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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wouldn't this thread be better in relationships (or wherever)?

52 replies

farewellfigure · 08/01/2015 16:32

AIBU to get really wound up when someone posts in AIBU and the only constructive reply someone can suggest is a little passive aggressive snipe like, 'Wouldn't this thread be better suited to relationships/SEN/TV programmes (whatever)? The OP posted in AIBU for a reason. Probably for traffic the insane number of honest/vile/helpful comments they'll receive and surely didn't do it by mistake. It drives me NUTS.

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 08/01/2015 17:55

I have been known to answer a poster and then suggest that the thread is moved to Relationships.

This is for two reasons. 1) I don't think it's helpful for a vulnerable poster to be ripped apart by some of the harsher posters on AIBU (and I've seen it happen) and 2)There is a wealth of experience on Relationships and they may well miss a post they can help with if it's on another forum.

So YABU.

SaucyJack · 08/01/2015 18:10

YABU.

Why bother having bloody topics at all then?

redskybynight · 08/01/2015 18:16

Whenever I've seen it suggested a post moves to another topic, I've always felt the poster was trying to help. As an example, if someone posts in AIBU about their school appeal, they will get lots of well meaning advice, but lots of it will be wrong or unhelpful. If they were to post in Education they'd get advice from people who genuinely know their stuff.

Original poster
farewellfigure · 08/01/2015 18:21

I reckon I'm BU sometimes then. But the single child one today did wind me up a bit as it was a perfectly fine AIBU.

Only joking about the loveliest ones being on AIBU. I will make a resolution to spend waste more time on other boards Grin

OP posts:
ithoughtofitfirst · 08/01/2015 18:30

My fave is when people suggest netmums. You're not just on the wrong board then. You're lost. Wink

TidyDancer · 08/01/2015 18:44

Most of the time the suggestions to move the thread are definitely meant to be helpful I think. But I can think of one or two posters in particular who always seem hostile when they do it. They may think they are being helpful, but it doesn't come off that way.

AuntieStella · 08/01/2015 19:01

When people post in topics, it means it's often much more easily discoverable for someone who wants to see if her question's been discussed recently.

Size isn't everything. 5 posts from people who know what they're on about can be far more valuable than pages of AIBU.

If people want posts on threads in the 'relationships' topic to be different, then they need to post what they think ought to be said (people don't really get shouted down there, it's far more supportive than AIBU though it is generally intolerant of shitty conduct).

IamTitanium · 08/01/2015 19:05

Posting for relationship advice in AIBU is madness
To me posting for relationship advice in relationships is madness Grin, think I would post that in chat.

IamTitanium · 08/01/2015 19:06

The loveliest MNers use Active Convos to navigate
Totally agree! Also unanswered questions, I end up in areas I never normally would.

daisychain01 · 08/01/2015 22:08

I've seen some almighty bunfights in Relationships. But also some very supportive posts

Trills · 08/01/2015 22:13

Be a part of the solution, not a part of the problem.

If there is "no traffic" in the appropriate topic

1 - Why not wait a few hours - you might get a smaller number of helpful responses from people who actually know about dogs/crochet/weaning/whatever, rather than a lot of responses from people who don't have anything much to say about your issue.

2 - Why not actually go and post on threads in topics where you have an interest or some experience?

Mintyy · 08/01/2015 22:18

Everyone who doesn't see a problem with it - do you agree that Mumsnet should not have any dedicated topics at all, and any time anyone wants to ask a question about any subject under the sun it should begin with AIBU?

If so, perhaps you should lobby hq for a change now.

lemisscared · 08/01/2015 22:21

Sometimes i suggest people post in mental health section if they are worried about mh issues and not put the equation together. That is only so they get better advice as they might not have considered it.

lemisscared · 08/01/2015 22:23

trills i do get what you are saying by waiting but i generally browse via active convos and after a few minutes threads in the less frequented parts of the board disappear.

IamTitanium · 08/01/2015 23:01

Everyone who doesn't see a problem with it - do you agree that Mumsnet should not have any dedicated topics at all, and any time anyone wants to ask a question about any subject under the sun it should begin with AIBU?

I don't really have strong opinions either way, sometimes when I see posts stupidly dressed up and AIBU's I am Hmm, but other times I just think fuck it, so I am not exactly your target audience with your Q.
However I do think there are way to many sub forums, there are 50 odd smaller sub forums just under the first 5 talk topics.
But surely removing some of them would help the topic areas become more frequented?
Don't ask me which ones I would get rid of as I don't have a clue Grin.

Trills · 08/01/2015 23:05

There are too many topics. Yet people insist on asking for more.

Tinks42 · 08/01/2015 23:09

People say that being kind in my opinion. AIBU has a reputation for bluntness and just think that the OP will get unduly slated here.

Have no idea why you're getting your knickers in a twist about it though so YABU.

IamTitanium · 08/01/2015 23:11

Trills, I might ask for a topic about topics.

WorraLiberty · 08/01/2015 23:44

There are at least 3.5 million topics on MN

True fact cos I counted them all

This is why people insist on posting in AIBU or Chat

But HQ know this and still they do nothing to reduce them.

SaucyJack · 08/01/2015 23:55

True dat Trills.

They should definitely keep the swine flu forum tho. Absolutely essential IMO.

Mintyy · 09/01/2015 08:01

Yes, Worra, and op of this thread, this question really has been debated many many many times before, but HQ seem to be too busy to address it!

We had that recent massive thread where hundreds of posters were asking for AIBU threads to be deleted after 90 days ... has there been an outcome from that?

splodgeses · 09/01/2015 19:52

YANBU about over and inappropriate use of AIBU.

However, YABU to suggest that posters who say "wouldn't this thread be better elsewhere??" are being pa. They are being direct, perhaps rude or patronising.

What is it with passive aggression on mn recently? Telling your MIL that you don't like the perfume she is wearing IS NOT pa. It is honest in an inconsiderate and rude way.

Passive aggression is when a person is using aggressive, manipulative, sarcastic behaviour that is indirect eg. the woman on facebook who says "Oh well, I am not worth anything to anyone. But at least my kids think I am a good mum. Its lucky they have me, cos they obvs aint got no one else"

Trills · 09/01/2015 22:07

Is there still a Royal Wedding topic?

Useful at the time (like swine flu) but not so much any more

EdithWeston · 09/01/2015 22:29

There was never a Royal Wedding topic.

There was and is a Royal Family topic.

People want to talk about the Royal famiy pretty often, but not in the topic.

QueenEdith · 09/01/2015 22:32

When I am Queen of MN, I shall have 'post in the topic' month, probably annually in February, during which time all threads will be moved to the right topics.