AIBU to ask any psychologists / counsellors / therapists to share weight loss tips that really work?

[ClockwiseCat]

It's January again and yet again I have 2 stone to lose. I start a diet, do well for a bit and then give it up.

I know I'm an emotional eater and I am a bit all or nothing about dieting. I also know that lots of people quit diets because of feeling deprived and most people gain the weight back anyway.

BUT there are those rare people who lose weight AND keep it off. So what are they doing differently? Any tips would be great especially around the whole psychology of weight loss. I'm less interested in hearing 'Do 5:2 / low carb / cabbage diet' and more interested in hearing how to go about making permanent changes.

they just get eaten. I agree with pp on the 'less' comment - I only actually need one slice of bread at lunch,

I am likely alone on this, but I disagree with this (DP and I have disagreement on this as well). the temptation to snack is very high, especially with such easy access to food. Of course, I am much more likely to snack when hungry and snacking is often junk (though that is not necessary, you can have an apple or nuts, which are surprisingly filling).

I would eat a meal that satisfies until the next meal, so you don't need to snack.

1. Throw away all food you don't like out of the house. Only eat food you enjoy.

1. Only way if you are hungry. If you're not go out or distract yourself, phone a friend etc.

1. Sit down to eat.

1. Take your time and eat slowly, think about all the flavours m, texture etc.

1. Stop when you are comfortably full. Throw away leftovers.

1. Only eat if you're hungry

Throw away all food you don't like out of the house

Surely that only works if you live alone?

The problem I have is that I am fine til late afternoon or early evening when I undo my good work.For example today i had a bit of porridge for breakfast .A ham and chutney sandwich for lunch .Went for an hours walk with DS1 who is home from uni.Then at about 4.30 my mum popped in with a packet of Grandma Wild's Oat cookies and... well you can guess what happened! Every day I sabotage myself!! why?

choclover maybe try a more substantial breakfast and lunch with fat and protein in each. If you still get hungry late afternoon, anticipate it and plan something satisfying but nourishing for then, an apple or banana sliced and spread with nut butter, Greek yoghurt and berries, some cheese and celery/oatcakes, a few squares of dark chocolate with a cup of tea...

On the milk point - I meant in tea and coffee (I never actually have milk since I don't like it but have seen people get good results this way). Obviously if milk is part of your nutrition and food that's different - i agree that skimmed milk and cornflakes won't set you up for the day.

On on slice of bread - I don't then snack. If I get bored I have an apple not anything else - one piece of bread as a sandwich with filling is enough for me for lunch, since I have porridge for breakfast, work at a desk and I'm really short so I have less body to keep going.

I lost five stone a few years ago and I've kept it off. For me, the key was to understand why (and what) I was eating (easier said than done), and to change what I was eating.

I don't do well with hunger, so I made sure I had lots of small snacks available between meals: blueberries, peanuts etc - small quantities. Finding other coping mechanisms was also important.

And for me it was REALLY important to exercise: half an hour every day, just walking. Once I'd lost the weight and changed my eating patterns I didn't need to exercise quite so often. But (for me at least) changing my diet wouldn't work without exercising as well.

Good luck!

Worra - I suspect all dietary regimes are easier if you live alone.

Weight is an equilibrium between calories in, calories out, and calories stored
I don't think that is true.With some types of foodstuffs you take more of the calories than in others.

This year the only chocolate stuff I will be buying is choc orange or mint as I don't like either. (same goes for ice cream and yoghurt). I will buy meat flavour crisps for the kids as I don't like them, Strawberry jam (another yuk) and ginger biscuits. This way if I am tempted it wont be there to pick on.
I am a sucker for crisps but have worked out it is the crunch rather than the flavour so I have bought a pack of water crackers and will have those with marmite if I have a crisp urge. I have also re discovered mandarins. As they are a no faff fruit it will be just as easy for me to scoff a couple of those as a choc bar.

Using myfitnesspal was a complete revelation to me. It's basically a food diary which tots up your calories, records your weight and tracks your progress. I found it quite a fun challenge to try and stay within the calorie amount alloted to me according to my weight loss goals and I could see the weight coming off on a nearly daily basis. I lost a stone pretty quickly and because I now knew what a good amount of calories a day looked like I kept it off. I subsequently got pregnant but once this little one is out I will use it again to get back to my ideal weight after birth. It's a free app.

Two stone off now and stayed there for 18 months. Forget the word diet and just reject crap. Up your protein up your veg and good fats. Cut down drastically on bread pasta potatoes and rice. So a meal would be a pile of chicken a heap of veg and a small portion as in two tbsp of carbs. Cut out sugar that is the demon. Look up a guy called dr Stephen sinatra he's a cardiologist and has written several books about sugar. Anything with sugar in and that includes white flour and carby stuff will send your sugar cravings off the scale. Never thought I would shift the extra weight but I did and feel healthy. That's not to say I don't have the odd binge. Exercise every day and cut out sugar.

Try a change in semantics. Stop talking about weight "loss" and "losing" weight.

The first thing the subconscious wants when it "loses" something is to get it back!

Try thinking more of "getting rid" of excess weight instead. Like its rubbish that you don't want back. This gives the subconscious mind a much clearer message about what you actually want.

(No idea if this works, but it is a psychological strategy )

ChocLover if you don't digest the calories in then you can count them back out when they emerge (raisins, for example, or Lego blocks ).

It's basic physics - energy into a system is stored unless used.

That said, I agree that not all calories are equal. I try to make sure my calories do another job too - energy and protein, energy and vitamins, energy and fibre, etc. Foods that are only energy are not nutritious.

Work through The Beck Diet Solution book by Judith Beck. Actually do the exercises. She is the daughter of CBT guru Aaron Beck. It has changed my attitude to food and nutrition. I have gone from an all or nothing, I've messed up today, start again tomorrow/Monday mentality to moderation and consistency every single day, yet I don't feel deprived. Didn't get any weight on a 16 day USA road trip last year, or over xmas.

It is about the mental/emotional connection with eating. She advises you to choose any reasonable eating plan.

As to what I eat, I also use MyFitnessPal. I eat 5 times a day, good quality protein at every meal. One big salad daily. Unsweetened almond milk with my porridge (don't drink tea or coffee so no other dairy really).

It's not as simple as calories in and out. Once you reach a certain age (40 for me and I become surgically menopausal at 42) it is way harder and a lot depends on your hormones and responses to stress for example. I am pretty hardcore exercise wise and used to think that walking could not be classed as exercise. However, I have done a lot of research lately and gentle stuff like walking can aid with staying in shape because it reduces your stress levels. In fact, either go hard at it for a shorter period re exercise (20 to 30 minutes) or go for a leisurely walk. Something in between at this age is not the ideal (although obviously something is better than nothing). Also, lift weights, as heavy as you can. Build muscle mass. Gone are the day of women doing 2 hours of CV a day.

Look at you tube videos of Metabolic Effect for the science behind all this:-

www.youtube.com/user/metaboliceffect

Loads of great stuff here thanks. I have been away for the last couple of days and have eaten so much. It's just pure greed and I feel disgusted with myself

amicissimma
Just some random thoughts from a 'naturally slim' (sorry!) person.

I'm not sure I like or buy the concept of a 'naturally slim' person. Perpetuating this idea does not help people who want to weigh less/be healthier - makes it seem unobtainable/something other people can be.

I've never met a 'slim person' whose physique could not be explained by what they ate, drank or by how much they moved and exercised.

There is no doubt the the balance sheet of 'calories in minus calories out equals weight loss or gain', BUT there are lots of things about metabolic rate and appetite regulation we don't fully understand yet.

The 'naturally slim' may well have some genetic differences with in our society of having too many calories very cheaply available is an advantage whereas in a famine might be a disadvantage.

I am broad-shouldered and broad-hipped (I am also overweight, but that's not relevant for the point I am trying to make) - I was this general shape whether I weighed 9st or 12st. My DB was a skinny child and is now a middle-aged slim-hipped man without any kind of sign of a 'gut' (his legs have always been better than mine ) and he is one of these people who 'only eats when he is hungry'.
Which is of course the way to do it but does not take in to account the many factors that influence appetite, self-control and satiety.

This is an interesting article about leptin and gherlin and their effect on appetite.

If you must follow any 'diet' at all a have much less readily available carbohydrate aka Low GI diet or 5:2 probably make sense from an insulin-resitence point of view.

If we all had to hunt and gather for our dinner, rather than nip over to Tesco with the car to buy 200000 calories for a fraction of our income, we'd have less of a weight problem.

I lost about about 5 stone over a year several years back (was 17.5st) and have pretty much kept at 12.5 since. I'm a 6'1 guy though so not too bad. I'm probably 1 or 2lbs heavier than that atm as I put on about 4lbs going back home for xmas but have since lost a couple once I got back home and into my routine. I'd know for a few years I'd been putting on the pounds but the thing that kick-started it for me was when the girl in the Chinese said I was there all the time and I was just thinking 'crap, I go to the chippy more than this place'. I was really embarrassed and thought things had to change so decided I had to get a plan together.

For me it wasn't so much an attempt to go on a diet (I did consider the 5:2) but to completely change my diet. My Fitness Pal was a great help in teaching me the calories in all the bits and pieces that I was eating and it was amazing to me the amount of times I thought I was eating healthy I'd have been better going to McDonalds! In the first few months I was pretty much checking everything which didn't have a label as I was walking round the supermarket. I now have a pretty good idea of the calorie count in most foods/drinks and if I don't I do try to check if I'm thinking of buying it in.

I figured if I was going to start trying to control what I eat the only way I was going to do it was to learn to cook and have a large enough repertoire of dishes that I wouldn't get bored. I'm in a fortunate (though not accidental) position in that it doesn't take me too long to get home from work so I do have time to do this and everything I make now is cooked from scratch. I love cooking (not so much washing up!) so have no qualms about spending 20/30 mins preparing my food and then another hour or so cooking. I don't have kids though so appreciate not everyone is in the same position. I do have quicker dishes as sometimes I just need to crash out after a hectic day. I'm also, without being big-headed, now a very good cook which is always great when friends come round but more importantly means I know whatever I make is going to be better than the rather rank chippy round the corner or the so-so Chinese.

I tend to eat very light lunches (with the right bread and cheese I can make a ham & cheese toastie for a measly 255 calories) but have very large dinners. Most of my evening meal is veg but I'm a firm lover of meat & fish and pretty much every meal will have some element of that to it. Anyone who knew me as a kid can't believe how much veg I eat as I was always eating junk food as a kid. I did do a huge amount of sport then (several different sports at county level) so it made no difference. Sadly, it seems as you get older and stop doing so much, it does :) I think this is probably where my bad habits stem from. It really wasn't my parents fault though as, try as they might, I was an incredibly fussy eater. I'm not sure what it is, but nowadays I probably have one of the most varied diets out there and will pretty much give anything a go as long as I get to cook it.

I do tend to eat fairly late (7:30-8) which a lot of people don't recommend but I tend to find I then don't really get tempted to snack. My cupboards are generally bare of snacks anyway and I just usually have a few apples in the fridge. I'm pretty poor at resisting junk food if it's in the cupboards. I do occasionally get tempted to pop out now and then to the 24 hour Costcutter 3 doors down for a pack of crisps but I can usually rely on Sloth to beat Gluttony if that battle starts in my head :) This temptation is a lot easier to manage these days though than when I first started to try and lose weight. In those early days stopping snacking was like giving up ciggies where you had this little voice trying to convince you just one little thing wouldn't hurt.

I can afford to not be too strict now so have no issue going out for a meal and drinks as I know generally I'm in a deficit on any average day which allows me the odd night out. It does still need to be controlled though as a night on the beer and then deciding to order half the stuff in the takeaway (as I tend to do when drunk) generally undoes most of the good work I've done all week. Still, I feel much better and know I'll never let myself get back to the way it was. It really was a lifestyle change more than anything.

I simply don't have the willpower to diet. I love my food. Same with exercise - structured exercise doesn't hold my attention so no going to gym or regular classes.

Knowing this I have managed my weight by cutting out bread, pasta, potatoes, rice..most carbs. I will have them very, very occasionally but never 2 carbs items on plate at same time. So this means I can still eat substantially eg a meal could be skinless chicken with a load of side vegatables, and for my carb "hit" (which I need sometimes) 2 small yorkshire puddings.

I go into town roughly 3 times weekly and walk instead of driving. The walk does me good, also I now walk past our local beauty salon so tend to pop in and do a 10 minute session on Flabelos machine, after Ive done what I need to do I walk home again. lf watching tv at home I have my dumbells so do arm exercises, sometimes I'll get up and do squats whilst watching tv too.

I could probably do more to lose weight faster but this suits me fine at the moment - I could maintain this for life as Im not starving myself. I also don't allow myself to get too hungry in between meals or I know I'll eat everything in sight.

Unless someone wants to have a gastric band fitted for example, I don't think there is any way you can lose weight apart from changing eating habits and moving a bit more. I know I've no willpower so simply don't overload on carbs/starch and sugary stuff, but Im still having full meals.

Judith Beck in the book mentioned above says that if you study these "naturally" thin people you will find that they may have a big meal on the occasion when you're out with them or whatever, but they make allowances for that the rest of the day and possibly day before and day after. We only see them for a small amount of time but generally they are very conscious of what they eat 90% of the time. We just happen to see the 10%.

mistress don't give yourself such a hard time! Sounds to me you are doing things right - changing your eating habits. It is the way to go, rather than dieting which can leave you feeling deprived and is short term.