AIBU to ask any psychologists / counsellors / therapists to share weight loss tips that really work?

[ClockwiseCat]

It's January again and yet again I have 2 stone to lose. I start a diet, do well for a bit and then give it up.

I know I'm an emotional eater and I am a bit all or nothing about dieting. I also know that lots of people quit diets because of feeling deprived and most people gain the weight back anyway.

BUT there are those rare people who lose weight AND keep it off. So what are they doing differently? Any tips would be great especially around the whole psychology of weight loss. I'm less interested in hearing 'Do 5:2 / low carb / cabbage diet' and more interested in hearing how to go about making permanent changes.

To update I watched Hungry for Change on Netflix and it has proved really helpful. I have ordered Jon Gabriel's book and CD as his weight loss method seems quite positive - adding good food rather than depriving myself. Will report back

One thing I find is that I snack less if my hands are busy. I may still be slobbing in front of the TV but if I'm knitting, I'm not nibbling.

Plus I enjoy knitting and end up with a finished product to show for it, so it's a win-win situation.

Only a little thing but one which I don't find difficult to do.

The thing that really worked for me was realising that all the biscuits (or whatever it was on that occasion) hadn't filled the hole inside. I just felt sick but the hole was still there.
I still emotionally eat but much less than before. Never dieted because thinking about food all the time probably wasn't going to help me

I haven't read the thread.

But remove that sugar high and crash and eating will level out. No guilt, no deprivation or craving.

Food tastes great and is satisfying and without guilt or emotional turmoil or even will power.

I've lost around 5 stone twice. First time was with SW. Put it straight back on as I got to target and got pg.

This time it's been low-carbing. Complete lifestyle change. I don't cheat (well maybe 6 days in the last 14 months over the two Christmas periods). Sugar, potatoes, pasta and fruit that isn't berries are all gone. I

weigh daily (except at TOTM). I like to be in a particular weight range. Too close to the too and I'm really strict until I'm at the bottom again.

I also wrote down everything I ate for about the first 8 months.

I've gone from sz 20 to sz 10 and kept it off (been at target) for 7 months now.

No exercise really - doing a little bit now to tone up.

The plan is called the Harcombe Diet. I am a member of a few Facebook support groups but otherwise it's cost me nothing except the initial £6ish book.

Four how hard did you find it to give up the carbs? I can never really get my head around what people eat instead of carbs

what people eat i stead of carbs?

I tend to get my carbs from leafy green veg [greens, broccoli, spinach, roasted Brussel sprouts a recent favourite]. It has become ingrained now, so i just don't bother with the padding ( potatoes, rice, stuffing etc.). A couple of examples, I used to eat pate and toast, now i have the slice of pate on a small plate with a pile of salad leaves and a drop of oil/vinegar dressing. A bacon sandwich has become a bowl of salad (leaves, avocado, a few tomatoes) perhaps some cheeses with a slice or two of bacon chopped through it. I often eat breakfast at work , where I have a standing order 'spinach instead of the toast' for scrambled or poached eggs, with or without bacon or smoked salmon. Spinach & ham omelette, or bacon, mushroom and spinach.

Delicious, satisfying and I just don't get that raging got to eator something terrible will happen that I used to get a lot. People at work are always brining round cakes, biscuits etc. which I used to accept, eat and feel terrible afterwards. Often go and get another one , too. Now I accept with thanks, leave it on my desk to have 'later' and often just forget to eat it. This feeling of ease around food is to me the real benefit of the low carb way of eating

[hat tip BIWI, Stuntnum et al on the low carb bookcamp threads, without whom I wouldn't have got this far]

We'd be millionaires if we knew the answer to this.
Obviously eating fewer calories works for just about everyone. Good fats tend to fill you up more than carbs. You ask what people eat instead of carbs - well often just less.

Try eating nothing until lunch time. Intermittent fasting has a lot of health benefits.

Then have a lunch which is loads of fish fried in olive oil with masses of veg stir fried in there too. That's your main meal and eat it as late as you can 2pm say.

Then try to eat nothing after that and if you must have say a tins of sardines and some raw carrots later.

Only drink water.

Ideally you need to change how you eat for life. I was never obese but I've lost weight and since have always hovered between about 9 and 10 and a half stone. I just lost the taste for chocolate, sugar etc. I genuinely now don't want it and I can't understand how I used to have to drive to the coffee shop for hot chocolate and a chocolate bar or whatever.

Most good ways of eating for life are the same as I say to my vegan son. Whilst he doesn't eat meat or fish or eggs etc he and I are more similar than you think - we both eat loads of veg (don't go overboard on fruit though if you have weight to lose - my 5 bananas a day habit didn't lose me weight... and avoid dried fruit too and eating 1000 calorie bags of nuts).

Have a look at www.Noom.com It is working for me. It is a 16 week programme focused on changing your eating and exercise habits through expert advice. You log your food etc and are put in a group for support and you have a coach. It's well thought out in my opinion.

Am more of the things in the thread title but I lost 3 stone over 3 years ago and have kept it off (including a pregnancy). For me, the difference was (i) finding a form of exercise I liked and looked forward to doing. I actually really want to exercise now and (ii) accepting that I can't eat whatever I want all the time, but I can maybe 15% of the time.

I also realised that I like myself more now. It feels good to think that you're taking good care of yourself and that becomes a self-perpetuating cycle.

I'm not an expert and I've never been overweight, I was a skinny kid, skinny teen, skinny adult. Post menopause the weight started to creep on, which was a big shock. Still I didn't respond until I saw a photo of myself taken at a friend's birthday weekend. My face looked (to me) like a balloon. I got on the scales and discovered I was 9st 4lb - heavier than I've ever been. That was it - party's over, get it sorted.

I developed a serious gym and running habit, dropped the carbs and alcohol, upped the protein and lost 10lbs in no time. I've maintained my weight at 54kg ever since and have the added benefit of defined muscle, so I look pretty good. I ran a top 20 time for my age group over 10k.

I'm not ashamed to say that my motivation was and is pure vanity. I like being slim, toned and fit. I like it more than I like pasta, potatoes and bread but not sweets . Portion control is crucial too. You don't need to eat as much as your DH or any other man - you just don't. I went away for a long weekend with a slightly overweight friend. Without telling me what she was doing until afterwards, she ate and drank exactly what I did in the same amounts for the four days. We did the same exercise because we were hiking in the mountains. She lost almost half a stone. Admittedly she was starving the whole time, but she said it changed her ideas about what and how much to eat. She has lost a further half stone and will lose a bit more. She looks great.

Find your key motivator and you will make the changes you think you want to make. Until you really really want something more than you want the "wrong" foods in the "wrong" amounts you cannot succeed.

Chris Fairburns book on cbt for obesity suggests aiming for a much lower weight loss figure than most people aim for - 5% of your current weight - and aiming to keep it off for a year.

I'm not a professional, but what works for me is the Louise Parker fit for life plan (book). Basically healthy foods, easy recipes, 2 healthy snacks between 3 modest size meals......of course you do have to commit to being careful what you eat when you are not cooking it, there are no fast, convenience or processed foods at all.

I have come to realise

1. food accounts for 85% of weight loss exercise 15% for me. I cannot exercise away a bad diet hovever hard l try.

2. 80% of calorie come from avoidable processed foods, l no longer have crisps, cakes, biscuits, chocolate (except very dark) anything from a petrol station!

3. when eating out chose what is closest to the healthy meals l cook from home rather than what l fancy right then, and miss dessert. ie l ask for small grilled steak on rocket/cob salad without dressing.

4. there is no shortcut, healthy cooking and fresh food in small quantities works for as long as you do it. I proved I could do it once I stopped making excuses...this took some years!

The "all or nothing" approach

^ That, for me. Give me an obvious & easy way to fail & I'll just do it. It's less stress than trying to do something perfect. It seems like people have to try different things to see what works for them.

I lost three stone by cutting out any processed sugar and processed foods such as ready meals.
I read Paul Mckenna and took two things from him. Eat only when you're hungry, stop when you're full.
Instead of ambling around the park throwing the ball for the dogs I started power walking, an hour panting and sweating up every hill I came to.
Also did 1 or 2 Davina HIIT routines 3 times a day.
Then a year ago I started c25k, and shuffle around the park 3 times a week.
I found lots of info on here and helpful links to research that people posted.
I have GERD, so when I get up I eat a banana to stop the acid sloshing about when I'm exercising, then don't feel hungry until about 1 or 2 pm, when I'll have 2 eggs on wholemeal or a huge bowl of fruit and full fat greek yoghurt.
I then have fish and veg, or pasta/ whatever for dinner but try not to eat after 7pm.
From what I've read, calories are not equal. A calorie of fat uses more calories to digest than a calorie of sugar.
The particles in nuts and ie full fat milk are too big to pass into the bloodstream.
Breaking your sugary fruit down into a smoothie causes the insulin to spike as the sugar releases faster than in it's natural fibrous state.
However, I hit a really bad time emotionally recently, sold my house, couldn't motivate myself to find time to exercise while I was packing (but continued to eat well) new purchase fell through, so 6 months living in a damp cold mobile home with a faulty cooker sent me back to takeaways, microwave meals and comfort eating crap and I've put on half a stone.
I've completed on my new house though, just some loose ends to tie up and things should fall into place again.