sleep. Don't beat yourself up over it. There's some perfect parents that jump as soon as their child so much as makes a peep, but the rest of us are human and just doing the best we can.

Midnite. What you did was 'perfect', amusing oneself & settling oneself to sleep are life lessons. Being pandered to, not so much.