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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

allowed to cook sausages by themselves

74 replies

olivia8allthepies · 04/01/2015 23:52

Hi. My dd1, who is 9, stayed over at a friend's house last week (also 9). I was surprised to hear that they got up early the following morning and fried some sausages for themselves while the friend's parents were in bed. AIBU to think that they were a bit young to be doing this? Apparently they had asked permission and the mum had said it was fine!

OP posts:

Isindethickofit · 05/01/2015 01:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CheeseBuster · 05/01/2015 01:17

I could make scrambled eggs for myself and took my mum boiled eggs for brekkie at 4.

I would be really shocked if a 9yo told me they couldn't make a bacon sarnie. And the 12yo not allowed a naked flame, well I bet she uses Bunsen burners at school. Much better they do it at home first 1 to 1 than 30 to 1.

I would expect a 10 yo to be able produce easy tasty meals like cottage pie, fajitas, stew etc. if they had been around the kitchen watching parents cooking since infancy.

Really I think children are much more capable than some parents give them credit for.

merlehaggard · 05/01/2015 01:45

I assume we are talking about unsupervised here. I would also assume that when using a Bunsen burner at school they would be supervised. Of course, at 12 my daughter could cook anything with my supervision and help, but I would not be happy with me laying in bed whilst she cooks on a hob.

merlehaggard · 05/01/2015 01:49

I also don't see the huge hurry. She doesn't need to cook meals yet. I never learned to cook (apart from a tiny bit at school) or iron until I married. It never did me any harm. I'd often cook cakes but not meals.

ostrichhead · 05/01/2015 02:02

I know someone of another culture, who cooked and cared for siblings by age 5...

and someone else who became disabled suddenly who's 3 year old suddenly learned (did it rather than being told to, and my wheelchair bound friend was unable to prevent her - how they found out) how to climb up onto any surface to get down whatever she thought her mum needed without breaking her neck/arm etc

so it's not impossible for children to step up to whatever the expectations are of them

But I do think, that in the UK, in the current world we live in - that it's expecting a bit much, and I'd be shocked at not supervising a child of 9, but not shocked enough to deem it altogether irresponsible - I mean they were in the house and presumably could hear what was going on/be there within a moment if there was a problem?

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 05/01/2015 02:06

If something is 'normal ' for your child or family, you don't tend to think of it as an issue for other people. If their DD regularly cooks, I'm not surprised they didn't think about supervising just because your DD was there. The parents were awake, it's not like they got up at 2 am and did it secretly.

I know 9 year olds who can cook a full, very tasty meal, and 9 year olds who I'd barely trust with a butter knife. Depends on their natural ability, interest and parental outlook!

Cooking is a good skill, they're never too young to start learning IMO, toddlers can join in and go from there.

Don't make the mistake of giving her blunt knives either, far more accidents than with proper sharp knives.

ScrambledeggLDCcakeBOAK · 05/01/2015 02:13

IMO its the fact your dd was allowed to at that age that's off.

I could at that age, many kids can.

But if I had someone else's 9 year old in the house I wouldn't let them even if I would let my dd if that makes sense.

musicalendorphins2 · 05/01/2015 02:37

I would never lay in bed while my 9 year old child had a friend over. Lazy hosting. I would be up making them breakfast! Or, if they really wanted to do it, I would be sitting right there watching.
My dh & I are in agreement, 9 is ok, supervised by an adult, 13 is ok to use a stove unsupervised.

LaLyra · 05/01/2015 02:48

I think it depends entirely on the child. Arbitrary ages where something is ok make no sense to me. My DD1 is 10 and I happily let her cook unsupervised, if she had a friend round that I didn't know I'd probably keep a closer eye right enough.

DD2 is 8 and has the attention span of a knat. I suspect she'll be about 25 by the time the idea of her cooking stops giving me palpitations (she has inherited her father's sense of 'oh, I didn't think...')

Bulbasaur · 05/01/2015 02:54

Trying to remember what age I started cooking.

I know by the time I was 12 I was cooking meals for the family since the rule was those who cook don't wash. But once the novelty wore off, I went back to do doing dishes and letting my parents cook.

For as long as I can remember since I was making breakfast for my parents on mother/father's day.

Italiangreyhound · 05/01/2015 02:54

Too young, IMHO.

I set a frying pan on fire at 21!

So not sure when is the right time.

HollyBdenum · 05/01/2015 03:13

Hmmm. I let DD (8) do chopping, but she's not tall enough to use the hob safely. I've been waiting until she can see into the pan without standing on a stool as my solo cooking guide. People whose younger children cook - how do they reach and see what they are cooking?

googoodolly · 05/01/2015 05:12

Definitely not too young. These are kids going off to secondary/high school in a couple of years and who are going to be walking home alone and being left home alone during the holidays soon. Surely they need to learn to cook now before being left he unattended and hungry as pre-teens?

I think it's quite worrying that 9 year olds can't make a basic sausage sandwich on their own, tbh. It's hardly rocket science.

Aebj · 05/01/2015 05:26

Ds 1 is 11. He can cook but I wouldn't really trust him
Ds 2 is 9. He's an amazing chef. He gets left in the kitchen all the time ( I do help but he's in control and I trust him)
If the boys had a sleep over they do toast or cereals for brekki unsupervised . I would and do get up and they needed anything else

Eastpoint · 05/01/2015 05:56

YABU, they are not too young. Maybe your dc could do some cooking on their own while you 'read the paper & have a cup of tea' at the kitchen table. That way you could allow them more freedom while still being in the room should a problem arise.

ithoughtofitfirst · 05/01/2015 06:02

Hmmm I want to be one of those mums who involves dc in housework but I would feel a bit anxious if I wasn't somewhere close by to keep one eye on them. But I did used to make pancakes unsupervised at that age come to think of it. So I don't know . not helpful .

VioletandRoger · 05/01/2015 07:05

It was likely your DD only stood and watched, got the plates out and opened the pack of sausages. The other girl had probably made them a million times before with her mum and she was obviously judged steady and responsible enough to cook them on her own.

VioletandRoger · 05/01/2015 07:06

What cooking has your DD done? Essential life skills long term

Original poster

olivia8allthepies · 05/01/2015 18:23

erm....none really.... nope.. no actual using ovens, hobs etc only preperation, mixing, chopping etc My husband and I do the cooking as did our parents when we were kids.

OP posts:

CheeseBuster · 05/01/2015 18:27

Maybe you could start involving her? She could peel and chop and stir whilst having a nice chat with you or her dad. I used to love spending time with mum cooking together.

Vycount · 05/01/2015 18:30

Not a problem at all. I used to cook Sunday breakfast (including differently fried eggs) at that age while Mum and Dad had a lie in.

HidingBehindANewNickname · 05/01/2015 18:30

My DD (8yo) is simply not interested in cooking. At all. Apart from anything that involves icing - so she can eat the icing.

DS (6yo) on the other hand loves cooking. Anything and everything. He is supervised at the moment but I could well imagine him in a year or two cooking bacon/sausages.

BTW if your DD's friend is from a family of campers it is possible she has developed some of her sausage frying skills from camp stoves?

fredfredgeorgejnr · 05/01/2015 18:32

There's absolutely nothing wrong or shocking for a 9 year old to be cooking sausages, and I'm pretty surprised that so many have done so little cooking. So there was no reason for the parents to get up simply because your DD was there.

YABU.

Quitelikely · 05/01/2015 18:34

There is no way on this earth I would let a nine year old near a cooker! My 12 year old is allowed to make toast and use the microwave!

XBoxTesting · 05/01/2015 18:34

I used to let my 11 year old do scrambled eggs and pancakes on her own (with me in the house and awake to bail her out in case of emergency), and she was far from mature and domestic. 9 seems a little young but not outside the normal range.

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