WIBU to say I wasn't happy with nursery?

[weeinmyshoes]

This has been bugging me. I collected DD from her nursery yesterday. She had been in a new room for the first time as a settling in session before she moves up.

She has been reliably dry for the past three weeks 90% but obviously is at the 'tail end of toilet training'. In this room she had two accidents (this I'm ok with, I understand it is different for her. The toilet is in a different place and there a new exciting distractions) BUT

The nursery has a policy of wearing slippers indoors. They allowed my DD (in the new room) to wear her new shoes. They are a pair of leather clarks shoes. She has worn them twice between home and nursery doors. The member of staff said she had wee wee'd in her shoes. I asked why did she have them on. I was told one of her slippers is missing I said I wasnt happy about this. They handed me the shoes that had been drying out under a radiator and put them in a bag. At this stage I assumed the shoes were soiled and possibly ruined. I wasnt sure if I could clean them. They did not say if they had cleaned them. So I said again' I wasnt happy as they were expensive shoes.'

I do not put my child in anything I am not prepared to have damaged or ruined due to messy play outdoor play. My understanding was the shoes were not being worn indoors due to their slipper policy.

The deputy manager rang me to say she had a very upset member of staff in tears because I had been rude. I do not feel I was rude. I did not get ranty or accusatory or raise my voice in any way. I just simply said twice I was not happy about a pair of soiled shoes. I explained this to the deputy manager. I also said I was not aware of missing slippers (that they have lost) which I could have replaced. I did say I was sorry to hear the member of staff was upset. She also told me that the shoes had only walked through the wee - this is not what was said to me at handover.

1. WIBU to have said I wasnt happy about the soiled shoes to member of staff

1. AIBU now to been feeling uncomfortable after the phone call - it makes me feel like I shouldnt say anything about whatever in future!

1. WWYD would you apologise or smooth it over or just go in and smile and get on it with.

Yanbu. The nursery is a business and you are a customer. The phone call
Should have been about appeasing you not the staff member - how unprofessional!
Dd2 will be potty training later this year when she can wear crocs all the time. Dd1 was in kickers when she potty trained and I regret that. Her shoes were wrecked from accidents at home and nursery.
However my nursery has a slipper policy too and if there are no slippers the kids are indoors in their socks (I know this because obstinate dd2 won't wear slippers)
I think your nursery need to sort themselves out a bit I don't think you were in the wrong

Crocs are best for potty training as they just wash off easily.

Aw mate, you really aren't that parent. My sister kicked off at nursery because she'd sent dn in with two separate changes of clothes, and following a wee accident they dressed her in the top from outfit A and the trousers from outfit B...

Thanks for reassurances lenny and wots

I think most parents with DC at nursery think at some point that they might be "that parent". I know I've thought it. But I'm friends with DD's first keyworker and she says those parents are really something else and you wouldn't believe what they get fussed over.

the shoes will be fine. dd2 had an accident wandering round playing in dd1's school shoes. Dd1 was but forgot after a couple of days

I think its a bit strange to have her in shoes or slippers inside, dont young children automatically take shoes off?

Just to reassure you further, I have dealt with many incidences of wee in Clarks shoes and none of them have been ruined. Many Clarks toddler shoes are sold as machine washable.

I think over rreaction on both sides.

I'm also kind of happy to see the nursery manager decided to stick up for her staff. Its quite shocking to see the way that some parents stomp in and speak/rage at teachers/nursery staff and no one tells them to speak politely. When you go to hospitals there are signs everywhere asking people to be polite etc, perhaps these are needed in educational establishments too

Op, we all have moments that make us cringe when we reflect on them, I think that yes, if you go in and quietly say to the member of staff that you are sorry for overreacting, you realise that these things happen and you don't usually come out with such stuff, make it lighthearted and smile a lot, I'm sure this will put her at ease and help things get back to normal.

Telling the staff member twice that you are 'not happy' about it would come across as quite confrontational as it isn't really constructive/ is just stating the obvious and there isn't much they can do after the fact. Things get lost as nursery (she could have lost the slipper that day?) and things get peed on, staff don't have time to be cleaning soiled items which is why they just get stuffed in a bag for you to deal with. It does seem that you were unnecessarily rude/ mean to the staff member about a very trivial matter. Rinse the shoes at home, replace the slippers and if they find her old one you have spares. Pee isn't going to do any more harm than water so I honestly don't see why you weren't happy with them?

Wee you are not that parent as long as you let it lie now and relax a bit about nursery. The trick is to not send them in in anything that you don't won't stained or lost. Shoes are trickier, but I think every parent has dealt with wee in shoes plenty of times. Small items get lost temporarily but generally turn up - often in some one else's bag etc School uniform later gets lost / stolen / ruined frequently too !!!