Booked time off without DH knowing.

[PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange]

So I have this week off from work, but not told anyone apart from MIL as she takes the DC to school.

I want a few days to myself. So today I have done the house from top to bottom and done everything so I don't have nothing to do apart from school run.

Should I have told DH I have time off work.

Just tell him you want time alone as you don't want him deciding to decorate etc. you can do it nicely. Say you want a complete rest, watch downtown etc. he shouldn't take it personally

He is not a bad guy, it just when dc are not here he would like to do jobs.

Feel really guilty now.

It's amazing how many people here think in such black and white terms, and use such strong words: Lying, deceit....ffs

The OP has resourcefully booked some time for herself, without wanting her DH there, doing DIY and wanting a cuppa, no doubt! She's done this so she has time for herself on her own terms and more power to you woman, especially after the long holidays where, no doubt you did the lions share, or the lionesses' share of planning and working I should say. (Lions don't hunt: just eat, lie around in the sun and shag).

My only concern OP is that you've not spent this time wisely- "doing the entire house from top to bottom" seems such a waste. I presume you mean housework.
Why not go for some lovely walks and read a few books, or catch up on some friends by meeting them for lunch.

Housework is last in my list of things to do on "me time". That's the shocker for me!

Enough of the black and white judgypants deal breaker talk, we live in a swirling mist of grey and relativity.

The OP's not shagging the neighbours, and we haven't signed up for thought policing yet.

She is allowed to do and think whatever she likes, without telling her DH, or asking for permission.... still can't get my head around the housework!! But whatever floats your boat.

Don't feel guilty. I don't think Yabu, it's something I plan to do myself in the near future, maybe not a week but definitely a day or two when the DC are at school and childcare. I get zero time to myself, if I not working I am with the DC, everything fits in around them. DH has interests and hobbies that allow him time away from the house and even though we both work - me time is definitely not equally shared. We've argued discussed it lots of times and nothing really changes, so I'm just going to go ahead and do it my way.

Enjoy your time off.

I don't work Mondays ever, so I normally do it.

There's nothing to feel that guilty about- you mention the school run so it's not as if your OH is at home with a toddler and a baby whilst you're out amusing yourself in your particular situation.

I would mention it to him tho. It just seems like you're making it into a bigger deal than it needs to be.

DH gets a lot more 'me time' I don't care as I enjoy spending time with DC and he is not allowed to touch my housework. I'm very fussy. I also do all the cooking.

I just want time to myself. Friends or family don't know I am off either.

I have worked Christmas Eve, Christmas day and New Years day as well as hosting friends and family ( I enjoy it don't get me wrong)

My boss said I have leave to take so I took it.

I think it's fine to want time to yourself, but I think you have put your MiL in a very awkward position. Do you expect her to lie for you?

I don't expect mil to lie for me.

That's what I was going to say,Pinks. Won't MIL say anything to your husband? I don't think yabu for taking time off but if it was my DH who had I would feel a bit miffed he hadn't told me. ( also I get such a small amount of leave I'm jealous you have any left over)

I had something similar as I used to work away all the time and get occasional days off at the end of a project. They were very precious as I was never at home (this was before I became a mum) and never ever got any time to myself. When I did my OH used to make a last minute decision to work from home and it drove my CRAZY. Rather than get up early or lie in as I liked and make whatever noise I liked I then had someone else in the house so had to be quiet if he was on a call, or had someone coming through and interrupting whatever I decided to do. And he would then announce he was doing some kind of job on the house at his lunchtime that would either involve noise, or dust, or fumes of some kind. Some kind of job that really did need doing, but not on the one day I had earmarked to myself. So I really do get it. If I could have taken a sneaky day off without him knowing I would have!

So I understand why you hadn't told him, but I think you will have to otherwise he will realise you aren't at work and then he'll think it weird that you haven't told him, then it'll become an issue. In my case when I told my OH I didn't want him around on my day off he did take it as rejection, but I still had to tell him and the next time although he didn't understand he did stay away...

However the underlying problem was that I was doing too much away from both my OH and home so OH was needy and I was desperate for occasional space, not from him, but from everyone. Eventually I sorted out the fact that I was away all the time and the problem went away. Is there anything you can do to find time in your normal week to have some 'you' time?

We I told him over the phone saying that he not to change his shift pattern and if he does then I will not stay in.

Was he cool with it?
I wouldn't have gone about having time off in the same way as you, only because I would easily be able to tell my dh that I wanted to be alone and he would totally understand with no hurt feelings. If it looked like my time off alone was going to cause a drama, I would be tempted to go stealth!

I don't understand how you don't ever get any time off when you don't work Monday's normally? Or do you have existing commitments on a Monday?

He was.

Monday is my dedicated housework day, in which my house get a deep clean. Bedding changed all washing drying and ironing done. Pulls out the sofas and cleans the oven ect.

I don't have much time left once it's all done.

I'm sure a lot of that housework that is filling your Mondays doesn't need doing every week.

You could probably carve out half a day for fun and relaxation most weeks instead of cleaning inside ovens and under sofas and doing some mythical activity called ironing .

I have had a nice relaxing day, I think I may cut back on the house on a Monday's.

You are living the dream OP! Have a nice few days.

There you go, OP, it wasn't that hard to be honest with him was it.

Pulling out the sofas? Now that is u reasonable. You need to chill more

Glad to see you told him. Enjoy the rest of your time off!

Pulls out the sofas every week?

Yes cut down.