To get annoyed when people on tv

[LittleMissDonkeyonADustyRoad]

Don't wash their hands after going to the toilet

Don't wash their hands after touching raw chicken, especially when they just rub their hands on a towel

When they don't close the door after going in and out the house

And many more

Please tell me I'm not alone!

No-one could afford their house in Eastenders either Youlllikeit.

Lots of people do that in real life Titanium. Constantly talk about 'being skint' but don't ever think to cut the hundreds of pounds a month they spend on coffees, lunches and takeaways.

My dad used to get irrationally annoyed with Columbo, shouting "THAT WOULD NEVER STAND UP IN COURT!" at the tv.

In bed scenes where they always leap out and into their clothes without having a wash or even a pee. Must have sweat less sex and cast iron bladders.

Also, I know it's the law in America but the whole 555 phone number thing. It really irritates me as it reminds me that it's only a film/programme.

What's the 555 thing?

When flourescent lights come on witha 'shudump' sound and one switch turns them on individually in a sequence into the distance..

Another bed one is the L-shaped sheet, as often seen on "Dallas" with JR Ewing and his numerous mistresses (and in many programmes since) - covers up the paramour's cleavage while allowing the chap's manly chest to be exposed. And who, honestly, gets up to go to the bathroom/ answer the phone while clutching a sheet to their bosom in the presence of the person they've just been shagging?

When someone says to the villain "if you don't go to the police, I will"

My DH hates it when characters just end their call without any niceties.

I explain to him endlessly, that drama requires information to be passed as sparsely as possible. All extraneous dialogue (and action) must be cut. But he still yells 'Bye, see you soon, let's catch up in an hour or so,' at the telly.

Adult characters being given names that have only recently become fashionable for babies eg. Lola, Belle, Archie, Finn.

Squoosh, all phone numbers in American films have the area code 555. It doesn't exist in RL.

Laptops always have a cute animation of an opening envelope when the owner has new mail. This email is always a crucial plot device, the screen never explodes with animated envelopes full of Wowcher offers and pointless Twitter alerts.

No-one ever has ragged, uneven fingernails with chipped polish. Or chin hairs.

Writing an incredibly sophisticated program to hack the world's banking system/communications networks/space stations takes one coder approximately twenty minutes, using a borrowed laptop.

People always leave the room for some stated purpose - they never wander off for a pee, an aimless rummage in the fridge or to sort out their contact lenses.

If you do anything nasty, you were on a camera somewhere.

Ah, Micah my 2nd labour was actually like that - waters went, contractions in the car, baby delivered as soon as we got to hospital so that one doesn't seem unrealistic to me

Haha, so do I Word I also ask "When? Where shall we meet? Are you eating first?"

And go "Call the police/an ambulance, you twerp. Oh, no, it's a soap. You can't, can you, until it's too late!"

I know, I'm a nightmare.

Disappearing children! Adults can get on with their exciting lives, because kids all go to the Child Bank until required by a much, much later scene.

When medical people put gloves on - either sterile gloves (for whipping out that bullet just in the bay) and then touch everything around them, like grabbing the trolley under the drape or the light anywhere but the sterile cover (which is never on anyway) before poking about in the patient a bit, or they'll put one pair on and go poke around multiple people, fiddle with paperwork and grub about in the vehicle cab covered in blood.
Also lab technique - how do they get such amazing results when everything would be contaminated with everything else because they dip the same pipette tips in all the reagents and samples or touch droppers onto the sample and then just put the lid back on. DNA is always perfect from half a bead of sweat on a surface that everyone entering that room would touch and it takes about 10 minutes, also anyone can do it - doesn't matter if you're a ballistics expert, you can glance at DNA results and have the answer.

Also jobs on Eastenders and the like - it's a very closed community but if you punch your boss in the face or steal or have an affair or even just storm out, by tomorrow you'll have another job no bother possibly working for your previous bosses brother or something. And you can spend all day in the 'caff' or having a fag and a chat and not get fired. Nobody has any skills that aren't 'can do every job' regardless of needing certification.

I am such a sad git. Sorry!

Squoosh - I see Shadowfox has already answered you about the 555 thing. You mark my words - you will now notice it all the time now.

Never knew that about 555 area code but now I'm saying it aloud it certainly does sound familiar and you're right it will now register with me for ever more!

When someone calls "Turn on the TV!!", the character turns on the TV and what do you know, the important news is just starting. Not half way through, or coming up after the commercial break.

Computers make all sorts of crazy beeping and bleeping noises. Nobody in real life has a computer that bleeps and bloops at every keystroke.

Oh yes, horses too are always making noise. Whinnying and neighing and whatnot.

Yes to the door thing, drives me crazy! Anything to do with babies. They are born looking three months old, Mum loses baby weight immediately, never suffers from sleep deprivation and is always perfectly turned out.

I hate it when they get take out coffee and are carrying what are very obviously empty paper cups.

Also, when somebody knocks at anyone's door, they give the person about 4 seconds to answer before they start loudly hammering again.

no one shuts the front door

women always wear bras in bed, espcially when having sex ?

when you have 2 people who have just met for the first time, no exchange of detail no business cards etc, but one will go ok I'll call you.

How? How do you get their number how? You've met 5 minutes ago, just how.

Unless of course the 'plot' hinges on him/her losing the scrappy piece of paper. No one ever goes here call my mobile and I'll know I have your number. . . .