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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to wish health anxiety didn't exist?

67 replies

mdpis3 · 11/01/2015 20:14

I have a list of conditions and diseases I should worry more about and I definitely have a full plate with the health issues of my DD who is mentally and physically disabled but as well as that, every lump, every mole that isn't perfectly formed...it causes me such panic and anxiety Hmm both breast cancer and malignant melanoma feature heavily in my immediate family so they are always at the forefront of everyone's mind but my goodness I wish I could stop obsessing about every new little bump or blurry edged mole Hmm

Am I alone in these fears? Do others have these same fears? They are definitely worse since becoming a Mum nearly 7 years ago but AIBU to wish I could just stop worrying about the unknown?

OP posts:
MumoftheBoyandtheGirl · 11/01/2015 20:23

I totally understand where you are coming from. I have asked the doctors so many to check moles and things. I have been really bad this weekend actually with checking, yesterday I had checked my breasts over 10 times by 3pm. I hate it, I'm on constant fear and no one understands. I don't have any answers I just wanted you to know that you're not on your own.

GaryShitpeas · 11/01/2015 20:23

Yanbu

I have it too Sad

I found a lump last year, turned out to be nothing but had to have tests etc and I have never got over the sheer terror I felt

And now I live in fear of something like that happening again Sad

Tinkerball · 11/01/2015 20:27

Yes, I've got worse over the years, I get sore wrists and numb heads and worry about all sorts of things, I'm also worse with my DH. He's currently waiting on blood tests and I've convinced myself the worst case scenario. It's spoiled my weekend.

Tinkerball · 11/01/2015 20:28

Numb hands obviously, only got one head!

treaclesoda · 11/01/2015 20:33

I'm with you. I've always been a worrier but after the birth of my first child the anxiety hit me like a sledge hammer. Constant palpitations and shaking with fear, imagining that I was terminally ill, dh was terminally ill, dd was terminally ill. I've never been the same since tbh and will probably be on anti anxiety medication for the rest of my life. But I don't care, as the medication is what allows me to live a semi normal life.

GaryShitpeas · 11/01/2015 20:36

Mines been since having dc as well

I wonder if it's connected?

Doobydoo · 11/01/2015 20:39

Me too...it is awful.Go through phases and dp has to reassure me.Exhausting at times.

JohnCusacksWife · 11/01/2015 20:41

The first night I came home from the hospital after having my DD I spent half the night awake in a panic about post partum thrombosis. Ever since I've had episodes of real anxiety about my health. I know, intellectually, that there's nothing wrong with me but sometimes the anxiety starts to bubble over. The only way I can deal with it is to tell myself, very sternly, that there's nothing wrong with me and I'm being ridiculous. So far that's worked and fingers crossed it will continue to be enough. I'm no psychologist but I can only guess that my anxiety is linked to the overwhelming feeling of responsibility for my children. It's a horrible feeling though and you have my sympathies.

MorelliOrRanger · 11/01/2015 20:42

I was diagnosed with M melanoma in 2012 when my dd was 10 weeks old. It was caught really early, and I've been discharged from hospital with annuals now done at my gp, but I have real anxiety issues now about it to the point I've been referred to therapy for coping mechanisms. Sad

ssd · 11/01/2015 20:43

mine has gone crazy since my mum died

Methe · 11/01/2015 20:47

Yanbu :( I was terribly afflicted as part of PTSD after having my son. It was the worst 2 years of my life and I wouldn't wish HA on anybody.

Ime you need a very good dr, some antidepressant and the ability to stand by the decision that Dr Google is not going to be consulted, not ever.

I've been better bar the odd relapse for 3 years and I still don't google anything to do with health.. Not even if I think it's going to be completely innocuous.

MorelliOrRanger · 11/01/2015 20:50

I never ever ever Google anything health related either.

MagicMojito · 11/01/2015 20:50

Awful isn't it! I live in constant fear of EVERYTHING. Its definitely gotten worse since having children. I convince myself at least once a day that one of us is terminally ill. Mumsnet makes me 10x worse. You read other posters tragic stories and suddenly realise how vulnerable we all areare.

Alphonso · 11/01/2015 20:53

These kinds of fears/anxieties are very common, sadly. But on the upside usually treatable. Have you tried any therapy/counselling?

MagicMojito · 11/01/2015 20:55

I don't understand the not googleing thing. I HAVE to google. Surely its easier to pick symptoms up sooner and hopefully have an earlier diagnosis of and a better chance of recovery. Knowledge is power, and all that.

treaclesoda · 11/01/2015 20:55

my Dr and CBT therapist told me it could be another form of postnatal depression. It was all noted on my maternity notes when I was pregnant the second time, and was referred to often to see how I was coping. They did take it very seriously and started me back on medication a few weeks after the birth when I felt the same familiar fear descending.

Methe · 11/01/2015 20:58

You're just fuelling the fire magic, honestly, don't do it.

CrohnicallyCold · 11/01/2015 21:01

magicmojito the problem is, almost everything could be a symptom of a serious disease, and if you have anxiety you can make yourself have extra symptoms to fit whatever it is you think you have.

CrohnicallyCold · 11/01/2015 21:12

I have general anxiety rather than specific health anxiety, but even so I convince myself that I have various diseases. If something really is a known symptom of , there'll probably be a health campaign about it. Like with the non-blanching rash and meningitis/septicaemia. Of course having that known symptom doesn't automatically mean you have the disease, but it does need checking out.

The problem with anecdotal 'data' like on Mumsnet, is you don't know what is coincidence and what isn't.

OopsButItWasntMe · 11/01/2015 21:14

I had awful anxiety for a few years. Turns out it can be brought on by deficiencies in various different vitamins/minerals and when I started taking supplements it stopped very quickly. It started after my first and got worse after my second. I maybe wasn't getting enough of whatever vitamins I needed during pregnancy. Might be worth a try for you. I feel like a different person.

SnowWhiteAteTheApple · 11/01/2015 21:15

I think the fear of leaving your children without their parent is horrendous and the anxiety that can bring is truly awful.

Google makes things worse so I agree with not doing it. The news and threads on here re bad news and illness can stir things up again.

The sensible side tries to fight it but the physical symptoms it can bring are terrifying and not easily overcome.

paddyclampo · 11/01/2015 21:20

I have it too, particularly when it comes to cancer. Every niggle / blemish turns into cancer in my mind. That or some sort of organ failure.

I find any sort of investigation particularly stressful. Eg I'd rather go and have a nasty /painful procedure such as a root canal, rather than a check up that is looking for a problem!

I find a website called nomorepanic helpful sometimes.

CrohnicallyCold · 11/01/2015 21:23

oops you see, that's the kind of thing I convince myself I have, based on anecdotes such as yours- you had anxiety and also a deficiency, therefore my anxiety must be caused by the same thing, right?

But I've had my blood tested for deficiencies in most things (as I have Crohn's disease, my gastroenterologist was happy to oblige). Nothing came back, but googling suggested that the blood tests for some things aren't all that reliable. So I started taking supplements just in case. It made no difference, and now I stick to taking a regular multivitamin with iron (as iron deficiency is something that has been confirmed on a couple of occasions) and vitamin D (as I have a couple of risk factors for vitamin D deficiency).

HappySunflower · 11/01/2015 21:25

Me too.... Especially since having my daughter.
I'm considering counselling. I am able to rationally deal with most other worries that exist in life but health really gets to me- when you're a parent its bound to I think.

Sallystyle · 11/01/2015 21:27

I have it too, really severely.

I am so fucking tired of it, so tired of thinking I am going to die every day. So tired of either checking my body or not wanting to shower incase I find anything. My husband is sick of me asking him to check me for signs.

It got worse when my children lost their father (my ex) a year ago to cancer.

Currently worrying about tonsil cancer as I have one bigger than the other. GP checked twice a year ago and said it was fine and it hasn't grown anymore, but still think it is cancer again this week.

I no longer google but sadly I did in the past so there isn't much I don't know the symptoms of.

I have been twice in a month for the same mole, I now put foundation on my moles when I wake up so I don't have to look at them.

I have had times where I was just a weeping mess on the floor and could barely function. I do therapy, I'm on meds, I try not to seek reassurance as much. I could write a book on what I am meant to be doing, but sometimes I am just not strong enough.

Thanks to my friends