To get annoyed when people on tv

[LittleMissDonkeyonADustyRoad]

Don't wash their hands after going to the toilet

Don't wash their hands after touching raw chicken, especially when they just rub their hands on a towel

When they don't close the door after going in and out the house

And many more

Please tell me I'm not alone!

Middle aged cops who can out sprint young criminals.

Women cops who can outsprint men (even though they patently can't run well)

Women cops who teeter around in ultra high heels (yes you, Becket from Castle). And STILL manage to outsprint young male criminals.

Samcro - thank you! Glad I'm not the only one to drive my DH to significant eye rolls when a scene is starting that will get me mumbling.

I'd like to know why no one seems to Google Midsomer before they move there. Any of the villages would come back with a murder rate to rival an inner city gang area but there are always incomers. Why doesn't the police commissioner ever get on the phone and ask what the Dickens is going on?! Fraudulent faith healers, human rights abuses, drugs, cults - I know Barnaby solves his cases so is, in that respect, good at his job but with a whole busy station and a population of about 500 latent criminals who are all in some way related and 6 new comers you'd think there'd be better crime prevention really.

Painless ammunition - not only will you be totally fine if you get shot multiple times, it probably won't even hurt that much.

Yy high heels - I'll be on my feet for a 12 - 14 hour shift...better wear the tight skirt and high heels, want to be comfortable. Obvs. I hope the other doctors/police officers like my inch long false nails, so hygienic and practical and go so well with my lush waterfall of loose, shoulder length curls.

In soaps people can leave their jobs without working any notice period and start new jobs without being interviewed or getting references.

Also they can leave their homes forever with just one bag.

Why don't they ever close the curtains? Carrie Bradshaw used to thrash around all angsty unable to sleep and I'd think 'FFS you silly bitch, get a blackout blind'

There's an unintentionally funny bit at the end of Homeland where Carrie is about to set out on a two day trip in her car, overnight drive, with her 6mo baby. We could probably stop right there but let's give her the benefit of the doubt. Then her sister comes out and says "why do you have to take her [ie the baby]? Just leave her with me", to which Carrie says, casually, "areuousureokaythenhereyouare", hands over the kid, gets in the car and drives off.

Wtf?? Her entire boot would have been chock full of baby gear, why is she going off with the baby's essential kit, how come the baby doesn't seem to give a shit about any of it, where are the endless instructions, what about the car seat and buggy... pah. Shoddy script writing.

I must be odd that stuff like this doesn't bother me.

Maybe I am really good at suspending my disbelief. Why would I want to watch people washing their hands, or locking the door, or doing a load of mundane shit that isn't actually necessary in TV land?

This is what editors are for, to cut the dull shit out, and make it a). watchable, and b). not unnecessarily long.

In Coronation Street, everyone both lives and works on the Street, hardly anyone commutes to the city centre for work. One tiny backstreet in greater Manchester is a hive of business activity, capable of keeping all of its residents in permanent full employment. It is a one street economic miracle and any new arrival will almost instantly find work in this flourishing micro-economy.

Also, not so much annoying, but I've often wondered what is on TV in Wetherfield at 7:30pm on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?

I also am good at suspending my disbelief or just not noticing, but am so jealous of these people whose children disappear at will when they are inconvenient, or the girl from the typing pool who lives in a penthouse and people who could jump into bed with random strangers every week without even a condom.

Has anyone seen 500 days of summer where the guy (with obscure name from 3rd rock from the sun whose name escapes me) does a dance in the street, HANDS HIS BAG to a STRANGER, then doesn't get it back for absolutely ages? Where's your bag mate??

So stressful.

Oh oh and when the bedside lamps are magically turned off by the main light switch. Whaa? I want a house wired up like that.

My lamps are wired up like this - in fact, at Christmas time, we can also turn our tree lights on and off using one of the main light switches on the wall.

Those lamps sound like hotel lights. I'm not sure I'd want those. I always end up in bed or at the door being unable to turn a light off at the other side of the room.

In NCIS, the female agents always have long flowing hair when in the office, but it is always severely tied back when they arrive at the crime scene. When do they do that? In the lift, in the car? Where?

And the stupidly high murder rate and how they always find the killer quickly and with ease.

Also when people tie their hair up perfectly without brushing it first. My hair never does that.

There's a scene in CSI where Calleigh (with her loose waist-long hair) was processing a smouldering arson crime scene in high heels and bright white trouser suit. Very practical.

That nothing ever costs an amount. People just hand over the correct money, or a note that they magically know is more than the cost and they get an unspecified amount of change back.

That no-ones mobile ever dies or has no signal unless they are lost or dying.

People in forensic white suits with the hood flapping about not covering their long, not tied back, wafting about, hair.

That people who lose their job instantly get another one, or get subbed by a relative, so that they don't have to tackle the potentially controversial subject of benefits.

When previously doting relatives who move to another town are completely forgotten about for weddings/funerals.

How about that pppssshhhhh noise that tellys make when people point the remote and change channels. Whose f*ing telly does that?

First responders never attempt CPR - they just rock up and declare someone dead without so much as a vague attempt to save them, although when they do perform CPR, they seem to be able to bring someone back from the dead by the sheer power of perseverance rather than judicious use of a defibrillator.

When people start to say something massively important along the lines of 'I'm pregnant/I'm having an affair/I've just found out that your mum killed someone' and if the phone goes or someone else comes into the room, they just decide not to bother mentioning it after all.

When people are out together and dressed for completely different weather - the woman will be in a tiny floaty dress chatting away to a man in a suit with a jacket over the top and neither looks too hot or cold.

Nobody ever seems to use a mouse when they are on the computer - they just tap away at the keyboard and the results ping up, or they have some magical touch-screen which allows them access to everything.

I also love it when they are using facial recognition software in things like CSI and Bones, and for some reason, each face in the database flashes up at speed as though the computer is actually looking at each face to see if it's a match.

In Modern Family they actually blurred out Gloria's front when she was breast feeding and also the genital region of a male character who was wearing cycling shorts.

I thought the whole point of the blurring in the cycling short episode was part of the joke - that he shorts were so obscenely revealing that they couldn't be shown on television...

When they have just ordered a drink, and take a dip, and then leave. Who does that in rl? Not me anyway

Re pre-work visiting in Friends: they're 20-somethings whose birthday parties are finished by 9pm. They're probably up and about at 5am.

On cooking shows -and in real life probably - when chefs prepare fish, then use their fishy hands to get a punch of salt from the pot, then use same salt to add to salted caramel or similar. I bloody hate fish so that really pisses me off. And I have a teeny scoop in my salt cellar, which is regularly washed.

When they do driving round big cities I know and they go past sights in an impossible way because try aren't actually positioned like that.

They made a good joke of it in the paddington film though

There was a good bit in Casualty this week. Doctor rocks up to bar, orders a triple vodka which is served within a few seconds, then goes out without drinking it or paying for it and doesn't get so much as a raised eyebrow from the bar staff. I want that pub for my local!

YY to the fact that everyone in soapland lives a two minute walk from their workplace. They also don't seem to own washing machines or kettles either judging by the amount of time they spend in launderettes and cafes.
Also, on a personal note, one thing that gets me shouting is hospital dramas etc where samples are 'sent to the lab' and the results come back about 4 minutes later.
I'm a secret fan of The Royal, a cheesy hospital drama set in the 60s. They had a patient on there with drug resistant TB once. A test that even these days takes several days at the very least. But no, they had their results back in about 20 minutes. I want to work in the Wonder-Lab where these amazing tests are done.