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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Wouldn't this thread be better in relationships (or wherever)?

52 replies

farewellfigure · 08/01/2015 16:32

AIBU to get really wound up when someone posts in AIBU and the only constructive reply someone can suggest is a little passive aggressive snipe like, 'Wouldn't this thread be better suited to relationships/SEN/TV programmes (whatever)? The OP posted in AIBU for a reason. Probably for traffic the insane number of honest/vile/helpful comments they'll receive and surely didn't do it by mistake. It drives me NUTS.

OP posts:
ouryve · 08/01/2015 16:33

Wouldn't this be better in site stuff?

farewellfigure · 08/01/2015 16:33
Grin
OP posts:
HedgehogsDontBite · 08/01/2015 16:34

Me too. I think a lot of people only post in the areas they lurk in and are familiar with. Posting in the 'right' area feels like you've joined a different forum all together.

TidyDancer · 08/01/2015 16:35

On the whole I agree. There are some people who seem to lurk on threads solely to tell others they are in the wrong place.

I think it's different if they really genuinely think the OP can get more/better advice on a different board.

daisychain01 · 08/01/2015 16:38

Don't be wound up.

Life's too short to let em get to you

But YANBU it seems the Thread Police like to keep themselves busy and gainfully employed scouring MN for things to be hoiky about.

I'm sure there's a Tim Vine joke in there somewhere..what did the man say when he put a steering wheel down his trousers? "It's driving me nuts"

usualsuspect333 · 08/01/2015 16:39

If you want proper support then post in the correct topic. AIBU is not a place I would ever post for support. It's not always PA to suggest someone posts elsewhere.

Posting for relationship advice in AIBU is madness.

People posting everything in AIBU for traffic gets on my tits.

So YABU

fluffyraggies · 08/01/2015 16:44

I have been known to suggest a poster moves their to Rships, but that is only ever out of concern for them getting more helpful replies.

YANBU OP. I hate hate hate it when posters get told 'this is in the 'wrong place'. There is/was a thread today wasn't there? Pretty much the first reply was 'why isn't this in X Y Z?'. FGS. Does it really matter? Hmm

EatShitDerek · 08/01/2015 16:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

farewellfigure · 08/01/2015 16:48

It was the only child thread fluffy. Now I'm going to get flamed for posting a TAAT. Grin To be fair though I've noticed it more and more recently. That one wound me up because I thought it was a perfectly reasonable AIBU!

OP posts:
usualsuspect333 · 08/01/2015 16:48

I suppose if you are the type that just never leaves AIBU, then you might miss a juicy thread if it's posted elsewhere.

daisychain01 · 08/01/2015 16:59

Sometimes people post in the "right" place, the thread only gets 5 responses, so they decide to post on AIBU for traffic.

Even if they double post, which IMHO isn't exactly the crime of the century, as long as they get an eventual resolution to their problem, Thats the only thing that counts. I honestly cannot understand what the issue is in using AIBU, and it isn't just full of vipers, otherwise MNHQ would get rid of it completely. Mostly there are great comments made from switched-on people, with a few viperish ones which can be ignored.

usualsuspect333 · 08/01/2015 17:04

AIBU is full of posters who just want a bunfight.

I don't think many of the sensible posters post in AIBU.

heygoldfish · 08/01/2015 17:09

I hate this. I also hate 'Have you posted about this before?'

I always imagine a beady-eyed librarian type!

WorraLiberty · 08/01/2015 17:10

Ironically I think the best place to post for relationship advice, is probably Chat.

There's been many a time I've found myself open mouthed at the bias and sexism in the relationship topic.

There are a few voices of reason, but they often get shouted down and give up.

WD41 · 08/01/2015 17:12

Yanbu. I thought exactly the same thing when I read that first reply on that thread. It's just so unnecessary.

usualsuspect333 · 08/01/2015 17:14

What's wrong with being a librarian type?

And this thread has been posted many times before...

AlpacaLypse · 08/01/2015 17:21

yabu in the sense that a vast number of people seem to think that MN is AIBU and nothing else, as if you're new to MN quite often Google will send you to AIBU rather than the main Talk page first. Thank you Penis Beaker... Anyway, a new or new-ish poster is quite likely not to actually know about the different parts of the site. I've talked to new users several times who had no idea how much more there was.

I do regularly suggest people move stuff to Relationships if they've started something potentially bunfight-inducing in AIBU as I don't actually like seeing people getting flamed and I tend to believe new users are genuine until proven otherwise.

MardyBra · 08/01/2015 17:22

I get pissed off with people who post in aibu for traffic. The reason they often have to post there for traffic is because their question is so dull, it's been ignored elsewhere. It's queue-jumping and it's rude.

farewellfigure · 08/01/2015 17:23

Yes yes heygoldfish that winds me up too.

usualsuspect Smile I haven't posted about this before though.

OP posts:
livegoldrings · 08/01/2015 17:23

The thing I like about aibu is the completely random topics. I do think some people take the freedom to give a frank reply a bit massively too far, or seem to be contrary on purpose, but you do get some great replies in general. Chat is also good this way and slightly less scary.
But if you have a real problem it is better to post in the correct topic, I've had some great help with health problems and things. Some of the support threads are brilliant and full of knowledgable people.

farewellfigure · 08/01/2015 17:25

Heck, I've only ever posted twice on something other than AIBU. I think I got two replies. Maybe I should branch out a bit and try again. I got many more replies about the same topics (and much more help) when I reposted them in AIBU. All the loveliest mumsnetters are on AIBU IMO

OP posts:
MardyBra · 08/01/2015 17:25

I wish more people would use Active Convos rather than just posting in aibu. I have hidden topics that bore me from active convos, so in theory I should just see stuff of potential interest. But then someone pops up in aibu with "aibu to ask you to recommend me a pushchair?" or "aibu to think baby led weaning is best?" Some of us are beyond the small kid stage and just want to hide that stuff.

P.S. It was just called finger food in my day.

LLJ4 · 08/01/2015 17:29

Posting in AIBU "for traffic" is self-perpetuating though.

And I hide several topics so I don't have to wade through eleventy weight loss / stop smoking / secondary education / pets threads in Active. On the flip side, there are lots of helpful posters who hide AIBU, so you'd miss out on their wisdom.

I'm cool with people saying eg "I want to know everyone's opinions whether or not I should HEd, so I'm posting here rather than HEd" but that's rare.

usualsuspect333 · 08/01/2015 17:33

All the loveliest MNetters post all over the boards, not just in AIBU.

MardyBra · 08/01/2015 17:45

The loveliest MNers use Active Convos to navigate. I remember there was a lovely gathering in some obscure unused topic (Ford something?) that nobody would have found without Active.