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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be annoyed that this lady kissed my toddler, on the mouth!

37 replies

whyareallthegoodnicknamestaken · 07/01/2015 20:09

Just had a lovely meal with family, sweesweet older lady was our waitress spent the whole time cooing over ds (20 months) and when we where leaving I gave her a tip and she leaned in and gave ds a peck on the mouth.
I'm sure she was being friendly but I was Abit taken aback by it, never mind the germs..
obviously there's nothing I can do about it now but AIBU to think kissing someone else's toddler on the mouth is just a bit weird?

OP posts:
Behooven · 07/01/2015 20:12

She was being nice. Germs? Weird? You're overreacting.

helensburgh · 07/01/2015 20:12

Defiantly weird, I'd be the same as you.

Think you have to accept its happened , and try and forget.

whyareallthegoodnicknamestaken · 07/01/2015 20:14

Don't get me wrong I'd never have said anything to her I just gave a polite face and walked out but I just thought it was abit off to kiss a child you've never met. Especially in winter when there are all kinds of nasties going round

OP posts:
Jazzhandsrule · 07/01/2015 20:15

Very odd, I'm sure it was done in complete innocence but I wouldn't like it. The germ thing would bother me and I just thing it's crossing the line of personal boundaries.

KissMyFatArse · 07/01/2015 20:15

I hated this stuff too. Wouldn't even allow folk to pick him up at his christening as they had been drinking/smoking/loo and not washing however I did have pnd. But even now I hate people kissing him at all and he's 5! Cold sores and other germs make me shudder and I can't bear the thought of him getting something off someone else.

Yes I know I'm over reacting but it's just how I am!

So I agree, id be uncomfortable and it's crossing the boundaries for me personally

Jazzhandsrule · 07/01/2015 20:16

Think not thing

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 07/01/2015 20:17

The germs won't be an issue, but I do agree it is somewhat odd to kiss a child you don't know, on the lips. I used to kiss my own children on the lips, but I wouldn't kiss anyone else's child like that - on the cheek, or on top of the head - yes, fine, but not on the lips.

Is there any chance she was aiming for a kiss on the cheek but missed?

BumWad · 07/01/2015 20:17

Yea defo weird

whyareallthegoodnicknamestaken · 07/01/2015 20:18

I don't even kiss my nieces and nephews on the mouth, only ever the cheek, I have no idea why a stranger would even think it's acceptable. She was very sweet though, obviously a grandma

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 07/01/2015 20:19

I should qualify what I said about the germs - provided she is not ill/doesn't have a current cold sore, I don't think the germs should worry you.

MamaLazarou · 07/01/2015 20:19

Does seem a bit weird!

KissMyFatArse has got to be the best username ever!

whyareallthegoodnicknamestaken · 07/01/2015 20:20

No she definitely aimed for his mouth lol, ds was looking righ at her, it was just a little peck but she was very overly friendly.

OP posts:
whyareallthegoodnicknamestaken · 07/01/2015 20:24

She didn't seem I'll or have a sore. Ds has the sniffles though so she might end up with that!

OP posts:
ElphabaTheGreen · 07/01/2015 20:24

A bit odd to kiss an unfamiliar child on the lips but YABU about germs. At 20 months, DS1 dropped a sandwich on the floor of the supermarket and immediately retrieved it and stuck it in his gob before I could stop him. DS2 (5mo) stuck one of DS1's trains in his mouth over Christmas. Since we had just started potty training DS1, it most likely had wee on it.

Don't even ask about what the dogs get up to with them.

Kids are very resilient. Grin

Bulbasaur · 07/01/2015 20:25

Yeah, kisses on the lips aren't normal social etiquette for babies. Kisses on the heads, hair tussles, back rubs, cheek pinches are all normal interactions with a baby. I'd find it a bit weird if someone kissed my baby on the lips, especially a stranger.

On a personal note I don't even kiss my own DD on the mouth. She drools, her breath smells like formula, and I can't deal with slime on my lips. God only knows what sticky stuff will be on her mouth as a toddler. Ick.

There's not much you can do about it now though.

WD41 · 07/01/2015 20:26

Yanbu. I'd be really annoyed at that.

whyareallthegoodnicknamestaken · 07/01/2015 20:39

Glad I'm not alone, Dh thinks I'm being mean and that ds looked quite happy with his kiss Blush he does love the ladies Grin

OP posts:
Charitybelle · 07/01/2015 21:24

Urgh, disgusting. Apart from it just being gros for a stranger to be so overly intimate with your child, she may have had a cold sore (coming on, even if not visible) through which she can pass on the virus to your child.
Rude, irresponsible and inappropriate!

Charitybelle · 07/01/2015 21:28

Apologies for the daily fail link, but this also happened to someone my aunt worked with, and it absolutely terrifies me.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2287767/Two-month-old-baby-boy-killed-cold-sore-virus-loving-kiss-father.html

inconceivableme · 07/01/2015 21:32

YADNBU even if she meant no harm by it. Ugh!

Linskibinski · 07/01/2015 21:34

Actually, kissing a tiny baby with a coldsore is massively dangerous. I would be enraged at the potential risks. However aside from that, it's just a bit grim and unnecessary. Poor babies getting slobbered on by the well meaning! Back away from the prams people! Grin

LadyLuck10 · 07/01/2015 21:47

Yanbu, that's very weird.

AnneofCheese · 07/01/2015 21:55

My DS (2) insists on kissing everyone on the lips when he says goodbye! I've never taught him to do this, he's always done it, I think he thinks it's polite. No wonder he's always got the snots

LittleMissRayofHope · 07/01/2015 22:04

It's possible cold sores that bother me. Germs are germs. He'll catch a cold and live on. But cold sores are for life.

I don't like anyone kissing DC on the mouth, I'm funny about strangers touching kissing my DC at all!!

But I'm also strict about lip-balms and moisturisers for the cold sore reason and have absolutely no problem explaining my feelings there at all.
There's polite, then there's risking dc's health to be polite
awaits flaming

Electriclaundryland · 07/01/2015 22:15

I am very affectionate with my kids but I rarely kiss them on the mouth. I'd never kiss someone else's like that.