Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask how you would respond to this request (demand) from DC's rugby coach.

50 replies

HidingBehindANewNickname · 04/01/2015 16:50

DCs are 6 and 8. Both play rugby.

The U7s play tag rugby. Is fun (running about and getting muddy) and serious (the rules, etiquette, good behaviour) in equal measure. A perfect way to introduce a sport, encourage activity, keep interest up. We get the odd email about fixtures. Coaches are realistic about the mentality/commitment of 6/7 year olds. And that they are part of a family and so cannot necessarily be at every single practice (eg Christmas is busy, if you can get here great, if not we understand)

The U9 are a whole different ball game. My 8 yo only just started, so is several years behind most of the others in experience - but very keen. It is full contact (eek) but DC is loving it. The Coach is a whole different ball-game though. Endless passive aggressive emails about turning up/commitment over Christmas/signing up to rugby weekends abroad away over Easter. Making coaching times 30 minutes earlier than all the other mini-teams (so we/other DC has to hang around doing nothing). The latest was this email:

^"The biggest transition in a young rugby players life is their move into the full contact game. I would therefore like to follow up on this mornings training session, and also for those players/parents who could not make it today, to ask for your and your son/daughter's personal commitment to do their 3 sets x 10 reps daily Press Ups every single day, either 1st thing in the morning before breakfast or last thing at night before bed.

Press Ups builds upper body strength needed for tackling, including core/stomach strength. Please ensure that their technique is absolutely correct and that they do 3 x 10 reps as a minimum, every single day. No other U9 team in the world will do this and that will set us apart from everyone else. "^

How would you respond to this?

OP posts:
Original poster
HidingBehindANewNickname · 04/01/2015 16:51

Italic fail Blush Cannot seem to do it:

*The biggest transition in a young rugby players life is their move into the full contact game. I would therefore like to follow up on this mornings training session, and also for those players/parents who could not make it today, to ask for your and your son/daughter's personal commitment to do their 3 sets x 10 reps daily Press Ups every single day, either 1st thing in the morning before breakfast or last thing at night before bed.

Press Ups builds upper body strength needed for tackling, including core/stomach strength. Please ensure that their technique is absolutely correct and that they do 3 x 10 reps as a minimum, every single day. No other U9 team in the world will do this and that will set us apart from everyone else.*

OP posts:
Original poster
HidingBehindANewNickname · 04/01/2015 16:51

Double Blush Grin

OP posts:
atoughyear · 04/01/2015 16:53

Pre pubescent boys can't 'build muscle.' It's physiologically impossible! Both my DS play rugby and one or two or their coaches are overly ambitious and pushy twats but even they have never suggested this sort of thing.

TittingAbout · 04/01/2015 16:54

I'd tell him to fuck off and get some perspective.

It's a game.

atoughyear · 04/01/2015 16:55

I also think the RFU would have a fit if they heard this. I'd contact your child protection officer at the club. One of my DS is at the same stage (under 9) and I would see my own arse if his coach suggested this.

ImperfectAlf · 04/01/2015 16:56

No other U9 team in the world do this for a good reason....it's ridiculous.

Littleturkish · 04/01/2015 16:56

What a shame they're being ridiculous.

It isn't suitable for U9s to be training like that.

Vycount · 04/01/2015 16:57

Text back "There's a reason why no other U9 team in the world will do this. They are children."

Tobyjugg · 04/01/2015 16:57

I thought this was about washing and ironing their kit! This is rubbish. I'd find another team for them tbh.

JammyDodger1 · 04/01/2015 16:58

People like him give clubs and coaches a bad name!

Is he the only coach at their age group?

SoupDragon · 04/01/2015 16:59

I'd tell him to fuck off and get some perspective.

This.

My DSs have been playing since a similar age (they're U16 and U14 now) and that is utterly ridiculous.

It makes sense for the U12 age group as this is the last one before they join a league at U13. At U9 it is daft!

ImperfectAlf · 04/01/2015 16:59

It's also a great way to put people off a fantastic game. Both my dcs played rugby, without this type of idiocy, and really enjoyed it for years. Maybe the coach is just a wee bit too competitive for his own good. I second letting the RFU know.

Vycount · 04/01/2015 16:59

Actually I'd be tempted to make a complaint to whatever body this coach is accountable to. I should think your GP would have something to say about this being demanded of young children.

ApocalypseThen · 04/01/2015 17:00

That's excessive and potentially physically damaging. Have other parents commented on it? Have the RFU got underage coaching guidelines on their website?

canutesauntie · 04/01/2015 17:04

Over the top and wouldn't be sanctioned or suggested by the rfu coaching system ( or other home unions).
I would have a word with the committee member in overall charge of coaching, or the chair to get them to rein the coach in.
Please don't let him put you off, his attitude is very unusual in rugby - is he over competitive dad from the fast show?
But no YANBU.

zeeboo · 04/01/2015 17:05

That's hilarious!!!! Yeah mate, there's a reason that no other team does it and it's because it's pointless!

FannyFanakapan · 04/01/2015 17:05

Ditto - my son plays U16 and has been playing since he was 5. Never been asked to do this.

However, several years ago, a parent tried to usurp the head coach, and both were asked to submit a plan for the year to the parents, so the parents could vote.

Bolshy parent published a 15 page manifesto that included dietary advice and insisting the children had a mid week fitness session, plus daily fitness regime, plus advice on sleep and various other things.

Head coach responded with a 5 page document based on the F.A.R.T method (Fun, something, something, Training) in a complete piss take. Head coach won. Kids were 8.

Id be tempted to respond "ha ha ha good one coach, you had me believing that for a minute! Thank goodness we are THAT kind of club huh! "

ImperfectAlf · 04/01/2015 17:06

Children at this age have a lot of growing to do. This year's prop is next year's spindly winger. Unless a child shows extraordinary aptitude at this age, and you are building an elite team, it's more trouble than it's worth. It is unlikely to cause any major physical problems, if done properly, but is definitely counterproductive, imo.

Vycount · 04/01/2015 17:09

How full contact is it actually supposed to be for an 8 year old?

Original poster
HidingBehindANewNickname · 04/01/2015 17:10

Thank you. So far these have pretty much confirmed what I thought. I like the idea of checking with the committee/youth training.

OP posts:
TheQuibbler · 04/01/2015 17:10

That is so daft. My son is also is the U9's for a rugby club where the head coach would be astounded and blooming furious at that sort of 'coaching'.

This guy really needs reporting. That is not the sort of teacher that you want anywhere near young children - at least not until someone gives him a very hard check about what is and isn't suitable for that age group.

ImperfectAlf · 04/01/2015 17:11

I was just about to post that, Vycount.

anotherdayanothersquabble · 04/01/2015 17:11

Sounds like he is taking his position way to seriously and has missed the goal of most kids at this age, to join in and have fun unless you have signed up to an elite team where the expectations have been clearly communicated.

Ignore all of the pressure to be at training etc. Quietly make sure that a club committee member / another coach is seeing copies of these emails. Hopefully someone else in the club will gentle redirect his enthusiasm!

If your child is super keen, then by all means, don't stop him doing the press ups but I personally wouldn't be making it happen every morning!!

Original poster
HidingBehindANewNickname · 04/01/2015 17:11

And so far coach has shown huge interest in anyone they perceive to be good and not much interest in anyone new/less immediately able.

OP posts: