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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

allowed to cook sausages by themselves

74 replies

olivia8allthepies · 04/01/2015 23:52

Hi. My dd1, who is 9, stayed over at a friend's house last week (also 9). I was surprised to hear that they got up early the following morning and fried some sausages for themselves while the friend's parents were in bed. AIBU to think that they were a bit young to be doing this? Apparently they had asked permission and the mum had said it was fine!

OP posts:

Norfolkandchance1234 · 04/01/2015 23:55

No not to young at all. My DD makes a great cup of tea and is 7.

waitingfor3 · 04/01/2015 23:56

I was making soup / bacon / fish finger sandwiches at that age.
But I can't quite picture trusting my DD to do the same (almost 9) just yet as she has no interest in cooking anything bar toast.
Perhaps the friend has done this before and wanted to show off how 'grown up' she is?

MrsTawdry · 04/01/2015 23:57

Some children are more capable than others. I have a 10 year old and she's not allowed to cook on the hob without me there...but her cousin does very well in the kitchen and is more capable/sensible than my DD in that way.

DD has made toast and tea since she was 9 though.

Llareggub · 04/01/2015 23:58

Excellent idea. I might get mine cooking breakfast; I think I deserve breakfast in bed.

StarOnTheTree · 04/01/2015 23:58

It was irresponsible IMO. It would have been fine if the parents had supervised.

pumpkinsweetie · 04/01/2015 23:59

Too young imo, but my girls are not very mature so i cannot make a judgement on their child. But however i do think it's wrong your child who i assume has never cooked was allowed to do this without supervision.

McFox · 04/01/2015 23:59

I don't see the problem with that.

vestandknickers · 05/01/2015 00:01

No way.

Ok with adult supervision, but otherwise no.

CaulkheadUpNorth · 05/01/2015 00:01

I did this as a child, and remember doing it at sleepovers too.

Saying that, I was also cooking the family meals at 10 due to mum having ms, so I might not be the best to answer!

Original poster

olivia8allthepies · 05/01/2015 00:05

Her friend is much calmer and possibly has had more experience cooking with her mum. Mine has helped with baking and chopping etc but not frying anything. She tends to be a bit wild and chaotic!!

OP posts:

duchesse · 05/01/2015 00:05

Geez, all my children were cooking sensibly by that age. They were baking cakes by 9 and producing meals by 11. DS could make a fried breakfast (with me in the kitchen keeping a distant eye) by age 6.

Maybe your DD hasn't had much experience of cooking and that's where it's a bit dicier, but that's more about sleepover etiquette and the degree of supervision that should be given to visiting children than about whether it's sensible to know how to cook at 9 (I believe that it is crucial).

vestandknickers · 05/01/2015 00:08

Bottom line though parents should not assume that other people's children have the experience and it is irresponsible of them not to have got up.

Norfolkandchance1234 · 05/01/2015 00:13

Well now you know she is capable you can teach her a few basics to be getting along with. So long as pans of hot oil or water aren't involved, at first, it should be ok.
When my DD made her first cup of tea alone whilst I was in another room I nearly had a heart attack.
Then when I realised she wasn't going to not make it I showed her how to do it safely and also how exactly I like to take my tea

Original poster

olivia8allthepies · 05/01/2015 00:21

thank you for all your replies! yes I think that it is my particular 9 year old that I wouldn't trust in the kitchen unsupervised not just generally! I think that her friend was probably very capable. Seems they managed perfectly well anyway! Possibly my dd is more responsible when she knows she's not being supervised?? All sorts of dangerous silliness when I am around.

OP posts:

MistressDeeCee · 05/01/2015 00:24

To be honest Id be surprised if at 9 years old she didn't know how to fry sausages. Do you not allow her to fry an egg?! My DDs were already cooking simple things at age 9 and as far as I recall, that wasn't unique amongst their friends. Perhaps the other parents should have got up but maybe they just thought its something she could do ie not unusual. Maybe just have a word with them if you feel the need so they know what your DD is & isn't allowed to do.

VioletandRoger · 05/01/2015 00:28

At 9 she really should be making simple things like omelette or heating up beans for toast.

MrsTawdry · 05/01/2015 00:30

DeeCee well I'd be surprised if ALL 9 year olds were capable of dealing with hot, spitting fat!

I'll be showing mine how to grill or oven cook them...much safer than a frying pan!

Original poster

olivia8allthepies · 05/01/2015 00:31

She has never fried anything! I didn't realize kids did that at 9. Don't think her other friends do. I shall have to help her gain some more skills I think.

OP posts:

merlehaggard · 05/01/2015 00:33

My 12 year old even doesn't! She uses the oven, makes toast and tea but so far the closest she's got to the hob is to stir our cooking tea with me around. She has cooked sausages on a George foreman but not with a naked flame.

MistressDeeCee · 05/01/2015 00:35

MrsTawdry who said they all were? & most 9 year olds have the sense to dodge spitting fat or not turn the cooker up on full. They mostly are pretty responsible at that age. Being unable to fry a sausage or an egg at age 9 DOES seem strange to me but hey, each to their own

BitchyTakesOnManagement · 05/01/2015 00:39

In some cultures they are cooking 3 course meals on their own by the time they are 10!

Ds has been able to operate the oven safely since he was 4. He was one of those who was going to do it anyway so had to be taught to keep him safe (ie with permission and me hoovering over him and doing the taking things out bit until he was physically strong enough to do it safely) He is 9 but is perfectly capable of cooking from scratch pasta, sausages, porridge, turkey drummers and chips, scrambled eggs, omlettes etc. I have yet to teach him how to do cottage pie, but he has been a dab hand with a potato peeling since he was 3. His father otoh was not allowed in the kitchen until he went to high school as his mother didn't think it was safe. Different people have different opinions of what is acceptable based on their own experiences.

I think in this situation I'd ask if it was dd who did the cooking or her friend who cooked for her. "I suspect that we cooked our own sausages" might actually be "I watched and my friend did it for me cos I didn't know how but it felt really grown up and I like that feeling"

I know for ds it has done his confidence the world of good to learn to cook and be independant this way. He is incredibly proud of the occassions he makes me breakfast in bed. Perhaps cooking lessons if you are worried. Also some kids just take instruction better when it is not from their parents. Ds did a lot of early baking with his grandma whom he adored and worships and followed instructions far better than he would if the same instruction was given by anyone else. I know that ds would not have listened to me as well as he did if he hadn't been doing this with someone other than me first. Perhaps this is your opportunately to do more in the kitchen having seen what sensible attitude and actions can result in?

MrsTawdry · 05/01/2015 00:40

Well your admission that you'd be surprised at a 9 year old who couldn't fry food on a hob indicated that you thought the majority would...whereas I think it's possibly the opposite.

MrsTawdry · 05/01/2015 00:40

My last post to "mistress"

BitchyTakesOnManagement · 05/01/2015 00:41

Sorry about that MrsT it took rather a while to write my post

SantasFavouriteHo · 05/01/2015 00:42

My mum was very ill both being pregnant with my brother and then severe pnd after so I was making full family meals age 9/10, tbf my 4 year old DS "helps" in the kitchen now but I'm not sure what age I'd let him do it unsupervised

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