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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that someone has been in our house while we've been out

66 replies

thatniceperson · 11/01/2015 20:38

I may sound like I'm being irrational but I'm genuinely quite scared so please go easy on me...
Just got back from an afternoon out and returned to find a light on that was definitely off when we left. God, it sounds so pathetic when written down. I was the last out of the house, all the lights were off. 100% sure they were off.
Can lights randomly switch on by themselves?!
This is a bit scarier as a while ago my partners' keys went missing. We didn't get the locks changed (I forgot about it cos we have a spare set of keys he started using when he lost them). Someone could easily have got in.

Both of those things might be nothing (are probably nothing) but there is someone from my past who I am scared of finding me and this stupid light is scaring me.
It sounds so petty but don't weirdos do this kind of thing, try and creep you out by doing little meaningless things? Move stuff, just generally 'be' in your house as a form of control?
I'm generally a rational, grounded person but I'm terrified it's him who has found out where I live and is planning some sort of revenge.

Has anyone experienced anything like this? Can you report even minor things like this if you think someone might be intentionally trying to scare you?

....And if its a ghost it can fuck right off...

OP posts:
CatThiefKeith · 11/01/2015 21:27

Something v similar happened to us last year, except it was lit candles.

Dh was convinced I had done it myself, but I managed to convince him to change the locks anyway and nothing has happened since.

Our house is a new build, but when you consider how many workmen probably handled the keys it could have been anyone.

Dsis once had an issue with a rented house. It was previously rented by 4-5 men, and one night she thought heard Bil come home at 2am. He actually came in at 3am, but the following morning the huge pile of post for the previous occupants that had accumulated on her kitchen work tops has disappeared! Shock

Change the locks, you will drive yourself crazy otherwise.

Original poster
thatniceperson · 11/01/2015 21:36

Thanks for replies everyone, and thank you for not saying ' you weirdo stop overthinking things' Blush

I'm getting my locks changed tomorrow. Can't believe I didn't do it as soon as my partner realised he'd lost them.

I'm so sure I didn't leave the light on because when I was leaving I distinctly remember thinking ' shall I leave a light on so its nice and homely for when we get home?' And I thought 'NO, cos its bad for the environment and the electricity bills '
God, the inner workings of my mind are so dull...

The house we live in is owned by my in laws, we were having dinner over at there's this afternoon so couldn't have been them letting themselves in.

We left the house at dusk so it was dark enough to notice if I'd left a light on.
The type of light is a regular overhead light with a regular switch.
Another thing is I have an irrational hatred of overhead lights and I never ever use them cos I find them depressing (bloody hell, all of mn now knows of my weird light hatred!)
So that's why it felt so odd to see it on when I walked upstairs.
I'm looking out for anything else that isn't it's correct place...

I am trying to not let myself get worked up about this person from my past. Going to look into improving our security. Thanks for everyone suggestions.

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 11/01/2015 21:50

If it's a Yale lock, I think you can just replace the barrel which isn't too expensive.

MehsMum · 11/01/2015 21:53

I would change the locks, if a set of keys has gone missing and you have someone in your past you'd like to keep out of your life.

I say this despite knowing that electrical equipment can 'switch itself on'. A friend of ours was once at home with her baby in the evening, with her husband out, and she rang us in a huge panic because her stereo had suddenly started playing downstairs when she was upstairs with the baby. DH assured her over the phone that it was almost certainly fine, because these things can happen (he explained to me how at the time, but I have zero science background), but I iirc he still went round to check her basement and make sure she was okay.

And she was.

AntiHop · 11/01/2015 22:07

I agree with pp to log it with police.

My neighbours got home one evening to find stuff missing but no sign of a break in. The only explanation was that a previous tenant had let themselves in with keys. They changed the locks straight away.

Marcipex · 11/01/2015 23:06

Check everywhere big enough to hide a person.
Change locks asap.

Having said that, our shower switched itself on a while ago. DH and I nearly jumped out of our skins. We turn if off with both switches now.

Fingeronthebutton · 11/01/2015 23:16

One way to check without anyone seeing is to leave a hair in the door jam.
No one would see it. But you would know if it's gone.

Inthedarkaboutfashion · 11/01/2015 23:41

If it's a Yale lock, I think you can just replace the barrel which isn't too expensive.

Even mortice locks and five lever UPVC locks are easy to change, I have changed both myself and I am not a DIY expert by any means.

MerryInthechelseahotel · 11/01/2015 23:53

I would make sure there are no hidden cameras anywhere! Sorry to give you a glimpse into my paranoid mind Grin

recall · 11/01/2015 23:57

Go with your gut feeling...

Marcipex · 11/01/2015 23:59

Horrible thought Merry.

rollonthesummer · 12/01/2015 00:00

Get an alarm.

rollonthesummer · 12/01/2015 00:01

What other keys were on your partner's key ring?

MerryInthechelseahotel · 12/01/2015 00:01

I do think about this a lot, with a bit of reason. You are right,it's a horrid thought.

GreyjoysAnatomy · 12/01/2015 00:16

I once came home to half a packet of eggs and some veg on my couch. I think a ghostie wanted me to make an omelette

Definitely change the locks Smile

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 12/01/2015 03:02

Change the locks, but get some cotton and put it across the door.

If someone has been in and you think may return then the cotton will be broken.

Buttercup27 · 12/01/2015 06:25

We had a power surge the other day that turned a light on, TV off and alarm clocks flash (all in different rooms) . With all the wind atm maybe this happened to you?

olafisking · 12/01/2015 06:31

Check where your spare car keys are. We had a burglary like this, they had broken in but not taken much. Three days later the car went, and we realised they had taken the spare keys but must have been scared off. That kind of burglary is quite common apparently and if you have a decent car it would be worth their while to keep coming back.

magimedi · 12/01/2015 07:41

Glad you are changing the locks.

I also loathe overhead lights & will only use them for an instant whilst turning on nice, soft glow table lamps.

Original poster
thatniceperson · 12/01/2015 08:39

Been speaking to my sister about it and she's convinced its like the beginning of some tacky itv drama Grin
I remembered something last night, about a month ago I remember hearing the back door close by itself at an unusual time in the morning while I was having a lie in with the children, my partner leaves very early in the morning and I thought at the time it was him leaving unusually late. Texted him at the time to ask and he said he must have forgotten to close the door and the wind slammed it shut.
According to my texts he lost his keys the day before that happened Sad Shock
....or maybe it really was just the wind...

Also, I've come home a few times to find the back door on the latch, I never go out through the back door and I'm always checking it's locked but when I come back it's open.
Trying to not let my imagination run wild but something just feels very odd...

OP posts:
AgathaF · 12/01/2015 08:56

Get the locks changed and maybe stick a bolt on the inside of each door too. Do it this morning.

Original poster
thatniceperson · 12/01/2015 09:07

I'm on it Smile

OP posts:
rollonthesummer · 12/01/2015 09:08

God-if I'd got someone from my past who I thought was looking for me and we'd lost a set of keys, I would not be able to sleep until the locks were all changed.

Phone the police as well-if what you suspect is true, whoever it is knows where you live and your exact comings and goings?!

What other keys were on the keyring?

Original poster
thatniceperson · 12/01/2015 09:35

I know, its so stupid that I didn't get them changed. I suppose its because we have another set and we just kind of forgot that his actual set had gone missing.
No other keys on the key ring, we don't have a car as we're pretty poor Grin

this situation has encouraged me to sort out my family's personal security.
I already deleted my Facebook, twitter and instagram are set to private so no linking me to my current home town (I moved from where he thinks I lives)
I feel a bit paranoid thinking this person could find me but it does happen and that's what scares me Sad

OP posts:
MinceSpy · 12/01/2015 09:47

The fact that you find an unexpected light on and immediately think someone is playing mind games with you shows how anxious you are. Changing the locks is essential for your peace of mind.

My husband always forgets to turn bathroom light off but then denies it. It's any easy mistake to make.

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