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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Huge argument with friend over extremely trivial matter

62 replies

sugarman · 06/01/2015 09:23

Good grief, I cannot quite believe what happened today.

Summer here and last day of a week at the beach with another family (total 2 adults and 4 children).

It has been blissful, beautiful spot, fabulous weather and so much fun.

This morning I was in my room packing when my friend burst in and let rip at my son, 7, saying he was very rude and he needed to go with her right away.

I asked what was wrong and she said he had removed the strap from her daughter's body board. I was confused as actually he had loaned his strap and had asked for it back. Turns out he had asked the mother, she had said yes and he had then removed the strap believing he was doing the right thing, but had mistakenly taken the strap from the sibling's board.

I said, "OK well you give him his strap and he'll give you yours," fully believing it to be a minor misunderstanding, the sort your children have over whose turn or whatever.

She stormed off, I spoke to my son and worked out the misunderstanding, then I went to her to explain why he had taken the strap. I tried so hard to be kind and reasonable, but she hit the roof. She said I was being ridiculous, that he had taken her daughter's strap and repeated that he was "very rude" to have taken it back. She was shouting and really lost the plot. She said her dd's strap was missing and it must have been my son who had taken it because "he was up early" and he "needed to tell the truth about where it was".

I am afraid I saw red at this point. I said her dd had lost her strap, my son had been kind to loan his and she was being very unfair to accuse him of taking anything or lying about it.

I also said that a replacement strap would probably cost about $3 and it was really sad to be arguing about something so trivial.

She then ordered her children into the car, came back into the house and said she hoped I was glad for ruining her holiday and that she was leaving and she would not be helping to clean the house.

So I spent the next 1.5hrs cleaning and left feeling shocked, angry and really just bewildered.

I feel as if I don't really know what happened or why, and that she has been completely irrational.

Can anyone tell me whether I have missed something? She was SO so angry, and so sure she was right that I keep wondering what on earth I did wrong. And how anyone could get into such a fury over such a small thing.

In my view the week had gone really well but now I am guessing that she was already upset about something and the strap was in some way her last straw. But genuinely in the dark here.

OP posts:
pictish · 06/01/2015 11:34

I was at a music festival once, with a large group of friends. One of them A (who I would describe as an acquaintance, I'm not that keen) had a leaky tent and decided to drive the two hours home to fetch another one. She told her kids to stick with R (single woman, no kids) till she got back.
Cheeky bitch decided to spend the night at home, have a shower and head back in the morning, texting R at 10pm to inform her of that fact, six hours after she left. No food or night provisions had been made, so R had to feed them and take them into her tent for the night. Of course everyone pitched in to help, but still...R was never asked, or thanked.
Outrageous.

pictish · 06/01/2015 11:41

Anyway, sorry I digress. Point being...some folk are cheeky and take advantage as a matter of course. That's twice your pal has evaded the cleaning now too.
Grrr.

ptumbi · 06/01/2015 13:09

You're in NZ? Funny, I assumed SA (from your NN)

Anyway - what a crazy! Def a user, and not happy about being left with her own dc!

Hissy · 06/01/2015 14:37

she was fairly heavily glued to her phone as she as a new boyfriend

did she have a new guy last year when she buggered off for the 2 days????

you are well shot of her by the looks of it, her poor daughters

sugarman · 09/01/2015 08:39

OddFodd No I didn't see any evidence of her flood but she did talk about plumbers and costs and things, I do still believe her. Thing is, she was quite out of sorts on that holiday, like I say, a big over reaction about the snorkelling expedition and other silly things.

I put it all down to her stress about the flood, but now I think it is just her. No flood this holiday and still a lot of pettiness (little sulks and silent patches which I ignored at the time) topped off with the grande finale of a tantrum and stomping off.

Digress away pictish it is actually quite comforting to hear others' stories! Did the "friend" ever apologise or did anyone ever confront her?

And to all who have advised, be assured I will never holiday with her again. In fact I really can't imagine talking to her again.

OP posts:
Wellieswithaholein · 09/01/2015 09:22

I have known two highly strung people overreact like this;
One went crazy at her OH in front of everyone (a large group) that he had forgotten the picnic rug and demanded he go back (home!) and get it even though there were unoccupied picnic benches galore and when I dared to suggest they use ours I was glared at!

Another when we had gone to collect dd from her friends and the mother had an absolute fit at her husband that he must at that very moment in time (7pm on a Sunday) go out immediately to get some hair conditioner.

I know we can all overreact a bit at times but Jeez! These people are best avoided.

sugarman · 09/01/2015 09:26

Shock wellies Can only imagine what their lives are like day in, day out!

OP posts:
Notnaice · 09/01/2015 09:58

When did you get home? Will you talk to her and ask Wtaf? Because we want to know her response... You owe it to us.

sugarman · 09/01/2015 10:15

Haha notnaice it was only a drive away so everyone well and truly home now. Sorry to disappoint! I will definitely report in with any update.

I don't usually have much of a social life because I am either at work or looking after the children but as it's the holidays, I've been catching up with friends and it's so nice to have normal conversations. Makes me realise friend was odd all along and I really don't know why I stayed in touch.

OP posts:
sugarman · 09/01/2015 10:16

Oh to answer your question, no I will not be phoning her and I haven't heard from her...

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 09/01/2015 10:18

You sound lovely op, spend time with friends who deserve you.

Notnaice · 09/01/2015 10:20

Oh

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