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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to not let my daughter read 50 Shades of grey?

107 replies

Jennco · 05/01/2015 15:52

To be fair she is very nearly 17. Whilst I havent read the book, so cannot be a fair judge of content, I am certain it isnt something an impressionable (very innocent) young girl to read? Apparently all of her friends have read it and she knows vaugely what its about.

So AIBU when she will probably be old enough to see the movie upon its release?

OP posts:

owlborn · 05/01/2015 17:47

It's a shite book but I doubt it'll permanently damage her. I was reading all sorts at that age, ranging from Anne McCaffrey (who has some very dodgy views on consent) to the Story of O. If she's relatively smart and clued up in most areas it won't damage her.

NancyRaygun · 05/01/2015 17:52

As long as she is reading widely then I can't see the harm - hopefully it will hone her critical senses and she'll be able to read it and understand it for what it is: Badly written, sexist, trashy, populist "romance".

I read Laura Palmer's diary at that age... that was pretty full on sexually, but then so is DH Lawrence!

rookiemere · 05/01/2015 18:03

Better reading the book than going to see the film which promises to be complete and utter pants.Although I am sadly tempted to see Jamie Dorman do his creepy sexy eyes again.

NurseRoscoe · 05/01/2015 18:11

YABU. Even if she is 'impressionable' and goes on to have sex, she would still be doing nothing wrong as she is of legal age and it would be her choice.

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 05/01/2015 18:21

Yanbu. Purely because it's utter, utter, utter, badly written garbage.

'Looking up at him through her lashes'

Wtaf!

It's shite! Point her in the direction of much better books than that one.

depecheNO · 06/01/2015 01:36

If your mum's comments were posted where your daughter might see, I'm surprised she even wants to read it on that basis. YANBU for not wanting to read it because of that or any other reason, and I don't think you should have to read it just because your nearly 17yo is wary. She's going to have to learn to take responsibility for exposing herself to adult content eventually, and ideally needs to have more confidence in refusing to partake in things she's not sure about until she is sure. It's fantastic that she's so open and trusting towards her parents, but it's not like anyone is forcing her to read it, so there's not much of a case for you involving yourself any more than you are comfortable with. All the same, I hope you both have a really good laugh at it!

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 06/01/2015 02:06

I'm shocked that Shockers hadn't heard of butt plugs before reading this book ...

StarsOfTrackAndField · 06/01/2015 02:25

I'm quite pleased that a 17 year old young woman would want to read '50 shades of grey.' It is difficult to get young people into politics and that she wants to read John Major's biography is extremely gratifying.

ChocLover2015 · 06/01/2015 06:58

Crikey I thought she was going to be ten or something. I didn't get what all the hype was about when I read it

Shockers · 06/01/2015 07:08

decaf, it's obviously not the sort of thing that comes up in conversation in rural Lancashire .

Mrsjayy · 06/01/2015 07:38

Yanbu I wouldn't want my dd read it either but I think it is soft porn and didn't get why it was such a success I wouldn't use it as a tool either but if my nearly 17yr old wanted to read it I couldn't really stop her must be a thing amongst girls atm some of the girls in dds year are reading it,

FreudiansSlipper · 06/01/2015 08:26

Maybe her asking you can she read the book and your opinion is a way for her to perhaps talk about sex and relationships

Of course you can not control what she reads but she is telling you she wants to read a very adult book is she trying to tell you something?

Good time to have a chat about what is important in a relationship that is what I would take from it and that it is not what is written about in this rubbish book

FreudiansSlipper · 06/01/2015 08:28

I wouldn't want my child to read it so understand how you feel

HellKitty · 06/01/2015 08:28

Oh god. Back in the day a ragged copy of 'Lace' was being passed around me and my friends. It use to fall open at the goldfish bit as I recall.

maras2 · 06/01/2015 08:32

Holy God.I wouldn't want my 37 year old daughter reading that pile of drek.

Mrsjayy · 06/01/2015 08:35

I read lace I was reading horror and gorey books by the time I was 16 some of the torture was pretty gross don't think it corrupted me I got halfway through 50 shades it really is a pile of rubbish and I think the film will be dreadful.

maras2 · 06/01/2015 08:39

Was that the one with the goldfish malarkey mrsjayy ?

Mrsjayy · 06/01/2015 08:45

Can't remember anything about goldfish just loads of shagging

HellKitty · 06/01/2015 08:48

Yep. The goldfish. In the mini series they just had it in a bowl to hint at the book. I'm ashamed I'm remembering so much

MsFeckIt · 06/01/2015 08:50

Goldfish??? What the hell did I miss out on reading?

And I'll add another resounding yes to Bertie's suggestion of Pervocracy. The book is about an abusive relationshio, which would be fine if it was sold as being about an abusive relationship, but worryingly it's sold as 'romance', and even more worryingly gives the final message that if a woman just tries hard enough to comply she can change an abusive man's behaviour.

But then what sort of crap what anyone expect from an "author" who made millions on the back of poorly written Twilight Fanfiction garbage?

Fadingmemory · 06/01/2015 08:51

YANBU but not because of the sex, but because it is ill-written garbage. Seriously though, are you trying to shield her from knowing about sex? You may well not but still, it's something to think about.

ASAS · 06/01/2015 08:51

In the same way that all little girls should see how Hans exploits Anna in Frozen, all teenagers should see how women are portrayed in this 'book'. Tbh she'll probably find it laughable. The danger is she could feel you're approachable on certain subjects if you ban it.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 06/01/2015 08:53

DD read it at the same age. Or rather she got about 50 pages in and gave up in disgust. Then DW had a go on the Kindle to while away the pèage. So I'm driving past Chantilly and I glance over to see that the font is set at 36 and anatomical inaccuracies are being perpetrated. Nearly crashed the car laughing.

Let her read it to show her what shite it is.

ASAS · 06/01/2015 08:59

Ha ha, UNapproachable even! But on the whole your thread makes you seem fairly cool mom. Promise to come back and laugh with us once you've read it.

HellKitty · 06/01/2015 09:05

I'd get out a highlighter, a red pen and a bottle of Tippex and go through it

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