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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU Re parent and child parking

110 replies

BlueSuedeStiletto · 09/01/2015 12:14

Right. I'm fully aware that this is a bit of a contentious issue but...

DSis has broken her leg. Today I took her to the supermarket as she needed a big shop and her DP currently only has a motorbike. Plus, she needed to get out of the house!

We parked in an ordinary space, but she couldn't get out- the cast she's in goes above the knee with a funny metal bendy bit that's not very bendy, so to get in and out she has to open the door fully, sit down and swivel in or out. We needed space to do this so I moved to a parent and child space.

All was fine, she hobbled around the shop very slowly and we got it done. However, once we got back to the car a woman had a massive go at us for using the space. I explained the situation, and she reckoned I should have dropped DSis at the entrance and then parked. To be fair, I did think of that, but she's quite wobbly on the crutches and feeling vulnerable so I didn't really want to leave her alone while I faffed about parking. The woman was really rude and DSis was getting upset- she's fed up and in pain as it is! Angry

It got me thinking though- there are a few situations where you might need extra space- for example when I take my elderly GM and Aunt somewhere they need to have the doors fully open to get in and out- they're not disabled, just old and arthritic!

My point is, I fully understand why parents need the wider spaces and I wouldn't dream of parking in one of I was on my own- but AIBU to think that it's not just parents who need a bit of extra space?

OP posts:
Original poster
BlueSuedeStiletto · 09/01/2015 12:39

slipper yes, as I said in my OP, I could have done but I didn't really want to leave my wobbly, vulnerable, doped up sister on her own while I parked. Going out has been quite a big deal for her, she's not good on the crutches yet and she's scared of people knocking into her and stuff...

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 09/01/2015 12:40

&C space rules.

Craicalack · 09/01/2015 12:40

YANBU!

I have a young toddler and would have no qualms about giving up a space for someone with a broken leg.

I'm also heavily pregnant and have a number of times parked in those spaces (when toddler isn't with me), I need room getting out of the car and if anyone dared pull me up on it they'd be getting a MYOB rant!

munchkin2902 · 09/01/2015 12:41

That's completely reasonable. Some people are ignorant and entitled - don't let her get to you.

icklekid · 09/01/2015 12:44

I think it is a bit unreasonable if it was the last space but understand why you did it. What i don't understand is why she wanted to go shopping?! Surely painful for you all could she not have either done it online or got you to pick up what she needed?

wonkylegs · 09/01/2015 12:47

Exactly what Soupdragon said.
I have RA and don't qualify for a blue badge and spent 9 months on crutches it was far far more difficult in car parks than when DS was a baby and I say that as someone who could barely carry my own child at the time.
Compassion, common sense and perspective sadly often seem to be missing in the modern world Hmm

browneyedgirl86 · 09/01/2015 12:48

Icklekid I imagine she wanted to go to get her out the house, when I tore my ligament I was bored stiff sat around the house all day, I enjoyed any time I got out because it was a change of scenery. Plus the sister had shopping to do if her DH has a bike, maybe she doesn't like shopping online?

I know I dont.

Tyzer85 · 09/01/2015 12:49

icklekid the OP states that her sister wanted to get out of the house.

OP YANBU, the woman who moaned needs a reality check.

Original poster
BlueSuedeStiletto · 09/01/2015 12:51

She did indeed want to leave the house. She's done a couple of online shops since the injury but she's going to be in plaster for at least another 6-8 weeks. She can't stay indoors forever, she'd go nuts!

OP posts:
MsPoodleLover · 09/01/2015 12:54

Soup Dragon, couldnt agree with you more.

I have never understood why parents need special spaces near to the front of the shop. I have 2 children now grown up and they werent invented when mine were small. I once took my very elderly neighbour shopping and parked in a P & C space because she wasnt very steady and I was worried about her falling. A parent said something to me and my reply was 'I do have children, I just dont have them with me'. At risk of being flamed I cant understand why parents seem to want their backsides wiping these days. Having children is not a disability it is a choice. The business in Leeds recently with the disabled chap said it all. I wish I had been on that bus!

LaurieFairyCake · 09/01/2015 12:54

I don't think there should even be parent and child spaces, completely unnecessary - I always used to just park further away to get the kids out.

Not a problem with you parking in them though, they're concessionary unlike disabled spaces. Anyone can park in them, they're unenforceable.

GingerCuddleMonster · 09/01/2015 12:54

you weren't being unreasonable, she was in pain and crutches are hard work on the hands.

I also don't understand the need for the spaces to be right near the door, personally I park quite far away where it's quiet, I ca remove the pram in peace and get a bit of excersise walking to the door.

Number3cometome · 09/01/2015 12:55

I'd have told the woman in no uncertain terms to fuck off.

You do not have to explain yourself to anyone, if she was that bothered she should have gone and complained (not confronted you)

By which time you would have driven off.

Since when did she become the car park police??!!

Biscetti · 09/01/2015 13:01

The woman was a rude twat. Fucking idiots with their P&C preciousness.

Hope your sister is all mended soon.

Sirzy · 09/01/2015 13:04

Of course you were right to use the space. This is why people should think before judging,

DS need for a p and c space is greater now than when he was a baby. He is 5 now and his need is not going to get any less as he gets older. I am hoping to get a blue badger for him eventually but until then I will use p and c spaces when they are available

Johnogroats · 09/01/2015 13:08

Having spent the past week ferrying my little brother (41) around as he has a huge knee brace on, you have my sympathy OP. he tried to get back into the car when space was right and howled in pain.

I have spent considerable periods on crutches and usually found people to be helpful and sympathetic. I didn't dare park in P&C spaces though!

YAnBU. At all.

Johnogroats · 09/01/2015 13:09

Tight! Not right. Doh!

londonrach · 09/01/2015 13:15

I dont think there should be parent and child parking spaces. There ive said it. (Awaits flaming) Sister with her two parked the furthest away she could with space to open door, get pram out, and still does with both under 6 as she said it was safer to walk from the back of the car park than park in the nearer parent and child spaces. (Hides)

londonrach · 09/01/2015 13:16

Forgot to add yanbu

GothicRainbow · 09/01/2015 13:25

I use the P&C spaces when I have my DS with me but mainly because I'm crap at parking and enjoy the extra room to park! Tbh though if those spaces aren't available/carpark doesn't have them then it doesn't bother me in the slightest, getting DS out of the car isn't a problem.

I think YANBU OP, I had to use crutches for nearly 6 months when getting over a head/ear injury and at that time a P&C space would have been invaluable to me as they were near shop entrances and wide enough for me to be able to get out of the car.

fluffymouse · 09/01/2015 13:26

Yanbu

What pisses me off though is young 20 somethings with sports cars (that you have to be physically able to get in and out of) parking in these spaces.

When we go shopping me and dh have a game of how many cars in the p&t spaces actually have child car seats. We would never dream of saying anything though.

Charlie97 · 09/01/2015 13:30

If your elderly relatives are so disabled they need extra space they should apply for a blue badge.

Seriously????? Yeah they give them out like confetti those badges, you just apply and within two weeks they send you one.

Have you ever tried to obtain one of these? Clearly not.

And OP you ANBU!

The parent and child spaces are great, but not necessity. They should be parent and child or someone in need spaces. A bit like the train seats.

Number3cometome · 09/01/2015 13:33

londonrach here here!!!

CoolCat2014 · 09/01/2015 13:34

fluffy - surely your game wouldn't be accurate as many parents take thier babies shopping in the car seat? I only have the one child at the moment (16 week old), and I take her in in her seat, so once parked my car has no obvious clues that a child has been in it.

Anyway. I wonder how our mothers coped without special spaces? They seemed to do alright.

The spaces are nice to have (especially if you've got a bad back and a car that's hard to get the seat into like me) but not a necessity and certainly not a right. Would have been more useful to use them when i was heavily pregnant and had bad SPD tbh.

Anyway, YANBU OP.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 09/01/2015 13:39

Had I have seen you using a P&C space in those circumstances I would have been perfectly happy. Even if, shock horror, it meant that my toddler DD & I had to park elsewhere.

To my mind, the needs of someone with severely limited mobility trump those of someone who wants a wider space to get a toddler or baby out of the car.

As is always mentioned on these threads, we all manage in car parks where there are no P&C spaces.