to think that someone has been in our house while we've been out

[thatniceperson]

I may sound like I'm being irrational but I'm genuinely quite scared so please go easy on me...
Just got back from an afternoon out and returned to find a light on that was definitely off when we left. God, it sounds so pathetic when written down. I was the last out of the house, all the lights were off. 100% sure they were off.
Can lights randomly switch on by themselves?!
This is a bit scarier as a while ago my partners' keys went missing. We didn't get the locks changed (I forgot about it cos we have a spare set of keys he started using when he lost them). Someone could easily have got in.

Both of those things might be nothing (are probably nothing) but there is someone from my past who I am scared of finding me and this stupid light is scaring me.
It sounds so petty but don't weirdos do this kind of thing, try and creep you out by doing little meaningless things? Move stuff, just generally 'be' in your house as a form of control?
I'm generally a rational, grounded person but I'm terrified it's him who has found out where I live and is planning some sort of revenge.

Has anyone experienced anything like this? Can you report even minor things like this if you think someone might be intentionally trying to scare you?

....And if its a ghost it can fuck right off...

Can I ask how DP's keys went missing? Was it from inside the house, or while he was out?

Yes I know it is very telling of how anxious I must be.
It's so embarrassing ' why are you worried someone came into your house?'
' oh there was a light on when I got home'

but I know that it was off when I left so I'm not crazy

He has no idea how he lost them, we had to look through text message history to work out the first time he said ' I've not got my keys, please let me in '

Call the police! Just to be safe.

Before I had any kids and had never even had a child in my house, I cleaned my kitchen and lounge and polished my glass coffee table.

Went out for a few hours and came back to the middle door open (I always closed it to stop the cats sleeping on my bed) and a tiny gubby handprint on my coffee table, a child's whole handprint. I felt really scared. Still don't know how it happened!

I once came home (lived alone) and picked up my post off the floor and when I looked at my mobile phone bill the letter had been put inside the envelope with the address not showing in the little window in the front. I thought "how the hell did the postman know it was my phone bill, there is no name or address showing?".

Then it hit me, my unhinged ex boyfriend must have copied my key without me knowing and was coming into my house and reading my post! Presumably he was checking I wasn't seeing anyone else.

I changed the locks and it resulted in him breaking in one night when I was in bed.

Get an alarm fitted and set it even when you are in the house upstairs. Wireless alarm systems now are very good and easy to install.

RoyalSighness

If your inlaws own the house, is it possible that some one they know has a set of keys? another child/brother/sister of PIL, etc and they are letting themselves in under instruction of ILs? Odd how you think someone was in your home whika at ILs? How is your relationship with them?

I'd change the locks simply because you lost a set of keys. If cost is a factor you don't always have to change the whole lock but can just change the barrel which start from about £15 in b&q.

Very good relationship with my pils/sil/bil. All lovely normal people.
My sister was worried it could be my mum, I don't have a good relationship with her. I don't even know if she's in the UK. My mum has been unstable in the past and I've worried that she might hurt me or the children. She's extremely unstable at the moment and I am a bit scared she'll turn up at my house out of the blue.
I sound so paranoid, honestly, I'm not actually a paranoid person!
Thinking something like ' I'm worried my mum might try and hurt me or my children' sounds crazy to a person with a normal mum but me and my sister speak about it very openly and it doesn't feel weird, not nice at all
Anyway, I really doubt its her.
Too far fetched! But another reason to up my security!

If I ever were to lose my keys I would immediately change the lock.

It's so easy/cheap there's no reason not to.

I changed the locks myself when I moved in here. As a PP said, nip down to B&Q/Homebase and buy a new barrel for £20 ish.

It's dead easy. Watch a YouTube video to show you how to measure and change the barrel. It's a five minute job requiring a Philips screwdriver and no skill whatsoever!

Royalsighness creeeeepyyyy! I think I would have cried if that happened to me!

Buzzard hope you're well rid of the mental ex

And to everyone who has someone in their life that they now have to fear

Thanks, I think I will try and do it myself to save a few quid! It's a Yale lock and I'm quite good at diy (proud) so I'll give it a go. The front door is more complicated. Might have to get someone out for that.
Fortunately my dad is very kind and is always trying to help us out with money so if it costs a fair bit I can ask him to help.

Change the locks, it will be worth it just for peace of mind.

Please don't do the stretching hair/cotton thing, if it's damp they can break and you will drive yourself mad.

Is your mum the one you're worried about or is there someone else, I wasn't sure upon reading it sorry. You can always let your local police station know, my force have said they can put an alert on your house to prioritise any contact from vulnerable people.

I sympathise, I have had someone looking for me, I don't have any social media presence at all and had to let my employers know for press releases etc.

Like someone else, I had a shower turn on by itself and wake me, in a ground floor flat in the early hours when I was on my own (and after a period of silent phone calls). I can still remember now the absolute terror I felt, I did the classic horror film stupidity of going to look, it was as though I couldn't stop myself. I still don't know why I did this. Of course there was no one there. I think it was just an electric trip or fault, but I still had to move, couldn't sleep there again! I feel a bit sick writing this.

Please change your locks and get an alarm, just for your own reassurance!

Thank you person. If you don't go for the alarm maybe get a chain on the door that you can put on at night?
Don't mean to frighten you but some people don't like it when you stop them letting themselves into your house.

Rudeactually it must be horrible to feel unsafe in your own home.

Just to clarify; my mum's a bit weird and there's a guy from my past who I don't want to come across ever again. Double whammy of drama!
I doubt its either, it's so far fetched I'm beginning to question my own sanity.

That's the problem isn't it...it feels so....dramatic..doesn't it, as though you're in a film or something, I know what you mean. That's why I wouldn't do the hair/cotton thing as you could make yourself feel worse. I think all you can do is make yourself as secure as possible by changing locks (would your dad pay for an alarm?) and then, if you feel safer, it might be easier to relax.

I seem to remember the police saying they would come and do a risk assessment for intruders type of thing on my home, but this was a long time ago. Might be worth contacting them?

Just to reassure you a bit, mine was a long time ago and although I don't have social media, I don't worry about it on a day to day basis now ( it's on my mind at the moment I think due to all the convicted rapist Ched Evans threads) but I don't feel that anxiousness that I used to have all the time. It does feel like it's in the past for me even though he's probably still out there somewhere.

So it does get easier with time, but in the meantime, take all the positive action you can to make yourself feel safer (locks, alarm etc). Please don't worry about your own sanity, I think if you take action you may feel a bit better. And talk out loud to people, mn is great for support but I think actusly voicing your fears out loud to someone really helps ease the worry and cuts it down to size a bit more.